I had poured myself empty
I've quenched my thirst
and now,
I've got nothing to give
nothing to show
I've proven, I've learned, I now know
I can only give so much of myself
now I self-preserve
nurture what's left
protect my core
heal.
forgive.
revive.
and stand tall like nothing was lost
*just gained.
just gained.

Come to me.
I am an actress you see.
I can love you the way you wanted to be love
treat you the way you wanted to be treated
seek home in my embrace
seek warmth in my bed
seek love at the cliffs of my lips
Do you fancy sweeter?
Do you want space?
I can give it you see.
I know what you want
because like you, I need love too.

Come, my lover
I am nothing but, a picture of happiness
You have summoned me, out from the pages of your fantasies
out from the imagery that sprung from folds of your idle mind
smile, laughter, glisten on my eyes
I'm the breath of your lost youth,
I'll offer you nothing but paradise
I am nothing but paradise

Come to me, tired and already bowed down
I'll quench your hollow well with life
two in two, we'll paint a picture of fantasy
I with the brush, you with the pencil
let's paint it red with passion, yellow for happiness
blue, orange, purple
we'll make it our rainbow escape
our kaleidoscope heaven.
I'll call you the sweetest names your ears are begging to hear
so sweet like sugar plum,
so sweet you can taste the air with it

Come to me, my baby
let's make this few hours together last forever
lets make memories like classic movies we're addicted on
aren't we good?
aren't we so believable,
Two foolish old kids we are...
Our rendezvous always sweet and short
Quick to pack up, and eager to remove our masks
We can only play this role for awhile
We can only pretend for a limited time.
We both know we can't keep up with the stage
With the gleaming lights, and billowing demands of our wants
always on our toes, our make up, thick and pale
The you and I in the we, are not fools, just desperates,
but never
numb,
deaf,
blind,
dumb,
numb to the dead beating of our hearts
deaf to the silence of our sorrowed souls
blind to the lifeless glisten of our eyes
dumb to know what you and I very well know...
You and I know there wasn't any We to begin with
You and I know what we made,
You and I know who you and I are even before this
You and I know what is staged and what's not
When the curtains fall, and our shoulders finally slumped and feet flat on the ground
Tired, oh but how I know how relieved you would feel.
You go back in the life that you know, and so do I.
You sleep alone, wake up alone.
live , breath and weep alone.
Being real, alone.
I know all this you know.
Because much more than an actress,
I am a human too, who like you,
needs true love too.

I see you.
If I can't, then I feel you.
You are that ALWAYS, and NEVER in every lover's promises
that blank stare when loving words go flowing down your sweet tongue
sublte as you can be,
but I see you alright.
I see you in dim room as if it's our backporch during the summer days
I see you in every twitches of the eyes,
sense you, you're the lump in the throat,
the stammers, and the stopping of the heart.
like yellow to black, like day to night.
There's no use hiding...
I see you.
I feel you.

Bring me back to love
to the love that is true and pure
the only one that my heart recognizes
the only one I feel truly satisfied
the only one that matters

Waves, please cradle me back to that shore
to that shore where I had found peace
tranquility, acceptance, and truth
There I'll take root
There I'll flourish
Expand, Abound, wide-eyed, arms wide open
I'll fly like I've never flied before
way, way up in the sky
like Phoenix shooting high up through the clouds
until you can't see me no more,
only in the darkest of nights will I glisten along with the stars
eternal, beaming, happy, immortal
I'll be one with the universe
back to my destiny
back to where I started,
with the stars...

*But for now, please bring me back to love...

He has risen from the ashes of my obsession of you.
He whom I've met months ago,
seemed to me I had met a decade ago.
He also has your dark skin complexion,
that same dark skin where the moonlight was dancing on the very first night I saw you.  
I was 18 then, cautious shy, insecure, and you,
you were the moon reflecting my rays and
I, the sun, beaming in the delight of the sight of you,
the butterflies in my stomach and slanted lights on your face,
both dancing to the rhythm of my heart.  
Tugging me in, pulling me down.  
You just happened to pass by then not knowing that my world went still  for you.  
That night I knew I fell.  
You didn't even catch me,
but how can you,
when you didn't even know.

I remember I saw you walking miles away from me,
yet clear, and zoned in,
I saw how angels might have blessed the ground you walked on,
light, glowing, flowing.
your strides, they were long, slow,
my breath short and shallow.  
It was then when I confessed under my breath that I was in love with you.  
But with you being miles away,
how can you even hear that.

And now, I see a reflection of you, his essence in you.  
This time, tips on tips we touch.  
flesh to flesh we merge.  
He can only wonder what drew me to him.  
He doesn't know it was you.  
Two men--- one who had held my heart, the other my body,
both I cannot  seem to have,
both I cannot seem to truly love.

What is this fiery heat that beckons me to you
for what is this when the heat is from the flesh and not from the heart
should I be flattered?
should I be glad?
as we glided through the hours
you clumsily dropped that 3 letter words on my lap
each word poses a stab to my heart
for I knew, just like the heat it's nothing but just fleeting emotions
like wordless love letters,
hollow, like your empty glances,  
you look at me, I see my listless soul through you
blank, distant, cold,  
you stared out at the taxi's window opposite to me,
such stranger to the warmth we shared minutes ago.
and so you confessed what I already knew
**for what is this passion when we have skulls in between.