Every night,
When sleep eludes me and my thoughts turn dark,
I stare out my window at the blue moonlit street,
And in my mind I imagine myself walking
Down the sidewalk, across the road,
My hands shoved in my pockets and my collar up
To shield me against the cool wind of the night.

I can see myself walking for miles—
I know every twist and turn of the pavement by heart—
Until I’ve reached the edge of town,
This town that has ripped me to shreds and burned the pieces,
And I know that I’m so close to freedom…
Just one small step over the city limits,
Into no man’s land.

But it’s just a silly daydream, I tell myself,
Back in the prison I call reality. Yet
I can’t help but wonder what would happen
If I were to one day walk out the door, not just in my thoughts,
Without a word, without an intention of ever returning.
Would anyone look for me?
Would anyone cry or miss me?
Would anyone even care if I disappeared forever?

She watched the clock and traced the bruises that peppered her pale skin
She counted the days till the end and kept track of her every sin
When the sun was up, she was a lamb: lovely, kind, polite
At night she was a lioness, with a quick and vengeful bite
She drowned in wine and whiskey, and a cigarette here or there
She wasted her time with silly boys, but to love, she wouldn’t dare
Her life was short and meaningless, but she refused to give up control
Until that tragic midnight hour when the sadness took its toll
So that night she finished her drink, and with God, she made a truce
And without looking back, she gave herself to the loving embrace of a noose

Your eyes were red, as if you had coloured them with a crayon,
And they gazed into mine with such intensity that 
I felt I couldn't look away.
Words spilled apathetically from your drowsy lips,
And they crept all around the room, filling my nose
With the smell of mischief, and my ears with the sound of defeat.
You were hallucinogenic, and morbid, and giddy, all at once.
And you leaned down towards my ear, laughing 
At your own clumsy delirium. Your lips tickled my skin as you spoke,
And your words filled my heart with an aching sensation of hysteria.
You leaned down and murmured,
"I hate when people whisper sweet nothings to me."

I want to feel your silky hair tangled in my fingers when we kiss.
I want to feel the weight of your head resting on my shoulder when I hug you, or, even better, when you hug me.
I want to feel your nose barely brushing mine, because we’re standing close so that our faces don’t quite meet, but our breath has become synced.
I want to feel your warm lips dancing with my own, or gently touching my forehead right before we say goodnight.
I want to feel your arms holding me tight against you, in a way that makes me feel, for once, that I’m not alone in this cruel world.
I want to feel your hand, locked in mine and squeezing gently to remind me that you’re still there.
I want to feel your feathery fingertips, placing my hair behind my ear, or softly rubbing my arm when I feel anxious.
I want to feel your shoulders supporting me when we’re watching movies and I’m too tired to keep my head up.
I want to feel your stomach and your hips touching my own when we make love, or when we just stand in each other’s embrace for hours.
I want to feel your chest beneath me, slowly moving up and down as you dream, when I’m restless and using you as my pillow.
I want to feel your legs barely touching me as you move in your sleep, and your feet getting tangled up with mine when we lie side by side in bed at night.
I want to feel all of you, anywhere in the world, anytime of day or night.
I want you.

hazy smoke escapes your velvet lips,
and fire melts the snow in my lungs.
together, we begin to float.
your eyes turn into eclipses,
and the world turns into a carousel.
let’s go for a spin.
as we rotate around the sun, the air
turns into candy, and our breath
tastes like the universe.
we fall to the ground and laugh, and
i rest my head on your chest to listen
to your midnight heartbeat.
soon, our buzzing brains will lull
us into dreamland, and this night
spent among the heavens will
be nothing but a sweet memory.