Dead souls reprising the hollowed echoes of my suicide
Thumping inside the tunnels, marking sudden genocide
Lonely families gather around, witnessing a terrible act unfold
All the husbands have no jobs, keeping the children shiver cold

Gaunt and pale, sleepy and overtired, clinging to me
Making me think of our future and fantasies
But unfortunately, all of those things can never be
Because all I want to do is hang myself from a tree

I don't want to think about you and me
I don't want you to call me when you think you need me
I don't want you to visit my house  when you want to see me
I wish I was dead, but I guess I will lay here and sleep instead
Sleeping is less painful than having a bullet lodged into your head

Nobody loves you like I do
Nobody knows you like I do
The birds sing their faintest lullabies
Whenever the orphans begin to cry
The words you say have scared me to death
And knocked me out until there was no life left
The sonnets are now fresh and warm...
While the sun seeps through the clouds
The ending of the prolonged thunderstorm

You are the perils of turmoil.
You are the presence of my prolonged anorexia.
You are the windows with taped foil.
You are the reason for my Chlamydia.
You are the anger in my unholy punches.
You are the sadness of my forgotten loss.

You are the anger hidden in the hollows of my sour rotten skull.
You are the forgotten sunshine and daylight in my nightmares.
You are the glass I drag down my arm which has turned dull.
You are the reason for my sexually transmitted disease scares.

You are the man who rips my joyrides away.
You are the woman who stole my heart away.
These are the games we like to play.
So I feel like offing myself every single day.

You are the perils of depression.
You are the angry perfectionist
You are the sad and crying children.
Because you refuse to listen...

You are the poison hidden in the ice cream
You are the haunting evil in Satan's blackened eyes.
You are the child that your parents are missing.
You are the widow who continues to lie.

We lay aloft the coffee table
While the piano plays our serenade
While the priest is making amends with a man in the shade
That man must be part of some gimmicky charade
So he takes you out to the rose parade
And buys you candy and lemonade
Conclusion is that it's you that he has suddenly played
Another delusion has been made
We lay aloft the coffee table once more
While you try to impress me with open sores
While you try to give me more and more
All in all, you're a ***** *****.

It glimmers into the night
And it's such a beautiful sight
To fall in love with the illuminating light
To my dismay, the lamp has to dull the light
And you alarm me with your talk of suicide and mass ******
So, don't be so weak, go up and ask her
She likes you, you know
Because she has been staring at you through her window
Let her know you love her, she'll smile and return the saying
The oh-so infamous loveydovey relationship
Such a bore, I never have that kind of chemistry
How do you get such a long-term relationship
How does she have the nerve to cut you off
She has gone away, she's on the ship

Sudden flicker of the Bic lighter spark!
It's become the new generation's lost art
It's become a part of you and your heart
This rapidly growing disease would never go away
It will always come back and bite you the next day

Yet you cling to me, to cry and grieve
I would realize that I am all you need
You are holding my legs, slumped onto the floor
Your stories of past child abuse seem to pour
Onto my carpet and varnished hardwood floors
You are crying harder, you can't speak anymore


I am just going to push your pretty innocent little soul away
You are just going to throw me away tomorrow or the next day
I have sat here and listened to the delicate things you've had to say
And it's only been weeks, but it seems like agonizing decades

Jesse, don't go insane and end up killing yourself someday
You don't know how much I'd love to become an uncle one day

Jesse, don't smoke crack or become an hollow airhead one day
Or you will end up begging for cash on Queen West someday

Jesse, don't get stressed from school in the winter
Or else your moods and your thoughts will
turn rotten and bitter

Jesse, only fall in love with a woman you can trust
Or else some **** could rip your heart in shreds

Jesse, don't end up ******* with the wrong person
You could end up stabbed, you could end up dead...

Jesse, forgive me if I am making this too awkward for you
Sometimes I am encouraged by some of the things you do

Jesse, sometimes I am saddened with the way things are
But I know if I want to go to someone, you are never far

Jesse, I know we don't talk often
But thank you for being my brother

It is 1977, everyone is wearing the stone washed 501's
I haven't felt this way about America for months
Listening to Bowie with the smile on my face
Studying math and history at my own slow pace
The baby is crawling around the floor...
Weeing and cooing at certain moving objects
While the cat is being pet and being fed Chex
However that works, no idea...
He's an unusual cat, I must add...
Because when he got a bird, and it bled onto my plaids
I did not know whether to become enraged or plain sad
I breathe in and out
And stare out the window to stare at the clouds
Berlin looks so nice from here
I spent the whole night smoking Marlboro Lights and drinking my beer
Seeing soccer on my tele, all I can do is cheer
All my bad thoughts and horrible feelings suddenly disappear
Sally is saying she is turning her back on religion
And goes outside to feed the pigeons
She introduced me to ****** on Wednesday
And I shot up all through Thursday
Then Lenny got a job back in May
And because of my drinking problems, my wife decided not to stay
I went to court and now I have custody
My children will never be taken away...

[Note: I wrote this poem hours before listening to Berlin by Lou Reed, which has been called the most depressing album ever, they were right, but it can lose it's effect if you listen to it repeatedly...This poem is inspired by the album and it's elements and themes...]

You should clean the walls
You should mop the halls
You should have an abortion
You should cause extortion
You should break his heart
You should act less smart
You should **** kitty cats
You should keep rabid rats

You should commit homicide
You should commit suicide
You should plan demonic genocide
You should hit your wife, you should stab her with a knife
You should skin your children alive
You should cover it up with lies
You should retort to prostitution
You should check into a mental institution
You should become an alcoholic
You should become a drug addict.

You should, you should, you should.

And so you have finally found someone new
Does he look into your eyes like I used to...?
Does he cuddle up tenderly to you like I used to...?
Step along the stones, the sidewalk of peril
Sing him lullabies and Christmas carols...
Is he a mere placeholder or an imitation of me?
Does he like violence and staring at the sea?
Is he all you really need? Does he not see your inner beauty?
Mother may I, a sorrowful sonnet for two
Had I puked out my words, just for you...
While all the beaten ladies sit and pawn their hearts
To the husbands who'd beat them
Inside the fancy shopping mart
Fractured noses and lacerated arms
Now your words will do me no harm...

At first, I caught a delusion...
Of what simply needed to fade away
The paperboy comes here with his pay
And seems to stay here all day
He signs all my documents with a rubber stamp
And brings back my drugs like a champ
Temporary placements...
Deciding not to burn out
I went outside to hear my neighbourhood's point on doubt
All of them had varying opinions
And each one of them had to shout
I smiled and said "Don't shout, don't pout!"
I was determined that it would never happen again
And now the same person comes here with a blood drop on his lense
He said he slipped and fell and cut himself on the sharp edges of the fence
I told him to use soap, rinse and cleanse

Lenny! Smile for me!
He does so, the grin on his face
Better than his cries of despair or just subtle disgrace
He sat down, on the beaten up woven couch
Took out five cigarettes from his pouch
Halfway, he stared at the television, I knew something was wrong
Lenny has not been like this for so long
I nudge him, filled with worry
He smiles at me and reassures
Walks outside to look at the birds
I sit outside on the ***** couch, he tries to jump off my roof to get a kestrel
I laughed, told him to get off
He spent the whole day looking at this moth
It had such vivid colours and it appealed to me
Then I tried to catch it with my hands, it just had to flee
I watched it fly away into the dust and the air
Lenny burnt himself again, a sudden act of despair

They always come here, two in two
They're always dishonest and never true
When the sudden logic has come to you
Cut the cord, that's what you're supposed to do
Haven't you got a clue
If it's anyone I'm in love with, it's you.
You're not here anymore, talking to me has become a chore
I've become a wreck and I'm now a bore
But it's you who I will always adore
You're not here anymore and that's okay
I never loved you anyway
Because I've finally grasped onto some of the things you say
That one faithful night that evolved into the day

Sheila will rise above and haunt you
For all those bad things you always do
And you'll sit in your chair, not have one ******* clue
You can't even comprehend what she is saying is true
The anger from her spits from her mouth
She's yelling and she's shouting loud
She's absolutely tired of what's going on now
You try to meet me here,  but you are not allowed
She doesn't allow what we have together anymore
She doesn't like what you have in store
She wouldn't allow your excessive drug use
Though she'd cry for your stories of child abuse
But Sheila will come back some day
And tear your precious little life away

A lit candle illuminating the room as shadows darken the walls
The little schoolboys and schoolgirls chatter loudly in the halls
The smell of pumpkins, uneasy cold air, in this season of Fall
Woman, recoiling away from my unholy punches of Satan

Simon's inferno has begun!

There would be men robbed at gunpoint, children being stabbed
Cats and dogs are being skinned and women being grabbed
Elderly man is sobbing, wanting to die once and for all
I shall end it all for him, no teardrops shall fall
My stormy disturbed  eyes reveal it all...

The men used to be strong, for now they are weak
These skies of an unholy red, continue to cry it seems
I must go home now, let me out of this dream
Satan's sadistic smile continues to gleam
To the cries of women being *****
And the children continuing to scream

Suddenly your switchblade would slash the person's throat
Put the knife in the person's hand and write a suicide note
You would dance along tiled floors, and re-paint the red doors
You spend most of your nights shoplifting at dollar stores

Gaunt and pale, you still lurk in the stark distance
You have always scoffed at the conformist's existence
You'd rather walk along the busy bridges and highways
And contemplate suicide with a sad look on your face
You'd rather drink the night away, and complain
While other people are having fun and getting laid

But I see myself in you, this misunderstood shadow
We are variations of Van Gogh, everybody knows
Teardrops drip off of our noses, no one gives us roses
I wouldn't paint you starry nights, but a reflection of me
No one else, my cold blank blue eyes staring back at me
Your cold blank blue eyes staring back at me

I wish I wasn't so crooked
Jumping and leaping over things
And keeping secrets to my dark heart

I wish I wasn't so flaccid
I feel sulphuric acid
In my throat
I close my eyes and I see photos of burn victims
Clinging to their only infant children as they
gasp for air, they are riddled with confusion

Unfortunate life.

I am my own baby, I cling to my ****** as if it is some product of the demon.

I'm free! I'm free!
I'm free from all the abused which surrounded me
I'm free...

There's a sunset at the horizon, I can see...
I now know nothing is wrong with me
Because I'm free! I'm free!

There's children playing outside
There is a happiness I can no longer hide
And all the feelings that hid inside
They're free, they're free...

I used to love you
But now the feeling has changed

I used to kiss you
But now you just turn away

I used to *******
But we're far away now

I used to hold you
But you're not close anymore

I used to hug you
But I don't love you anymore

I'm so in love, my heart has darkened
I've finally found what I've been looking for
And now it's her I truly love and adore
I'm glad I've found you
You're so adorable...

I'm so happy, my heart is finally happy and beating
I'm so glad it's the love of my life I'm meeting
I am filled with such joy, I feel so young
You will never know the songs that
The birds have screamed and sung
Outside the windows of my heart...

Oh my, I've been listening to Radiohead again
I cannot wait until you come to my apartment
And then we can go to bed again
I see everything in a pinkish-red hue
I thought it would never happen
But I am so dearly in love with you

I bet if we knew each other better, and our skies were blue
You wouldn't have left me, and I wouldn't have lost you
I bet if I said all of my words right and tucked you into bed every night
We wouldn't be arguing on the phone and we wouldn't need to fight...

I bet if I went back in time, and changed everything
I'd keep you under my wing, and to your ears I'd whisper sing...
I bet if I changed everything, I'd have you here with me today
And everything would be better and soothing that way

I bet if I kept my promises, and never ever lied
Then you would've never went with another guy
I bet if I was more stronger emotionally...
Then I'd be all you really need...

I bet if I told you I love you everyday
Then you'd think you're more important
But all I have now is mere empty wishes
And I just really wish you would've stayed...

I guess you just got a broken heart
I guess you just got a broken heart
Even when you deny it all at the start
I guess you just have a broken heart

When the skies grow dim and your girl has left you
And you wallow in your sadness and there is
simply nothing you can do
You rely on me, but what am I to do?
When you won't even let me get through to you?

I guess you just got a broken heart
I guess you just have a broken heart
That stupid miserable **** just had to hurt you
And now you cry to me because that's all you can do...

You come and you cry to me
With every ounce of insanity
And now you cannot trust me
*******, I helped and I attempted, you wouldn't let me
You could not handle the tone of sincerity
How dare you, how ******* dare you spit upon me as if I am trash
And burn me until I am nothing but a heap of ash
I spit upon you, you arrogant *****
With the salty razor blade you constantly lick
And attempt to swallow so it can slash your insides
And you go outside to fly your ******* kite
Which I bought with my money, when I could tolerate your *******
I'm done, I am simply frustrated, **** all of it...
And you attempt to con me out of the words, how dare you...
I will **** you before you **** yourself, it's not worth it to be suicidal when you have someone as powerful as me
It really is
That's all there is to it
Another brick in the wall has been hit...

I'm broken
Beyond repair
I'm sick of sitting in this broken chair
I am tired of looking at the tele and having to stare
I'm sick of it all, why can't I end?
Is there some radical party I must attend?
Beautiful people are all over the place
And stare at me with utter disgrace
Because I'm ugly and I was made this way
Why can't I just take my life and go away...

I've had to build walls around my true realities
So ignorant people like you could never hurt me
I've had to put up barb-wire fences, around my heart
So beautiful women like you could never break me
I wish I had more plans than all those people
So I wouldn't sit alone in this tall steeple

I'm so ******* lonely, too ******* lonely...
Out of everything, you are in the heart of no one
And nothing...

Ghastly towers, overlapping shadows onto another...
It depresses me so much, all too much...
I miss being cuddled, but I miss being touched...
My skin growing pale, my eyes merely a deeper shade of blue
I wish I could fix myself, turn into something new...
So that way, I'd be perfect for you...

The scarecrow scared my nightmare away
Dreaming of flying in the air, like an airplane
And running through endless deserts, and never stopping
Even when beads of sweat are dropping

The rotten, decomposing core of all my yesterdays, seeming to go away
I can't remember what you look like anymore, and you've seemed to change
Your looks are changing, growing grim, just like mine
I've got to get myself together, back into the narrow line

Dreaming of you, is all I can do
To let out all the feelings I have for you...

Believe in me, for I'm not dead yet
Let me tell you more lies instead
I'd rather soothe and comfort you this way
Then tell you I'm going to **** you someday

Love me and worship me, for I won't leave you yet
Isn't it lovely how your brown eyes watch the sunset
I will kiss you and love you and give you sweets today
And then I will tell you I love another woman someday

Annalisa, you have forgotten me
And left me with a shred of hope and dignity
For years, I had to fend for my own
I've had to feed myself and clean my hair with a comb
I will always come back to you but I don't know when
Because I always have constant demons to defend
I cherish the moments in vivid Technicolor
I get weak to my knees and barely speak to one other
You told me a lot of useful things that I will use in my later career
If I go down that destined road, things will be all clear

There is someone living inside of me
They are my darkest peril
And they are trying to destroy me
I wake up from my dreams, and it's pitch black
It's darkness, that I can truly see
It is a reflection of who I can be

But I sit up, and look into the distance
Realizing that there was nothing I missed
In the real world, not anyone or anything
Not the bluebirds outside my window that sing

Nothing.

I hate myself, I want to **** myself, I wish I was dead
Depression and anxiety make me sick in my head
I don't think the real me exists anymore
I think something has taken over me
And my thoughts are not as happy anymore

Everybody run, Simon's got a gun
I'm always wondering why I am here
Always having no one isn't fun
I don't know what my purposes are
For being here, either I've yet to find out
Or my purposes are nonexistent

I'm merely a slave to society
And I'm here to breed and that's all
And kiss women in the rain at Fall
I'm not what you really need

I guess I'm okay, even after you said all the things
That you had to say
I guess I'm okay, even after you refused to stay...
My heart is broken after what you did
But I guess I'm okay.
The suicidal thoughts remain to stay, won't come back another day
I'm battered and bloodied and scarred, but I suppose I'm okay.

Who the **** am I?
Why am I living a lie?
Who else can I run to and trust
While the intentions unjust?

Who the **** are you?
Are you just another person I can sue?
Why are you speaking to me
When all I want from you is money?

Who the **** are they?
They'll put me in a loonie bin...
Who else can I trust and turn to
When everyone is stabbing me with pins

Heaven is such a beautiful thing
The cherubs come out with the birds to sing
I must be in Heaven
For I have not made myself ***** with sin
Nor have I threw my past loves in the disposable bin
Simply honest, I am
And all the baby angels are done eating their strawberry jam
I am in euphoria, I've met and shook hands with Mary
And picked the clovers of the tree which grows cherries
Euphoria is all I need...
I am a very stressed person, I cannot comprehend
The feelings I show, and try to mend
I cannot compute anymore
Thinking has become a total bore
So walk out the ******* door
Because you're reading this, and you want more.

(Whatever, it's a bit of a "public draft", I've been away for a while, that's all...)

They have gasped upon us
We've given them hope, pain and lust
The only ones who we've given them trust
Have thrown us away, have swept us like dust
Yet when they've gone away, the preacher will sing
"No more pain and sorrow, they shall bring!"

They are so gaunt and skinny, forgetful and trustworthy though
Some are women, some are children who've lost their toes
He runs with a smile, that's not in denial
And brings the elderly to a scattered pile
He feeds them and keeps them clean
Washes their hair and scrubs their feet
For once they smile, they are finally free
Because of them, their lives are complete

I'll remember when you were standing alone on the streetcar
I'll remember when you were laying down and looking at the stars
I'll remember when we looked into each other's eyes
I'll remember when the day you finally said goodbye
I'll remember cutting my hair for you
I'll remember the **** you put me through
I'll remember the day you told me you loved me
I'll remember the night you sat and cried with me
I'll remember the afternoon we sat by the old tree
I'll remember you when I'm old and rotting, and gray
I'll remember the time when I begged for you to stay
I'll remember everything we've talked about today
And soon enough, it will all become yesterday...

I'll be happy as a kitten when I leave depression
I will no longer have to cry out for overbearing attention
No longer sulk when no one understands
No longer feel the want of holding a hand
I'm getting more mentally fit, I'm reading books
Buying flowers and hanging clothes on hooks
My life is changed around, everything is subtle and new
But I need help from a lot of people, from them and you
To get me through this horrible mood, to show me a new view
I should be allowed to share my thoughts
Send roses and forget-me-nots
This will never happen to me
Because I am being oppressed mentally
And I am being forgotten relentlessly
I hardly utter a word in this gigantic city
I never shake hands with the giving tree
Depression, I will never get through this
I will never get to experience my first kiss
So I will lay down, and read, sleep in bliss...

She flops over quietly aloft the floor
Begging for me not to beat her some more
Her little cries for help, I just ignore
Because loving her has become such a chore
Tears down her face are so crystal clear
Like the fourth of July every year
Like the shards of the smashed and broken mirror
But while I hurt her again and again
You all cheer

My wife can scrape my brains off the walls
She can shoplift inside of the malls
She can mop up the ****** mess I've made onto our floors
Empathy, it is what I can never have
I am not happy nor am I ever glad
Shapes into shadows, vast upon my walls
I can hear the shallow distant calls
She paints blue and red onto a child's skull
Make it seem bland and weak, so dull
This flower she has given me, it has decayed
Like me, she never stayed
But now I have a gun to my head
And shortly, I will end up dead
With only a paragraph in the news
Let the world know I have been forever used
Into a world of ***, drugs, and magic
The bullet in my skull is where it's going to stick...

The stars are cast above us every night
And they play their old charade
Of glistening in the twilight
Needlessly, you have to drift from me
And make me ponder in disbelief
I won't give you my grief
Because my love is all you will need
Wherever you go, you will lead
My body to the room where you will leave
You don't have to hide, you can look and see
Those little flaws that turned them into me
You seem so tormented
I've grown so demented
I'm done with writing a clichè haiku
I'll give you something new

They sit, dead at the table, one slumped over after the other
The man in the suit, I have not seen him before
Must he have seen me from the shadows under the door
I was quiet, I'm certainly sure
In terms of speaking, he only uttered one word responses
I did not mind, then he hung himself in my closet
Shattered, broken, I was
But I had to laugh
The entire scene was daft
Or at least it was to me
The old man's shotgun sits under the roof of my mouth
My life is filled with such doubt
I don't believe in another day
Since everyone has left and passed away
Now is the time, then was the time
Of holding hands and embrace
I just wish I had never seen your broken face

The police will follow you home
And finally arrest you and make your life monochrome
You'll be in a jail cell all alone
With no conversations on the telephone
You can hide behind stormy eyes
But it surely won't cover your disguise
In the shadow of ignorance, we all go to our homes
Where the mice crawl and the rats roam
You're in the car, looking at the November stars
Wondering how you got this far
You want to go home, you want to go back
And sit on your couch, drinking six packs
You want to go soon, you watch to see a show
But everyone knows who you are, everyone will know
That you're really not a friend, just a sad foe...

You've left me here with an undercurrent of doom
For me to fend on my own and live through a gray shade of gloom
You only try once and throw me away
To places where I hide and will always stay
Father, I forbid you from seeing me this way
I'm usually not myself these days
Don't ask me where I'm going, don't ask if I need help
Because like many other things, you'll just toss me onto a shelf
I don't see things too clear anymore now
I sometimes do things that I am never allowed
I'll never miss you when I go
Even when I'm buried deep into the ground, six feet low...

They dance around the old wooden barn
While they chase the cats with a spool of white yarn
They ask me to read them this children's novel
About a young male, about your age, who was just like you
He tied his shoes like you
You probably never had clue
The fact is, you never thought of this
It was just a skeleton in your old dusty closet
Which you kept behind with the unbreakable locket
For whatever reason, you have never given me none
So you preach your words of sadism as if it is for fun
But you avoid the illusion that he was just like you
He had eyes like you
He even spoke in a clear and loud voice...just like you.
Like you...
But the children want another story and they are tired of my *******
They'd rather **** and do drugs and simply deny it
I cry sometimes for them, those poor *******
So why can't I ask her?
Because she's just like you...
Needs that are unadjusted, like you
Because I like you...
you, you, you.

You seemed so afraid when you left my charade
And was suddenly so aspired when you picked up the blade
And mutilated yourself until you couldn't mutilate anymore
You bled onto that white shirt I wore
It's not your fault that he's become a *****
But the television he is being exposed to more and more
He will never forget your lies
And you can't do anything about it, so stop shutting your eyes
Because maybe someday, you will realize
The pain and suffering you've caused
And in so many ways, you've broken all of the laws

People are always telling you to keep your head above the sea
Because there is always going to be that special person you'll meet
Then how come they have theirs, and not me
She must be so bleak and bland just like me
She'll always look at me with a face of gloom
And a sudden undercurrent that's spiked with doom
But if we meet five years from now
This relationship, this bond, would your husband allow?
Because I know he's proud and so happy now
Because he loves you, so I'll die in my cloud

When your life is in the dumps, just forget about it
When you see me on the news, simply ignore it
While the roses are blooming, don't just walk way
Today is a brand new feeling, and a brand new day
But when troubles seem like thunder and no shine
Just simply smile and everything will be just fine
Since you're too lovely to be sad, don't you know...

When you're weeping over my ashes, think of a happy tune
You're not the reason for all this, don't sit in sadness and gloom
It's not your fault anymore, why can't you see this?
Just stand up, brush the dust off, live in sudden bliss
Out of everyone in the world, you're the one I'm going to miss

And when there is lacerations on my arms, caused by self harm
Just smile away, and think it's just my lovely charm
Because there's nothing better to do than just stay at home and starve
But for today, with the rain and such...
I'd rather just take my arm and simply carve...

"And people talk about love, and they're painting pictures of...
Someone's pretty side, I look myself in the face, and watch the worlds collide...
And watch the world's collide
Watch the world's collide" - Elliott Smith.

You are an beautiful person with a upset frown
You are standing on the ledge, about to jump down
Into a world of gray and black, with no sound
But, I know how it feels to be in this place
Your nights may seem as dark as your days
So don't be sad, let me see a smile on your face
If you act upon your actions
You will truly be lost without a trace
I promise to you that I will be kind
You can tell me anything that's on your mind
It's happiness that you've yet to find
You can cry to me if you feel this way
Then you'll be happy the next day
You will be filled with relief when you have said those things
Because I know depression, and the pain it can bring
Every now and then, I am just like you
I am seeking a way out, a way to cut through
We can keep this between ourselves, me and you
In the morning, you will feel good as new
Because you found a caring person to talk to

For they asked for a thrown haiku
I had given them a sorrowful sonnet
I wanted to say all those words
But instead I've pawned it
But yet I forgive you all for creating this mess
This fear and anguish, anxiety and stress
Words glued together, but not shut
The final marking, the final cut
What was once said can never be changed again
Put on paper, to this faithful lover I sent
I thank you again for making me secure
And making me think for years that I was unsure

Sometimes I cradle myself, but I can feel myself lurching and stumbling towards a new decade.
Sometimes, I tell myself not to join them, but I can see myself falling victim to their charades
Sometimes, I hurt myself, but I always end up healing
Sometimes, I hide myself, but I always end up needing
Sometimes, I lie to myself, but I always end up apologizing
Sometimes, I fall in love, but I always end up realizing
That the one I deeply love has always been lying
And then I'm the one who always ends up crying

Sometimes, I stand still and shut my mouth, but yet here I am still trying
Sometimes, I starve myself, but I can always feel myself rotting and dying
Sometimes, I can see children playing alone in parks
And worrying their mothers by staying out at dark
Sometimes, I call out to the distant and faint figures
But in the end, I'm always shouting to a mirror

Sometimes, I can feel myself drifting away
Sometimes, I have nothing better to say
Sometimes, I think it's better that way
Sometimes, I think it'd be better if I went away

Love has been in the air recently
But I can't feel it touch me
For the reasons I know
Because my sense of love has turned into sour loathe
They cleanse their children in the bath with exotic soaps
And they have a closet to put in the children's clothes
I can never have children, I am way too blank
Because I don't have enough money stuffed into the bank
Marriage seems easy to many but for me it's become difficult
Because some girls don't like boys who act like adults
I just wasn't made for these times
So I'll sit alone with my cold strawberry wine

It's not me standing there
It's not me who's stroking your hair
It's not me who is staring to care
So don't call my house, I won't be there
There are some days in which you don't play fair
Stub cigarettes onto your arm if you dare
You always used to say we were the greatest pair
But you always hide from me and never share

To feel you touch me is so delicate like rain
But when you leave, I would never feel the same
To feel us kiss in the bright morning sunrise
And to protect your heart where my love hides
Beautiful person, what is it that draws me to you
I think it's your beauty and your adorable laughter too
But darling, it's you that I would never want to lose
Those beautiful eyes of yours, they make city lights envious
I just know that nothing can ever become between us
This is more cliche than I thought it'd be
I've wrote this words on lined paper
And these words I cannot speak
I miss you today, I wish you'd talk to me
Because all I can think of is simply you and me...