The password we always use
The recurring dream
our favorite type of abuse
our self-esteem

What we are hungry for at midnight
What we feel bad about taking
whose hands we hold too tight
whose heart we are breaking

i am gradually
starting to lose feeling in my toes.

Is this how people begin to die?
slowly at first then all at once.

Sometimes if you stand really still you can see we're all losing our grip on the world.
death by death
see where the line between human and ghost begins; human flesh turns into dead ice cold skin.
cut by cut
see when they become so light that gravity cannot hold them down.
earth to earth
and they drift away, weightness since they have no hope to weigh them down.
dust to dust

round and round we go
through the relentless flow
life's so fast it gives me vertigo.

and if I'm just a tiny particle
why can I feel my soul
being devoured by a black hole.

melting into mush
the ice cream cone
a party hat
crushed

ants
begin to gather
small black sprinkles or bugs?

how quickly the treat is forgotten
abandoned for scavengers
and the shoes of passer-byers
to oblivious to change their path

my parents came to check on me
i quickly shut the lights
turned off the TV
everything was black so they knew I was alright

my parents came to check on me
i threw the bottles in the trash
took out the bags
everything was empty so they knew I was alright

my parents came to check on me
i did all my homework
smiled happily
everything was normal so they knew I was alright

my parents came to check on me
i should have told them that
my life is gray and
everything is not alright