Are you happy?
or are you fooled by a fake happiness
a superficial type of happy
are you happy from within
or are you just happy because the world says you should be
because other people expect it of you
because nothings really wrong with your life
you have no reason to be sad
but does that mean your not?
I'll ask again
Are you happy?

The sadness behind her eyes,
behind her lips
her words
her disguise
the suffering
the pain
the anguish
behind her mask they simply vanish
all hidden from the world
which sees what it desires
does not look deep
does not recognize the fake smile
the fake
"I'm fine"
which covers the true misery within

no one knows
no one cares
ignorance is everywhere

Sometimes my phone doesn't register my touch
And I can't help my mind from wandering to the thought
that maybe my phone somehow senses
the numbness in the fingers that touch it
belonging to someone so empty
Maybe it somehow knows
the person using it is not full of the warmth of light and happiness
But feels dark and dead on the inside

The thought comes
The thought goes
And all that is left is merely a glitch in my phone

I hurt you.

You are in pain.

It is my fault.

The pain of these truths rings in my ears
Makes me sick to my stomach
I cry to myself
All day and all night
I can't help it
I cannot stop
Wallowing in a depression that seems impossible to escape
And yet

It is I who hurt you
I who caused you pain
Me
What rite do I have to be upset?

I love you

Your pain
Is my pain
When you hurt
I hurt

And this unbearable misery,
Self inflicted tribulation,
Is amplified for it comes from me
I am the wicked one who afflicted you with grief
I
The one who is meant to love you
How contradictory
To hurt someone you love
Someone who is your world and your everything

Why?
How?

It was not my intent
But it was the result of my actions none the less
Therefore, my curse
Tho you may forgive me
God willing
For you love me
I cannot forgive myself
For I do not love myself
How could I?
I caused tears to drip down your face and sobs to escape your throat
My enemy has hurt my love
And that enemy is
I

I love you
I need you
I hurt you

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I am so sorry