these new personalities keep popping up
and i can't seem to distinguish which one is the real me
disturbing flasbacks of childhood memories long forgotten to keep my mind safe

and another that will choose to act upon its own....

You Used To Be... A Shadow
Lurking... Behind Every Single Thought Of Mine
And Yes, I Admit Now That I Was Fooled And TriCked By Your
Pessimistic Ways And Values
And Yes, I Was And Still Am My Optimistic Self
It’s The Only Way I Can Handle Day To Day Living
I'd RAther Remember You The Way I THOUGHT You Were
Than To Realize You're The Complete Opposite
BUT! The TRuth Is What I Seek And That, It Self, Will Quench My Thirst
No Matter How Deathly The Poison Is
Or How Sweet The Nectar
...I Must Taste Whichever It Will Be

A Stranger Who's Weak And Powerless
October's Moon, Which Awoken Me From My Sleep
AND A ROTTEN Core

All I Ask For...


IS



Closure And UNDERSTANDING
So Mote It Be

This Hatred Grows Within Me
How My Mind Was Envaded And Plagued
With His Malnourised Words

**** Me For Being So Easily Fooled

I Can Recall Every Single Conversation Spoken
And How I Wanted The Words To Be True
Was It Nothing To Him After All...

Was I Just His Pet?

Melting Alive
His Scent is Like A Drug.
It Entices me So....
The Words He Spoke
And I Wanted Them To Be True
Betrayal By Kissing Another In Front of Mines Eyes
With No Sign of Guilt On His Lurid Face

i kept alive if only for the walk home
when i went into my chambers
i let the lementing began
why did i write the words
and why did i say them
i've fallen deeper into my own prison

Then Came The Angelic Face I've Been Waiting For...

CONSUMED BY THE ******.
HANGED BY THEIR SINS.
THEIR UNMISTAKEND FAULTS.
AND YET, NOT ONE SOUL CLAIMED.
THEIR WORDS BROKEN AND SEWN BACK
TOGETHER WITH THEIR DISEASED FANTASIES.
THEY WERE ***** FOR THEIR PLEASURE.
DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE?
WHO ARE THEY TO JUDGE
WHAT IS REAL AND WHO
FINISHES THE DEED?
ALL IS LEFT DECAYED

asphyxiated thoughts.....these diseased memories.....contorted blindingly.....vitality all gone

twisted and lost in warped memories....im only destined to fail
i walk amongst the outcasted.....blending in beautifully
i am 'perfectly flawed'
a vermilion mask worn to please
they suffocated what was left of me
turned away in the time of need
why won't someone help me
i am on my knees, begging
'these scars need to heal over'

CONSUMED BY THE ******
HANGED BY THEIR SINS
THEIR UNMISTAKEND FAULTS
AND YET, NOT ONE SOUL CLAIMED
THEIR WORDS BROKEN AND SEWN BACK
TOGETHER WITH THEIR DISEASED FANTASIES
"TELL ME, PLEASE TELL ME IT AIN'T SO
HAD TO BELIEVE IT SO I WALK ALONE"

UNREPORTED CRIMES OF ABUSE
UNHEARD CRIES OF THE WICKED
WE ALL LOST OUR WAY
JUSTIFIED BY THEIR CRUELTY
WHAT THE HELL IS LEFT FOR ME
A DREAM DESTROYED
"ALL HOPE HAS BEEN ABORTED
INSIDE IM DEAD"

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE FOR THEM
SCORNED WITH TRUTH
I BLAME THEM ALL
I COUNT THE MANY TIMES I WAS LEFT ALONE
WANTING TO GO WHERE I FELT WARM AND SECURE
THANK YOU FOR NOT SAVING ME
"CAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DOG
YOU CAN'T SEE MY EMOTION"

Let Me Stay There....
That Place In The Back Of Your Mind....
Let Me Rot In Your Arms....
The Place Where I've Laid So Many Times Before....
Let Me Die For You....
That Place I Will Go To....

Another Attempt To Feel
Lost In All The Lies
Why Did I Have To Fall?!
This Beast Refuses To Subside
This Will Just Have To Suffice

"You're Too Weak! You Will Never Amount To Anything. Just Give Up Already."

Let Me Stay There....
That Place In The Back Of Your Mind....
Let Me Rot In Your Arms....
The Place Where I've Laid So Many Times Before....
Let Me Die For You....
That Place I Will Go To....

Please Don't Let This Be Another Mistake
I Don't Want To Crawl Up Into Another Ball And Die
I Wish I Could Have Been More
2 Songs Given, And 1 That Will Never Be 'Heard'
No! I Don't Want It To Consume Me!

Let Me Stay There....
That Place In The Back Of Your Mind....
Let Me Rot In Your Arms....
The Place Where I've Laid So Many Times Before....
Let Me Die For You....
That Place I Will Go To....

I Was Your Siren.....Your Outlet.....Your Burden....."Your Just In Case"

Torn Between A Phantom And An Unfledged Adolescent
Its Always The Same

A Little String To Pull Me Along
And A Frayed Veil To Control Me
Whatever The Case, I Am Your Insignificant Stray