Shevola

Shevola Oct 2013

Deleted

Floating around a magic land
Our world, idealised and fantastical
Unrealistic reality
Of which we are fanatical

ly- Craving the glow that warms our greeds
That electronic heart
pulse
That life that can be sliced apart
Rearranged and made
false

The smiles overshadowing empty eyes
The hands on the hips make slim
The figure of this silhouette
And the figure that lurks within

Pixels of a
true
smile

evaporated from this world

Verify?
Verifying...
Delete.

Shevola Oct 2013

Fallen: Leaves: Nothing

And so my cheeks
reddened
And the sky fell
into darkness

And so the leaf
reddened
And softly swayed
into the ground

And so you fell
from my life
Leaves
leaving branches

And so I was left bare
Cold
No covering
Alone

And so you fell to my feet
Leaving
But not entirely.

You took your leaves
For me
To nourish me
To feed my roots

One day I will have grown strong
I will grow new leaves
I will understand.

Shevola Sep 2013

Christmas List

'I'm a good girl.' Long lashes flutter
'I... Haven't got a present yet.'
Tripping over words, you stutter.
As you worm your way into the gifter's mind
Poking with pens until you find
An atom of suspended belief
To which you cling with raptured relief
Thus pouncing upon helpless prey
Pleading. Can I, Please, Can I, May
I have this. It's all I want.
This  list, it stretches heat strings taunt
Because the Christmas gift you supposedly 'need'
Is me,  from a pit of passion to be freed
And then you deliver the parting blow
'Lots of Love,' You sign off...
And go.

On Christmas Morning I deliver
Myself
By Boxing Day
I'm back on the shelf

You possessed me,  you didn't care
Too busy writing the list for next year.

Shevola Sep 2013

Untitled

We lay together.
So you were a liar.

Shevola Sep 2013

(FAT)

I think of this world all day
When I open my mouth, I've nothing to say
Nothing to take this word away
It's clinging, it's hanging, it's here to stay.
(fat)
I think of this word at night
Is it why you can not hold me so tight
It promised and pleaded to make things right
So why do I lie rigid in fright?
(fat)
I think of this word inbetween
Insane as though it may seem
It haunts my each and every dream
Pulls life apart at the seam
(fat)
I think of this word when I'm with you
I say I'm fine
(it isn't true)
I need you
to STAY
to guide me through
I'm sorry
But really,
I do.

Shevola Sep 2013

Art Class

Sketching faces with chalky ink
On a page empty blank
Into lines, into lies
I have again sank

Tracing features with weary eyes
Learning how they flow
Into life and onto faces
And how your smiles grow

I learn to shape those upturned lips
to create a seamless smile
Forgetting false falsetto all around
This now away I while

I want to sketch you into moments
Into movement and time
I want my pen to introduce you
Into my world, make you mine.

ALAS
My pen does not possess this power
And your eyes are distant real
3D is painfully not art,
In that form,
I so want
I can't
make
you
feel.

Shevola Sep 2013

UV Scars

I smooth a frown line on this skin
constant suggestion of a sin
Lightening hearts and caressing fingers
stubbornly still it lingers
Reminding me of the piercing rays
of his smile and that haze
of rain that fell in her eyes
And your feelings that you shroud in disguise
as nothing.
They're under an invisability cloak
And her face is hidden in a heavy smoke
And I had searing sun and enviable tan
But sweet summer fades and leaves me no man
or beast or beauty or being at all
It's just me. And this mirror gazing on the wall...

I need to heal, where should I begin?

...with the damage I did to my skin