You're absolutely and utterly the most arrogant, cynical, self-absorbed, human being I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.
I think grudgingly as I stare at Facebook.

That feeling of longing I had only a moment ago was fleeting,
Replaced by distaste.

How could I have ever had an inkling of feeling for you?
All that time I spent on you was a such waste.

I bet you don't even care,
Forgotten about me like I was never even there.

It's like you don't exist outside of our college,
I wish you could have gave me that knowledge.

Because I wouldn't have had to spend all that time caring,
I wouldn't have had to miss you.
I wouldn't have had to wonder if you were okay every single day.
You could have at least answered me when I sent you those texts.
But you didn't,
And I did miss you, I did care, and I did wonder.

Now all I feel is resentment,
But I know tomorrow I'll miss you again.

This is ridiculous.

She was walking in the middle of the night,
On the sidewalk in front of a gas station.
When a familiar face crossed her line of sight,
"Impossible!" She thought.

But there he was in plain view,
Just the same as he used to be, pumping gas.
Yet, she didn't know what to do.
As she walked away she said to herself, "He probably didn't recognize me."  

So, she set out on a mission to see if it was him,
And sent him a message.
This was all on a whim.
"Yes, that was me. I didn't see you!" He replied.

He told her he was disappointed he didn't see,
And asked how she had been.
She smiled at the computer screen,
"I'm great, maybe you'll get a chance to see me again." She typed.

A summer fling,
Brought together by a late night walk and the need to get gas.

I have written you so many letters,
That I will never send.

They tell you about the days we shared,
And the heart I had to lend.

Intricately weaving webs of passion,
Something I had to defend.

Because there were those awful moments,
Where I felt it was all pretend.

I wrote to you in earnest,
About the feelings I had.

If you read these letters,
I'd imagine you'd be mad.

You told me not to feel that way,
You told me not to fall.

I told you that it could happen,
You didn't believe me at all.

We were supposed to be platonic,
But something in me swayed.

Looking back, you were gaming,
It was how you smiled when you played.

You could never lie to me,
I could always see right through you.

In that moment you so gently kissed me,
I saw you falling too.

Now that it is over,
I write to you again.

About the love I had for you,
My handsome silly friend.

And how it fell apart,
How it began to bend.

Another letter I have wrote for you,
That I will never send.

I'm young.
I fall in love.
A lot.
And no love is ever the same.

There was my first love,
Whom I will always love,
Even when we're worlds apart.

The boy who took my heart in his hand,
And began to poke at it.
Sometimes with a feather, sometimes with a pointy stick.

He who I try to forget,
But remember for the memories we created.
The crazy moments we shared.

There's the love who wants to marry me,
Who maybe I could settle down with one day.
But not now.

My future loves who I will tell stories of,
My next great adventures,
People who will shape me.

Love in which I will have for my children one day,
When they become the light of my life.
That will surpass anything.

Love for my dreams,
My career,
My life.

Everyday I fall in love,
Not always with a person.
Sometimes it is an idea, a dream, a book, philosophy, the way the sky looks.

Everyday I find something to love,
Because I still can.
I hope I can spend my whole life falling in love.

She looks at her reflection,
Everyday.
And everyday she finds something she wants to fix.

Scared that she might go back.
To eighty pounds ago.
Scared that losing eighty pounds wasn't enough.

She exercises,
Everyday.
And everyday she feels too tired to function.

Hoping that she might look "normal,"
A term that is so vague.
Hoping that one day she will feel okay with herself.

She stares at that mirror,
Everyday.
And everyday she wonders why she's like this.

Wondering why she can't feel comfortable,
With her own body.
Wondering why she isn't proud.

Because when she looks at that mirror,
She sees flaws she can't fix.
Everyday.

Some find peace in music,
Others in quiet places,
The arms of friends,
Or the heart of a lover.

Personally,
I find peace in bad decisions,
Failed confessions,
Telling stories.
Those moments when I finally have reason enough to feel.

I’d rather be lost in the city,
Without any map
Or idea where I am going,
Than be stuck in a small town where everyone knows each other,
And every day has the same consistency.

I just want, for a short time in my life to get away.
I often times imagine myself in places like wonderland,
Where nothing makes sense and it doesn't matter to.
Where anxiety is a pointless thing and having tea is the priority.
But, then I have to remember that even wonderland had its own “rules” its own flaws and maybe one doesn't truly ever escape.

I guess that’s the beauty in life.
You have to learn to deal with what is difficult for you to handle.
Each experience is kind of like a fairy-tale in its own sense.
You have demons you need to fight, evil men and women to face, and if you don’t back down and push through you may have a chance to be happy.

I knew you were poison.
Toxic as the cigarettes you smoked, and just as addicting.
I tried quitting you over and over.
Pacifying myself with other addictions,
Like coffee.
But then I learned why coffee is called the liquid cigarette,
It has the same taste but it isn't quite as satisfying.