The tragic story of a life not yet lived
I lie unburied
My bones shake like leafs in an autumn wind
Tears fall from my darkened eyes
Like solid pieces of silence
The hands you once held are now tied like knots
This is ugly,
Like the future.
We are constructed of light,
Like humiliation.

If love were a knife, you'd be the harshest blade
Piercing my skin
Maiming my raw flesh
Rupturing my heart and mind with your honed blade of infatuation.
So I'm begging you; impale me
With your love,
Your lust
Anything
I'm just asking to be yours.

Narrow halls. Screaming barricades. Barred windows.
I've become a prisoner in my own head.
Like a  bird; confined in a cage invisible to everyone but myself.
The shadows of my past linger, tease my nerves.
My emotions trapped inside the glass jar of my conscience.
Nothing left to give, but these empty promises and false hope.

The person in the mirror who stares back
Bewildered child with the sunflower eyes
Just a child, impalpable
Not the child they saw, but the child I felt
The child that was me
A crack in the surface
A fly on the wall
An unwanted smile
An unheard secret
Frozen in the weight of my anonymity,
Insecure or in denial?
My darkened eyes bare witness to the pathetic restraints of society
They change everyone around me
Just not for the better

I've grown to love Sundays and the slow-paced reveries that come with them.
I've grown to love my home and the people in it.
I've grown to love the winter. But only at night.
I love how every tiny light reflects off the snow.
How the wind blows across my bare face, freezing my juvenile flesh.

Scream out, reach out, embrace
Embrace the season
Embrace the feeling
Embrace life, right?

I've grown to love my face.
I've grown and I've seen and I've felt.
I've lived and I've died and I've lived again.
Reborn.

I've hurt and I've been hurt.
I've loved and I've been loved.
I've followed and I've lead.

I've grown to realize that there can't be a beginning without an ending
And there can't be an ending without a beginning.
So take what you're given,
'Cause it's true what they say;
You never know what you have until it's gone.

It's like lying awake at night; dark encompasses you.
Takes you somewhere sacred. A place known only to you.
A strange intimacy always seems to manage to make it's way though the blackness,
And showers you with aspiration and defeat in one instance.
The cold blackness splits.
Its seams rip.
A young light bursts in.
Blinding, you tremble.
The vacuum of its abnormality sick you in
New hope.

The ocean air passing through our fading bodies
As we sit on the ledge of what could be the end.
I can see it in your eyes, you're discouraged - unable to see the beauty you radiate.
Your words are like soft melodies in this warm summer breeze.
Put away your sadness and please know;
When I'm without you,
I have no purpose,
Life has no meaning,
Dreams are left unfulfilled.
You're the only honest thing to me in this world of lies.

Drown me in the intensity of your gaze
And my lungs fill with lust
As I sink into your warm embrace

You've become part of me; the better part
The blood in my veins
The air I breathe
A necessity

When you're not here, the weeks drag on like years
And the days I spend with you are over almost as quickly as they start
But they're still some of the best times I've had
You've won me over in no time at all

Damaging choices
Circumstances of lust
You loved me under false pretences
This futile chasing of beauty mistaken for meaning
Gone forever with the summer breeze
These illusions,
The touching of your skin, it doesn't mean a thing
But it will always be the mind turning things around
To create empty beauty to love, to fill the void of ennui
But it shatters under scrutiny when we try to get closer,
Try to breathe it in to reality
It dissipates
It disappears
Each time
So stay under the dome of imagination
Never try to merge it with reality
Love is a game
You can't always win.

A new chapter in my life
The pages are tattered and torn
The binding worn
Read through it
And there's still no answer

Hold one ear against the ground
But the dirt, it makes no sound
A pregnant bubble of silence

My eyes,
Widened by surprise
Covered with flies
I **** the sky dry
Trying to keep myself breathing
But each inspiration leaves me with a bitter taste

I need to breathe you in again
Take you in
Fixation
Consumption with hope
Desire

For no one
but you.

Eyes glazed with a sleepy despondency
Imploding into nothingness
Waiting for you to fall back into my life
You're my angel with the bleeding wings
Fallen from grace
Cross my fingers
Picture myself inside your kiss
Breathe in
I am alive

Your eyes; windows. Naked glimpses of a lonely soul. Exposed.
Your breath; liquid. Filling my lungs with each inspiration. Remorseless.
Your heart; desolate. Your solitude, echoing my own. Aversion.
Our bodies; shoelaces. Twisted and intertwined. Messy and knotted.
This love; unspoken, but there.

The bittersweet taste of defeat
You swallow me whole
Your name may as well be fate
Laying here with beauty in my head
I've never felt so insulated
You're the only thing that can make it past my skin
You're everything anyone should ever be
You've flooded my life with feelings
That I didn't believe in until I met you

I think I'm breaking down
With my heart held in your hands and my head against the sky
It feels so right to be consumed completely

I swear, something deepens within us
It's moments like these that make me believe
Your eyes could swallow me whole

Reality becomes something foreign to us
Living in the midst of our infatuation

We are children of lost illusions, nothing more
The guilt and apathy that follows, lingers like shadows
Days pass and nights fade
They become nothing more than a dream
Prayers for reaction silently pass through out jaded lips
Your glass kisses can't bandage my broken heart
Lost in the vacant air, my words fall
Like leafs from the tree of life
Like tears from a mother
Let me live my life
Even if it does feel like a switched-off radio.

Sacrifice and wonder
The nights were warm and the days were long
As we made our way to that sacred place
Inside our heads
Inside out hearts
Never again will I see a love like this
Held together by a dream of forever
Aspiration radiates from out toothy grins
Hopeful reveries play like tapes behind out shining eyes
All the worries that occupy the back of my mind are drowned,
Overwhelmed, by your reassuring embrace
I'm yours to keep

The strongest winds,
The harshest currents,
Couldn't sweep away all the memories we've made
There is no one else
That could make me feel the way i do when I'm with you
No matter how hard I try,
You're always on my mind
Invading the darkest corners of my head
Plaguing my thoughts with the aching and longing
For you
    r touch.

When all you want is barren,
When all you need seems to have vanished,
Life seems like a dream.
There's no waking up, caught in a state of melancholy numbness,
There are many ways of being held prisoner.
Sometimes all we've got are silent reveries and shattered hope.
Day and night seem to blend into one stretched blur of solitary confinement.
The imperatives that hold us together and apart are vigorous with bad intentions.

We buried our love in a shallow grave
And this lump in my throat is all that remains
Every word that we spoke now bleeding into reality
Carried away with my desire to be yours
Until there's nothing left for you and me
Nothing but my sick redirection to be hurt
Longing for the mirrored perspective
When I'll be able to forget
The look on your face
The obscured shadow in your eyes
When I left

It's been so long since I've slept
My mind shattered and disfigured by the hurt
Impaired by my sadness, I can't function
Oppressed, trapped, by something much larger than me
I can't help but feel distraught and empty
So I'll take it out on myself
The fine art of self-destruction

She's always there
******* with my head
A quiet ghost
A silent demon
A demon of desire and deceit
The intensity of her eyes leaves me cold and empty
Her aching stare haunts me
Tempts me