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SIi Mar 2011
I’d write about nothing
to describe what’s life changing
Take a mood and call it
A million things
Maybe too beautiful,

But mostly too much

I write to feel more
Of myself
By writing for another
While trying to not
Express things worth losing
That I keep with myself
through writing

But mostly it’s not enough
SIi Feb 2011
For what ever my idea of love is
you were its first step.

Before you I lacked the clarity,
moments to be shared with others
naked, and uneasy, yet ready
both of us were equally bare.
With unnoticed feelings
we appeared to share.

I was prone to sweat
and you to run so far

Your way with words
my miss spelled errors
neither could equally meet,
we left with deep pockets
of emotional warfare.

I ended up in debt
you had money through the ear

We had only our dreams
of what we wanted
wanted each other to be

I cared the way I could
and apart of you cared

I loved the way I did
and apart of you loved?

I spent months flipping sides
walking on edges splitting my souls,
realizing I had only taken my first step.
All rights reserved by the author
SIi Jun 2011
I came, I lied, I learned to do both and better
Poked at people’s smiles and made some myself.
This was college, I woke, I drank, I explored
Stared at girls, got caught, stared at myself and got fatter,
Smoked, laughed, and refused to throw up.
Walked to class but I did not go through the door
Turned around happy, dizzy and hung over
Outside, Gazed at the sun and forgot I was one.
Ignored my phone, fathers calls and mother
Spoke up my lies, tied lead to my feet.
Met a beautiful demon girl and did some lines.
Woke up again to ***, naked letters, I went to the beat
Listened to music, made some of my own
Wrote poems that rhymed too much, sent them to her
Drove my car on weekends running away with miles
Visited her, the demon, it made me smile some more
More ***, she gave me pills, and we cuddled
Alive, long and strong. She gave me love letters
She broke my heart cheated and ran for cover in France.
I lost my mind my grades, no love for my body
My hands, I still had some rubbers and No one left.
I used them once that summer
More coke, ****, pills, I hung out with friends
Thoughts of suicide all the lead the lies
Thought run away, die, run away, die
Luckily I had friends.
SIi Mar 2011
If I could be written
How wonderful,
Rather to be the writer
Struggling.
A piece of ink and emotion
Hopefully noticed,
Or even better
A piece of bliss
Understated,
Written by someone
Who gets it.
SIi Mar 2011
I like you some days
There were days when I liked you a lot
I liked the elation of the plot of finding out
If you liked me too.
I liked how you liked putting your hands on me
I liked grabbing them
Even thought they were so ruff
I liked it all too much so I stopped.
But I kept a spark
I always did that with girls after I liked them
After it was too much.
I kept the spark I have for you incase it could become a fire
At more than just my will.
But I never liked the sparks I kept
But yours it keeps my will.
I like the spark I keep for you
.And I still always like you
SIi Nov 2010
I miss you
Poetry.
You brought
Feeling
Through me.
As I wrote
You
To a page.
Or read
A piece
We once made.
I would fill
With ease
Then empty
All my ink
And time
for you.
now I weep
to touch
your words
Through
A pen.
All rights reserved by the author
SIi Feb 2011
I’m not a graceful mover but I have my words with me,
I’m no john Keats, but I can still write to you sweetie,
I saw the way you walked up to me, questioned with your eyes?
The way I watch the world. You asked me, and I was surprised.
I can’t say I’ve been here too long, but I was wrong for going through,
I should of stopped when I was 16 the world was much simpler and new.
*** was great, condoms were cheap, and I didn’t need to dance.
I had the world under my pen, and a girl with it to romance.
I’d push the ink and like that I had a life to show.
With love that would guide me, with a place to go,
Now I have three sets of stairs to my make way to my room.
One for each year of memories that I have lost.
One day ill move on to the fourth floor to catch the moon.
And I hope you’ll be there to question me,
You seem to be the last bit of reality
In this world of emotional debt,
I’m no great writer,
but I have you, to move the words in me.
All rights reserved by the author
SIi Mar 2011
My fingers hurt
their bleeding?
on an empty screen.
drops of words
I never type in time
I only think of them
20 minutes late
20 minutes later

My lips numb
it's bleeding?
it has no
use anyway,
I only say useless
remarks
and they're all
the same

My temper is like
my faith
gone and just
a bunch of lies.
my time is something
I don’t want
to write about
it’s all been planned

I guess I’m looking
for more?
a new word
after another word
more laconic
than what most
could think
to use.
SIi Mar 2011
My castle has gutters
and windows with right angles.
But they don’t make me feel well,
because they're not perfect,
Just a slush of mathematics
That don’t have an echo
Of the poetry.

If the world would let me,
I would take them off.
And sleep somewhere else
wake up to watch the inside freeze.

I can’t make the plants grow
since I leave my cigarettes half un-ash-ed
Sometimes they catch fire
and redo growths delay.

My castle has gutters
and I leave it without a soul,
So I can’t be the one to claim
the mistakes I’ve made.
with lonely days.
SIi Mar 2011
Nothings like the movies
is like love.  
Love isn’t what we see on a screen
it doesn’t happen that way.
It just brings out feelings,
some times we like them
the right amount,
others days we try to fit them to our lives
to play them, like our eyes see inside that little screen,
or maybe
that grand view for a screen.
Were small inside
our brains our hearts
smaller than our two closed fists,
it’s a wonder how feelings fit
inside them.
Our feelings
there smaller than the screen.
And people still act out there lives and play
to meet a scene, that could
bring out feelings as big
as the ones we feel when watching a movie.
Love was made for action.


Now
Ready
CUT.

And the screen is gone, and the world is in front of you
SIi Apr 2011
I have a guitar,                                      
There’s a missing string.                      
It snapped in                                          
my fingers,     And in the silence  

I looked up
hearing someone sing,

She had a pretty face
but did not notice me.

I shaped her voice into
my fingers
to be felt by their ring.

Her sound missed the notes
that came from her pretty face,

together we could leave
or play off our missing chords,

and for the silence
she had a pretty face.

I strummed into her
I swear I tried,
to play her into life,
I was a chord shy
SIi Nov 2010
**** on me
Little bird
**** on me.

I see your blue wings waving
As you soar above me
Or maybe you’re a robin
But that’s all you have on me,

Besides the **** you leave.

So **** on me
Little bird
****.

And in my pocket you will see
A gun with my name
And my face in front
The triggers fame.

So **** on me
little bird
Prove my life isn’t far
From your behind.
All rights reserved by the author
SIi Feb 2011
Sweet flower covered
I feel your blossom is falling for moments
When I am there.

Your hands maybe ruff
But they are soft when they touch me
And they touch me often.

At first in all sparking romantic ways
And I thought sweet flower
Is falling for moments with me.
Time came and your blossom stayed
And so did my fall
Your hands grew more ruff and powerful
And each touch softer to me.
Then clear in passing air
Your touch became more than your hands
You laid your blossom next to me
And I let my fall my hands
touch you when you were there.

I knotted myself sweet flower to you
A knot I thought I can undo.
All rights reserved by the author
SIi Apr 2011
I wish to lose
My current self, the I
In every one of my senses  
In the page.
Without shaping the unlined
White columns of endless space
And possibility
Where I may come to find
My own absence
The same when I am not alone
SIi Apr 2011
Today I stopped smoking cigarettes
I decided, looking at the sky
I was thinking about your smile
And how I’m already breathless

We were sitting by our open doors
Two feet from our two worlds
Filling the in-betweens with smoke
Clouds, through I would explore.

— The End —