When I'm alone I think of all the things you did to do me wrong, I think about how the best choice is to move on. I think about how much I love you but the effort & spark is gone. How I'll never be the same because your arms were my home. That's when I start to panic wondering what the future holds. So use to living life with you, not alone. I always had you to depend on, you were my backbone. You picked me up out the holes I emotionally dug, then filled them up with your comfort and love. I just don't understand how you could do so much, just to turn around and **** it all up. Biggest question is when and where did it all go wrong? Were you putting on a front all along? Now I'm in my head contemplating the past non stop, because I still love you but I don't know you are. I look into your eyes and end up lost. I miss you all the time even when your by my side. Thinking of the days you were loyal and treated me right. I wanna believe you when you say you regret it all, that you want me, only me, that your willing to move forward even if we have to crawl. Truthfully I'm scared to even get back up because I fell so hard. I thought I always knew how it felt to have a broken heart, until the day we completely fell apart. It was pain I was unfamiliar to, weird because pain was all I knew. The most mind ******* part of it all was how this new pain was caused by you. The only person I had in this whole ******* world, that was suppose to love me and fight away all the hurt. You knew all my problems, you sat and listened, told me that you truly understood and willing to help me solve them. You kissed my scars and your love kissed my shattered heart. I trusted you, I finally let down my guard. I let you in and gave you a key to it all. I handed you my heart in a box topped with a bow, because I was convinced you could handle it, I let you gain complete control. You promised on the rainy days you'd except me as I was, you'd hold my hand and wait for the sun. I never would of thought that you would ever allow such disaster to form, after I found out what you did, I couldn't cope at all. Under the pressure I finally said **** it all. I've felt the depression and coldness countless times before, only, those were the days you were right there waiting to catch me so I couldn't fall. This time it was different, you crossed your arms and shut me off. Rough and rude you destroyed me, I became violent to protect myself and destroyed whatever was in my way. I was hit in my home with no where to go. I didn't want to cry anymore, numbing my feelings with hopes to die inside. It wasn't peaceful, it wasn't right. I wasn't able to stop, I couldn't, I didn’t know how. Often thought of you but then that just encouraged it more. Stuck in the middle of the cyclone that helped me fight & rebuild my walls. Hurricane heartbreak is what I'm called. Isn't it so ******* crazy how it started though? I guess I can’t blame you though, should’ve known better than to trust, it was never love only lust. Now I’ve got a hurricane in my head, heart and soul. Beautiful disaster, heartbroken hurricane messed up my world.