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Even though I should be paying full attention to
[insert whatever ******* priority is taking up your creative space here]
I must write this:

Things are slowly becoming less magical
My view is less romantic

I'm trying very hard to see it like I once did
But songs are becoming a blend of different frequencies
Writing is becoming a clusterfuck of sentences that may or may not be important
People are becoming an amalgamation of what they want to be -
A pastiche of everything they once dreamed they could be but slowly realized they are not

But my intuition is still right
Sometimes

Every now and again it reminds me that these little instinctual things
These nothings that pop into my head
Come from a higher place
Should this place be a part of my brain
I cannot access - so be it
But if it's a force of some sort
Pushing me further and further into this illusion
I think I would prefer that

It saves me from doing all the work
The artist is strong
He has the power
to make anything that he wants
He wears the cloak
that all others seek to dismantle
So they can wear it for themselves
He has influence
he has control

The man is weak
He crafts his artwork
to cover every single flaw
To rewrite everything
He is burdened by whatever vulnerability
all others cannot imagine
His insecurities fuel him
he has no control
I do things that as a kid I promised I wouldn't
and tell myself that it's alright when I probably shouldn't
because my brainpower
could be used for staying power
'stead I fly for cover like birds in a rain shower

We go bad like curds on the Mayflower
hoping we can make one moment last eight hours
forget our jealousy
convinced we're making memories,
but something in my heart keeps on telling me:

Somebody tell me why I'm so mad
and why growing apart makes me so sad
sometimes I wish I could go back
I really wish I could go back

I've made mistakes, and I know that
I have a good heart, but I'm so bad
sometimes I wish I could go back
oh how I wish I could go back
Paranoid minds never find peace
A thousand battles I have fought
With nobody here beside me
Anxiety builds swiftly
The pounding in my chest
Every mistake I've ever made
Makes me wish for death

The future looks bleak
Taking a pill every day
Chemically imbalanced brains cause suffering
Praying for something to take me away
Hit the bottle hard, looking for an escape
Anything to outlive this madness
That plagues my every day

— The End —