Forlornly I will rest
in this melancholy nest,
that hums for me the tune
of my beloved doom;
and as the clock’s chime
bears heavy on my mind,
I will swim to you
in a sea of new
one last time.

All I know of you
is the love I had for you
when I fell into this dream.
You were beautiful,
the way the sky turns orange and pink
at the end of an exhausting day -
slowly revealing a sky of starlight
that has taken years on end to reach my sight.
There was a sudden pull -
whether I toward you or you toward me
I'm still not sure -
but I know it was there.

You were swaddled so tight
in a blanket that bowed to your beauty.
Warm, needy eyes peeked
from behind peachy little eyelids,
laying full trust in my hands.
Before I knew it,
you were gone.

They took my baby.
Her name
is a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
Their words are
branded on my face -
"Ma'am, please sit down.
You're not being rational."

"There is no baby."
There is no baby,
but I feel her.
I feel her like a twister
pulling me in,
but I've been put in restraints.  
Regardless of the ache in my bones
begging to be with her,
they've locked me up.

I am detached from reality.  
Everything is wrong.
No one can tell me where she is.
They act as if
my eyes are turning to goo
and sliding out of their sockets -
avoiding eye contact
in fear of sympathy rising in their souls.  
They stay on my trail,
dabbing away anxiety
as it seeps from my pores -
hoping I won't see or feel it.
I smell their fear
as I pace back and forth,
brainstorming my escape.

My dear Astrid,
where could she be?
I feel her tugging at my heart,
begging for a heroine.
Adrenaline is burning through me -
screaming at my body,
demanding I run for my baby
find my baby.

And my dream ended.
I've spent every day since then
looking for my baby.
I feel her in my heart.
Maybe she's real
and maybe I'm crazy -
either way,
I will never forget
my beautiful, stolen, and forgotten
daydream baby.

I know you don't know this
but that's why I'm writing it.
When you called me baby girl last night,
everything inside me that's felt dead
came back to life.
It was like you breathed life into me,
like god did to Adam.
Even if you didn't mean to
you just created a whole new world.

The closest I can
get to you is
  the farthest I can
get from here -

the farthest I can get from
  these dreadful Columbus clouds
that protect me from
the unknown,
  the lonely cornfields that grow
and grow, but
only grow lonelier.

But I like the clouds that
blanket me at night, keeping me
  warmer than you ever could.
And I love the way the sun
rains orange and pink on the lonely
cornfield, and the way the cornfield
soaks it up and saves it
for another day.

I could love you if
  you could love Ohio's cornfields
and cloudy days.

You invade my space,
Making my eyes tear up
And my lungs burn.
You even make my mind dry.
Taking you in becomes so easy,
It becomes effortless
Like one swift drag,
You become as simple
As one swift drag.
And then
Everything you are
Spills out of my body
And clouds all around me.
I lose you.
I lose me.
I look at the world and see
Peace.
I see so much love
Flying everywhere.
I can feel it.
I am lost in it.
I am lost in you.

I can feel the trees breathing.
I can see them
inhale our blemished truths,
pulling them deeper and deeper
until their souls are filled with fantasies.
I can see them
exhale all their dry, dark worries,
trying to force them out,
but the power embeds
in their lungs,
deeper than the fantasies can reach.
When I watch them
I can feel them breathing their worries
right down my spine
just as I've breathed my blemished truths
into their souls.