You’re going to meet someone and he’s going to look at you the way you’ve longed to be looked at your whole life, he’s going to be kind and gentle. He might wink at you when you first meet or he might flash a shy smile as he walks away. Either way he will soon become the light of your life. He will make you laugh louder and smile wider. He’s going to stay over at your house and bond with your mum and ask you why your dad isn’t around. He’ll wrap his arms around your torso in the moonlight and whisper little secrets that only you know. He’ll ignite a fire in you that you didn’t even know existed. He’s going to take you on date to the beach when its 10 degrees and give you his jumper that smells of him. He will reassure you every thing will be okay. He’ll tell you he loves you for the first time and you’ll be able to hear your heart in your throat as you tell him you love him. He’ll see your body and kiss every inch of it. He will make love to you, again & again. He might be your first love or your third or fourth. He will be an important part of your life and you’ll want it to last forever.

But, he will also make you as frustrated at 4 in the morning when he is drunk and won’t stop calling you. Even more so when it’s the 3rd time that week. He’ll stat withdrawing from you, telling you he’s busy, with work or school. He’ll decide that its time you took a break because he can’t commit to you anymore. Might even start seeing someone else. Then he’ll call you for the 4th time that week and tell you that he still loves you and think he might always love you. You’ll believe him and go and meet him and kiss him until the sun rises. His calls will get less frequent, his kisses less passionate. It’s no longer making love. it’s just *******. You’ll be stuck wondering what you did wrong. And he’ll be hating himself because his pathological fear of commitment made him **** up the best thing that ever happened to him. He’ll tell you he still wants to be friends and you’ll agree because it’s better than nothing. And you’ll be sat two years later pining over the boy who took your breath away while simultaneously filling you with life.

Stop trying to remember his scent, he smelled like summer and reminds you of the time he made you laugh so hard, you snorted out milk on that dead, hazy day.

2. Don't waste your day trying to decipher what colour his eyes were, it'll only remind you of the galaxies and constellations that you once saw in his eyes

3. Stop trying to retrace the shape of his mouth in the middle of the night, you'll choke on your tongue trying to taste the mint he devoured seconds before pulling you in for a kiss

4. Stop reliving the times you clasped hands together, the glass plate will fall off your trembling hands.

5. Burn this list, admit that the galaxies and constellations shining in his eyes were wilted, the one in yours are bursting with fire. Remember on the dead, hazy day his laugh sounded like nails running down a chalkboard. Remember when you kissed, the weeds growing from his mouth entangled the roses blooming in yours.

Realize that one day, another boy is going to come and plant daisies where he left behind thorns.