loving them feels like the middle of summer, sticky with chlorine and and glowing golden from the sunlight. the type of days where it's warm even after the sun goes down, and the stars are always out, and i don't have to wear real clothes anywhere. it feels like summer campfires, where the heat is almost too much, and the smell of smoke clings to my sweatshirt even after i've gone inside. loving them is bright afternoons spent under the sun, them on a skateboard and me with a book, sunny and content and perfect. it's laying tangled together while the sun sets, trying to memorize each moment as it happens. loving them is the way they can turn me on in a second just by saying something or grabbing at a pillow or pressing their thigh in the right place, and the way i hate admitting it, and the way that they know it. loving them is every tiny affectionate moment; a kiss on the hand or a heart pressed into their hip or watching them instead of the screen. loving them is the hour they've spent looking for this account, and the hour i've spent listening to it. (loser.)