A tear falls to my pillow,
As I meander through my loneliness,
I'm not upset just cross and strange,
Shouldn't he be here yet?

I don't know what I've done,
To deserve this ache and spite.
Hasn't there been enough,
In the beginning of my life?

I fully understand,
The need to grow and change.
I'm in size 10 shoes now,
Is that enough to show my age?

Turning over,
And putting out the light,
I know I'll wonder,
Will I dream of him tonight?

Because he's the one,
That brings it all to an end,
The one I know I love,
But I haven't even met.

It's getting harder,
To not play the victim,
I feel my patience,
Is weakening to a dim.

Abandoned and lost,
And scared and angry,
Wallowing and pitiful,
And crazed with apathy.

Orphaned with no one around,
Forced to do it all with a frown.

You my dear,
You are the biggest fool.
Wake up you idiot,
Don't let him make you crawl!

I seek for it,
I hunger for it more,
I know it's red,
Or maybe more raw.
But if I feel I can't,
and I know that I should,
I'll stop looking,
as I know you would.
Because that's the reason,
and the why,
what I seek is in you,
and I'll stop the try.