Ultimate preservation,
A cleansing of the spirits,
Keeping a pure soul intact,
Bandaged but unhealed,
Bandaged but mortal.

A cycle of emotions that I don’t comprehend,
One feeling has passed and another descends,
From anger to sadness to fear and frustration,
To loneliness and madness, grief and devastation,
You lose a friend, a lover, a child, a relation,
The feelings of mourning create horrid sensations,
I’m chilled to the bone by my feelings of hurt,
I kneel and pray with my hands buried in dirt,
I try to drag you from the ground back to my side,
The soil is sludge from every blue tear I’ve cried,
As I cope with missing you someone else will depart,
I hope I’m prepared in my heart; prepared for the cycle to start.

A sense of peaceful abandonment,
An emptiness,
A hollow shell full of isolation,
A place of refusal,
Refusing closest consolation,
A moment in life of loneliness.

A time for that painful reflection,
For recalling,
A crowded mind with nothing to think of,
A place to see your face,
See your face whatever I dream of,
A flash of time in life; loneliness.

A shining white beacon on such a black day,
Lighting up the heart from the coffin where you lay,
Delivering a positive feeling to all who kneel and pray,
A shining white beacon on such a black day.

Embalm my soul if you can,
So that the world may keep preserved,
The inner-workings of a troubled man,
Who suffered as much as he deserved,
For I struggled and fell,
Sometimes I soared up high,
As they ring my last bell,
Keep my soul from learning to fly,
Embalm my soul if you can,
So that the world may comprehend,
The inner-sadness of a broken man,
Who suffered for those who can’t defend.

It’s a horrible thought,
Dying alone at home,
With no one to come rushing to my side,
It’ll be printed that a local man died,
Found three months later,
Holding the picture of mater,
Like a cheese that has decomposed.

I held it and read it,
Over and over,
Words that broke my heart,
Date of birth,
Place of birth,
Date of death,
Place of death,
Closed a chapter with the harshness of a slamming door.