everyone
let        
me  
be

nothing i do
is calming me down
like every time
i talk to you
you have an effect on me                                      
where i immediately feel so                  
much better                                                    
a ball of                                    
nervous energy                        
buzzing and shaking          
i'm waiting
waiting
waiting
always waiting
for you to be here
to simply talk to me
just that                                                
talking to me                                                
well you mostly singing
and me sitting
we don't exactly talk
we exist                    
together

i think, that                                      
is what calms me                                      
a sense that
maybe i'll be
whole again
maybe
*???

i love standing in the wind                        
letting the velocity of the storm                                
make me feel weak in a different way                                          
weak as in                                                                
not mentally
or physically
just that i know                              
it's bigger than me                              
and yet                
nor the rain
thunder
lightning
wind
make me feel scared                                                  
i like to enjoy the power                                            
it's not mine                                            
but i'm in the presence                                              
of a great power                                                          
that can create destruction
destroy lives                        
ruin everything                  
one day                                                                                              
i just want to                                                                                              
lay in a field                                                                                              
back down in                                                                                              
the grass                                                                                              
with rain pounding                                                                                              
down, lighting                                                                                              
breaking the sky                                                                                              
thunder blasting                                                                                              
wind howling                                                                                              
and simply                                                                          
feel like nothing                                                                  
to the wold,                                                                          
because i'm                                                                          
tiny                                                                                        
compared to it                                                                    
                                                                  
i want to die
in the presence
of a power
bigger than
anyone
can handle

—a storm—

all my aches left me
i stopped hurting    
most bad thoughts  
were gone,                                          
to be replaced by                                          
simplicity                                          
and happiness                                          
and i think  
90% of it      
was because
of you                          
thanks.
thank-you
so much
x

i'm trying so hard
to learn how        
to accept compliments
and actually believe it
i am trying
i really am
but no matter what                    
i just cant seem to grasp                    
why anyone would think                  
i have the ability to be pretty                  
i just
can't