SIi - Hello Poetry

SIi Jun 2011

I came, I lied, I learned to do both and better
Poked at people’s smiles and made some myself.
This was college, I woke, I drank, I explored
Stared at girls, got caught, stared at myself and got fatter,
Smoked, laughed, and refused to throw up.
Walked to class but I did not go through the door
Turned around happy, dizzy and hung over
Outside, Gazed at the sun and forgot I was one.
Ignored my phone, fathers calls and mother
Spoke up my lies, tied lead to my feet.
Met a beautiful demon girl and did some lines.
Woke up again to ***, naked letters, I went to the beat
Listened to music, made some of my own
Wrote poems that rhymed too much, sent them to her
Drove my car on weekends running away with miles
Visited her, the demon, it made me smile some more
More ***, she gave me pills, and we cuddled
Alive, long and strong. She gave me love letters
She broke my heart cheated and ran for cover in France.
I lost my mind my grades, no love for my body
My hands, I still had some rubbers and No one left.
I used them once that summer
More coke, ****, pills, I hung out with friends
Thoughts of suicide all the lead the lies
Thought run away, die, run away, die
Luckily I had friends.

SIi Apr 2011

Today I stopped smoking cigarettes

Today I stopped smoking cigarettes
I decided, looking at the sky
I was thinking about your smile
And how I’m already breathless

We were sitting by our open doors
Two feet from our two worlds
Filling the in-betweens with smoke
Clouds, through I would explore.

SIi Apr 2011

the I in every page

I wish to lose
My current self, the I
In every one of my senses
In the page.
Without shaping the unlined
White columns of endless space
And possibility
Where I may come to find
My own absence
The same when I am not alone

SIi Apr 2011

She will be loved.

I have a guitar,
There’s a missing string.
It snapped in
my fingers,     And in the silence

I looked up
hearing someone sing,

She had a pretty face
but did not notice me.

I shaped her voice into
my fingers
to be felt by their ring.

Her sound missed the notes
that came from her pretty face,

together we could leave
or play off our missing chords,

and for the silence
she had a pretty face.

I strummed into her
I swear I tried,
to play her into life,
I was a chord shy

SIi Mar 2011

If i could be written

If I could be written
How wonderful,
Rather to be the writer
Struggling.
A piece of ink and emotion
Hopefully noticed,
Or even better
A piece of bliss
Understated,
Written by someone
Who gets it.

SIi Mar 2011

laconic

My fingers hurt
their bleeding?
on an empty screen.
drops of words
I never type in time
I only think of them
20 minutes late
20 minutes later

My lips numb
it's bleeding?
it has no
use anyway,
I only say useless
remarks
and they're all
the same

My temper is like
my faith
gone and just
a bunch of lies.
my time is something
I don’t want
to write about
it’s all been planned

I guess I’m looking
for more?
a new word
after another word
more laconic
than what most
could think
to use.

SIi Mar 2011

Nothing like love

Nothings like the movies
is like love.
Love isn’t what we see on a screen
it doesn’t happen that way.
It just brings out feelings,
some times we like them
the right amount,
others days we try to fit them to our lives
to play them, like our eyes see inside that little screen,
or maybe
that grand view for a screen.
Were small inside
our brains our hearts
smaller than our two closed fists,
it’s a wonder how feelings fit
inside them.
Our feelings
there smaller than the screen.
And people still act out there lives and play
to meet a scene, that could
bring out feelings as big
as the ones we feel when watching a movie.
Love was made for action.

Now
Ready
CUT.

And the screen is gone, and the world is in front of you