i am not ready for my grave
i haven't married
the girl of my dreams yet
she is studying
and she is thinking about me
while she should be thinking
about calculus or chemistry
and she is not ready for her grave
because she hasn't married
the boy of her dreams yet
he is here
writing a poem about how
he isn't ready to die yet
because he hasn't checked the last thing
off of his bucket list yet

do not kiss me
unless you will miss me
you better cry every night
and cry every morning
when i am not around
i want it to hurt
in your chest
in your veins
that i am not around
do not kiss me
unless you will miss me
because once i have you
the tears will roll like waves
the pain will blitz like linebackers
once i have you

love is the only thing
that can **** us
girl, it will **** you
and it will take me with you
if we let it
if we get weak
if we give up
it will **** us
because love doesn't care
it has no mercy
and we can't have any either
lets make it work
today
tomorrow
the day after
the week after
until we are old and grey
and then, and only then
does love have our permission
to take us away

the world only stops
when she is the right one
it only dances
when she will steal your heart
the world only cries
when you are about to lose her
the world only smiles
when she is smiling
the world only laughs
when she embarrasses herself
the world only screams
when you two are fighting
but the world loves her
so so much
the world appreciates her
you should too
before the world cries forever

maybe i should
ask her to marry me
she is all i think about
i would die if i didn't have her
when i wake up
she is the first person i think about
before i shut my eyes at night
i see her in the dark
i see her in my heart
and in my soul
i will never let her go
i hope she is ready
because lord knows
i have been ready
for so long

one plus one
equals two
but one heart
plus another one
equals magic
so trust love
it trusts you
so embrace love
it embraces you
so love love
it loves you

here i go again
pushing people away
hiding from the world
living in a shell
here i go again
refusing to talk to people
walking faster and faster
from place to place
here i go again
being who i used to be
who i swore i would never be again

i messed up before
it was the right person
but the wrong time
she was beautiful
from her head to her toes
she was everything to me
and she was the right person
but it was the wrong time for me
i didn't know then
what i know now
i didn't know how to handle
a delicate person
i didn't know how to take my ego
and put it away for a while
i didn't know
that you have nurture love
not ignore it
and hope it will stick around

from the moment i saw you
i wanted you
man oh man
i wanted everything to do with you
some how
some way
i knew i would get you
i knew i would
i had to
because i never felt that feeling
i never felt the world stop
never heard my heart scream before
never heard a laugh
as funny as yours
and i knew i wanted that laugh
i wanted everything to do with it

the last time we ate together
we ate at a diner
i had eggs benedict
you had mozzarella sticks
it was four in the morning
and we didn't care about anything
but each other and our stomachs
it was sad
because i would be leaving you
and there was nothing i could do
but for that hour we spent
the world seemed perfect
even though it was crashing down
all around us
and there was nothing we could do

today is the first day
of the rest of our lives
me and you, girl
lets hold hands
and never let go
lets promise to never leave
no matter how hard it gets
no matter what
lets promise to never give up
we can't be another statistic
we can't be a part of the 50%
no how, no way
so until we get arthritis
lets hold hands
and never let go
until death do us part

nighttime
is the best time
the time is always right
when the moon is out
daytime
is the worst time
the time is always wrong
when the sun is out
i would think differently
if i wasn't a vampire
but i am
therefore, i am in love with nighttime
and i am in hate with daytime

i like the moon
more than the sun
no offense to the sun
but the moon is less arrogant
it is subtle
and doesn't feel the need
to let everyone in the world know
that it is the greatest thing since sliced bread
the moon goes to work
when the sun leaves its shift
it does its job, effortlessly
then slips away slowly
as the sun begins bragging again

sometimes i get headaches
i get them often
very often
sometimes she gives them to me
sometimes i give them to myself
nevertheless, my head gets lit on fire
it feels like the more i over-think
the more my head hurts
the more i push her away
the more i can't sleep
the more unstable i am, the more my head can't take it
these headaches are killing me
killing me softly
killing me slowly
i have no pills left in the bottle
tonight might be the night
a headache takes me away for good

i needed to make a change
i was doing it all wrong
the fights became frequent
every other day it was something new
i realized that most of it was my fault
in fact, all of it
was my fault
so i made a change
i stopped making excuses
stopped telling her what i would do
and started doing it
for her, and for myself
i realized that we wouldn't make it
if i continued to treat her like that
if i continued to sink our ship

the people who i used to laugh with
don't look at my face anymore
they don't look into my eyes
the same people i used to eat with
don't care if i'm starving
the same people i used to spend all night with
don't care if i'm alive or dead
i guess that's how it is
people act like they love you
but then act like they never knew you

this song reminds me
of the day i left her
all the same emotions pour out of me
when the beat comes alive
i hold back tears
though they are fighting to be free
the last time i left her
i almost cried
but i couldn't let he see me like that
no, no, no, no
i couldn't let her see me break down
i had to be strong for her
even though my heart stopped beating
and i forgot how to breathe

i push her away
not on purpose
it just happens
sometimes i think she will leave
sometimes i think she should
she doesn't know me well
what i go through every day
how broken i am
how torn my organs are
but i love her
i love her like the moon loves the sky
like the sun love setting after a long day of work
i will always love her
even though i push her away sometimes

thoughts of the future scare me
always have, always will
how can they not?
never knowing when it's my turn to go
when it's my turn to leave earth
not knowing if i will see old age
not knowing if my dreams will come true
it scares me like nothing else
the future is a mystery
today is a burden
yesterday was hell
i don't know where i am anymore

i have no bridges
left to burn
around here
i torched them all
ashes flew across campus
trust left town
friendships fell in fire
bridges built from wood
had no chance at all

she affects me
like music does
i get the same feeling
while talking to her
that i get when
i put my headphones on
and drift away
never to return

she is just as crazy as i am
our relationship
is the perfect storm
the perfect balance
between calm and chaos
some days
we are waves that hit the shore
other days
we are shooting stars
but we don't give up on each other
we want to be together that badly

even when she's gone
she still makes me smile
it's funny because
there are people
who once made you smile
when they weren't around
but then they left for good
and made that smile disappear
but someone came along
and made the smile reappear
in the blink of an eye
they lit another fire
inside your soul
and we can only hope
hope that they stay this time

on this day
i don't know what to do
it is a day i spend thinking
about my life thus far
the mistakes i have made
the people i have pushed away
the nightmares i still see at night
wondering if there is anything more to life
at this point
i am numb to the people around me
and numb to myself
i don't look in the mirror for too long anymore
i am content just knowing i don't know anything
content knowing i have a heart keeping me alive
and content knowing one day it will stop beating
until that day comes
i hope my numbness goes away sometime
before they put me in the ground
with the bugs and the berries

she is my life
so if i ever lose her
i will die
a horrible prolonged death
somewhere on this campus
they will find my body
under a bush
or behind a bike rack
i will be motionless
i will be breathless
i will be loveless
if i ever lose her
i will be lifeless
because she is my life
and everything she does
affects me like nothing else

somewhere along the lines
everyone became a stranger
or became an enemy
i'm not good with people
never have been
never will be
which makes it hard
for me to keep people in my life
but i don't force anyone to leave
they find their own way out
and they never ever return
which is fine by me
because i still have myself

rain falls
like waterfalls
from dark clouds
rain falls
like tears
from the sky
shedding tears
for misery, for pain
for unsolved problems, broken marriages
abandoned children and homeless people
rain falls
like waves
washing the world