the only ones for me are the Lost Ones
the one's who wander through life
hearts heavy with strife
who tiptoe along
on the edge of a knife
between bliss and the abyss

the only ones for me are the Bad Ones
the ones who rise and set
like Sad Suns
over and above mountaintops
of the young

the only ones for me are the Crazies
for whom the path ahead is ever hazy
but who still find the time to be lazy
sitting around, making chains of daisy

the only ones for me are the Fallen
who drift on the wind
like specks of pollen
floating on and on
in search of their calling

the only ones for me have Loved and Lost
for only they know the true cost
of allowing your emotions to be your sole boss

the only ones for me conceal
so very much of what they Feel
afraid that intimacy may reveal
what lies beneath their thick outer peel

the only ones for me need time to reflect
and often times, they also deflect
the advances
and the chances
which might allow them to connect

I live my life
for the jolts and tingles
the prickling of skin
and the involuntary wrinkles
I live my life
for instances of bliss and euphoria
the experiences that floor ya
for the moments of clarity
when I make plans with sincerity
whether or not accomplishment,
may indeed be a rarity
I live my life
for the sensular shudder
of the feminine other
for the flashing and thrashing
and skin-tingling flutter
for those shots to be made
without use of a putter
I live my life
for new connections and epiphanies
for misdirections and the mysteries
for all the questions without answers
like, why does life give you cancer?
according to the state of california.
I live my life
through a miasma of sidewalks
and ticking clocks
through drunken walks
and forgotten talks
for the chance of a Win
and the inevitable balks
I live my life
sometimes for him or for her
in sin or while pure
and without hope of a cure
for the human condition
"the human condition?"
you know, when the world says,
"assume the position!"
and your teacher says
"are you even listenin'?"
I live my life
for zoning out and finding Rules to flout
for the workings of my mind
the ability to rewind
analyze the times
and uncover the blinds
I live my life

they go shuffling by
heads down
gazes locked on the ground
some even wear a frown,
as they go shuffling by.
rain or shine
they trudge through the daily grind
just like me and mine,
they go shuffling by.
plugged in
turned on
and copping out,
they go shuffling by.
this mental enslavement
to lines of pavement
leaves me wondering
why?
why do they go shuffling by?
not a glance at the sky,
or a friendly passerby
who might stop to say,
"HI."
while they go shuffling by.

I feel a vibration, deep in my bones
as if my being was composed
of coiled metal springs;
pushed down,
and down,
and down,
compressed to an unnatural flatness
an undesirable rigidity
an unhealthy madness
and a post-poned delivery
but, under all the pressure
all the weight
under all the stressors;
I still vibrate.
a buzzing, whirring, and building imbalance
is this because of caffeine?
or time spent as an E fiend?
I must ask myself,
what does this buzzing mean?
is it hyperactivity,
a blocked chakra, or three
did I choose this energy
or did it choose me?
so I write to release,
to find inner peace
this pen my therapist
this page the couch
with each stroke I care less
and let go that inner grouch

I'm a conceptual being
I tend to view the world in shades
that most people have only ever seen
while in a dream
and when I try to explain these thoughts that stream
nobody ever seems to fully grasp what i mean

when I take that deep breath
and dive into the depths of my mind
often times, I'm afraid of what I might find
in those dark recesses,
those thoughts of that girl in her summer dresses
I'm still searching for that touch and those sweet caresses
for someone who I can help clean up their messes
that broken winged bird
that i could fix with a word

but this desire to save
to halt the crashing wave
can I really pretend
that it's not me I'm trying to mend?

raised in a way
not to savor the day
not to lay in the hay
or just play
but to
pay
pay
pay
caught in the gears
of these soul crushing years,
I feel Helpless
and so I turn to that sweet kiss
of chemical bliss
to experience some
of what this cage makes me miss.
I can't remember a time
where I wasn't in Line
rank and file,
won't you stand and wait for a while?
Do this.
Get that.
Do that.
Get this.
cause and effect,
a lifestyle that leaves
very little time to reflect
on what you're actually doing
every day,
this pattern cannot stay.
Apathy invades the hearts and minds
of our kind,
brought on by an inability to change
or even rearrange
this world that's become
so Strange.
Despair,
in the face of such a menacing machination.
Fear,
in the face of such an unfeeling application.
Behold the Beast of progress,
never to rest,
created by man,
driven by our hand,
fed by our compliance,
sustained by our reliance.

my mind feels like it's cast out to sea on a line,
bobbing back and forth over the waves,
I resign myself to ride the tide,
these churning crests
do little to caress the stress inside
anticipating the Bite,
the moment to actually put up a Fight,
I hold tight.
My knuckles clenched,
the smell of my own fear an overpowering stench,
coupled with the realization
that there's nothing I can do to wrench
myself from this course,
of looking over and over these pages
that look more and more like Morse