This anxiety,
makes my heart flutter at his
slow reply. Waiting.

I crave his letters
locked inside a mocking screen.
Let me see your face.

Please let me hear your
voice. Your face so close to mine.
Feeling your colour.

Learning everything.
Time with no limit, no strings.
Pockets of soft words.

Every word we want
to say. I do hopelessly
love every small thing.

I want to take a gulp full of air as my head hangs over the edge.
I want my hair to stand on end and goosebumps to appear all over my skin.
I want my rapidly beating heart to burst out of my chest and fly off into the wind.
I want to see so much land, so much space that I can't breathe.
I want my tears and sobs to turn into melodies you'll hear in the distance.
I want candles to go out on their own.
I want the wind to stop blowing.
                                                    The trees to stop twisting.
                                                       ­  The flowers to stop whistling.
                                                      ­         Keep the bugs from crawling, the birds from chirping.
                                                       ­               I want my throat full of words so it will pour from my lips and drain onto the ground from my agape mouth.
I want my eyes vacant and my shoulders to slump.
I want darkness and light to collide above me, and I'll never see it.
I want to feel small.
I want to feel big.
I want to be here and hidden too.
                                                            ­          I want every inch of me inspected with a fine toothed comb.  
                                                         ­                  I want every part of me accounted for.
                                                            ­                    Music all around me.
Every where and no where.

My hair keeps falling out. I brush my hair every night and look at myself in the mirror.
All I can see are tired eyes from a long day.
What I feel is a heavy heart inside my chest making me hunch my back.
I continue to comb the brush through my hair and my hair continues to fall in clumps around me.
I look down at the discarded strands and set the brush down.
I feel empty and cold, yet everyone says I'm warm. My heart still feels like its gaining tremendous weight. I pull my shoulders back to keep from falling over.
I turn off the lights and lie down in my bed. Its chilly beneath those covers.
Soon it won't matter because I'll be fast asleep and inside a dream. The only place my heart feels weightless.

I see him kiss with ferocity, his lips moving away from his teeth and towards her mouth. Her eyelashes flutter as their faces meet and their lips lock together, fitting perfectly.
His hand raises and he brushes her hair in between his fingers.
She scratches her nails where his short hair and neck meet.
He rests his smooth hand at the bottom of her back and pulls her right against him.
Although the passion and hunger seeping out of their pores is prominent...
          love is expelled
                     through their eyes.
Love gnaws from their hearts
          and continues to chew them up...
                     from the inside.
For now they'll have that moment.
          Later they'll begin to decay
                      
                     Rot away...
                      

                     Because of the love they share.
Raise to the sky their chants of love



                     and loathing.

I imagine a
world with flowers, just flowers.
Writings on walls all

Around me. Every-
Where I see beautiful land
Scapes, enough to make

You sit and stare for
Hours. Stars in the sky all
The time. The sky is

Not just one colour,
Its many. The sun stretches
And the moonlight drips

Into waterfalls.
I look around and sometimes
See hazy paintings.

Just texture and paint.
Together, married in this
World I created.

Take your drugs, whatever.
Pick your poison, any kind.
Choose your weapon... Now.

She tries to make her voice sound like silk, maybe she succeeds.
I know what her real voice sounds like and it makes my ears bleed.
Walks with a swagger in her hips and doesn't look back.
Attempts to stride away from all the qualities she lacks.
Glowing, eyes like the spot where the storm meets the sea.
Who is that girl? Who could she be?
Looks familiar, swear to god... I think its me.