you use ******* to violate me
throw my body against pavement
that is too cold for my body  
I feel the numbness spreading entirely  
freezing me in place as I watch helplessly  
It's not like I haven't masturbated  
felt the tingle in different places  
that make me lean my head back in bliss  
this is different I'm not in bliss  
I'm in a company of a stranger who  
meets no end until his plate is
Satisfied by my naked body  
I wonder if I feel good  
I must if this is happening to me  
my body reaches for a hand to reach  
pull my soul out of this abused boy  
its raw
it hurts
make it stop
I'm seeing black spots  
my body is being taken away from me  
a delicacy that I cannot obtain  
you reach your hand further down  
into the very crown of my existence  
You're violating me in ways I can't explain
They're not tender either  
And I swear I've seen that young face of  
yours somewhere out here before

i potted a plant
In a tiny brownish ***
to where it could grow and grow and grow
i watered it everyday but to my dismay
it never even grew not even an inch
my tiny plant you see was actually me
an no matter how many compliments
you watered into me I would never grow
because i didn't believe in the sweet lies
That people tried to feed me
i was potted into a body that never succeeded
in life or in herself
my body was forsaken to never grow not even
when sunlight kissed down to reach me
My leaves never sprout
my soil never glistened with water specks
my bud never bloomed and sure enough
i knew i was doomed to never grow into
those beautiful flowers that shed their petals
i was like a dandelion and once you blow on me
im suddenly gone in the wind being carried out
into a lost world with a lost soul
i never grew to be pretty no matter how much
you watered me and stubbornly id never grow
to be like the other flowers who were too **** pretty
Im just a bud seed waiting to sprout but never
getting my chance to bloom so beautifully

my depression envelops me
suffocating me out of
my very own feelings
I'm trapped in a constant
state of self hate
I've lost control of what I want
or even what I feel
it centers me to the sheets of my bed
to where I can't even sleep
but always overthink
it pushes my loved ones away
only making room for it to stay
my depression gravitates me
to feeling like everyones against me
I cant breathe sleep or eat
I feel so alone but in my mind
theres only company for
my depression and I
if my hearts broken its never just left at that
my whole existence will replay that
moment like a video tape
always stuck on repeat
my depression sinks me into the
pills I swallow in order to properly think
it captivates me into a different reality
far too gone from the one I'm in
it's staying in my room while
the sun comes up and peaks
through my blinds but in my
mind I'm still stuck in a world
thats filled with night time
my depression causes lack of sleep
to where no medicine can revive me
my depression is a friend to my
mind but an enemy to my giving in body
without it what could I possibly be

Mondays
I'd warm a cup of tea
sit down quietly and start to read
I noticed you watching me
from afar your eyes caught mine
and I noticed the sunlight reflect
those light brown eyes
the freckles placed on your
cheeks so perfectly
your messy hair that didn't bother me
I noticed you too actually
sitting there quietly
with a book in hand and a cup of tea

I wish how we could have rewritten the stars to
makes two entities last forever until the sun came
up from resting and kissed the moon with white light
beaming in with yellow as the sky opened up
with colors that were hues of blue and pink
oh how we could've been the sky in all of her
untrained beauty
lets rewrite the stars in the sky
tracing them numbly as we position an outcome anew
I just want to be with you
but the sky has another way to say
it's just too soon for you two
I cant place the stars in a new constellation
but maybe if I wait awhile they'll line in
place and ill find you

Angry eyes
twisted in greedy lies
did you intend to lay your body on hers
twist the bedsheets so rapidly
Between her porcelain thighs
did you intend to stick your honey felt tongue
in the sweetness of her quivering against those
sheets that entangle two forbidden bodies
did you intend to drip your ***** into her
As she lay there desperately reaching for her
Colorful, blissful end
did you intend to betray the love that was once spoken
Into your body
That lifted you up and wrapped you around me so tenderly
did you intend to lie there breathless
an arm curled around her as your thoughts submerged
into an ocean of relentless lies you'd speak on your mind
i hope it was worth it in the end
Because our beginning was halted to a standstill when you decided to crawl in a bed that was not mine

it was 5 A.M  
and I couldn't sleep  
Because in the spot you used to be,
Lied silence.
Reaching over the chasm
which your body used to keep
My trailing fingertips  
Danced along the pillows where heads meet

it was 5 A.M  
and I couldn't sleep  
Because in the spot you used to be,  
There, lied me