Breath in
Bed squeak
Sweet serene
Body ache
Our bodies moving as one
Entwined in each others breath and arms and legs
Entwined our souls our hopes our dreams.

Do you remember that warm night three years ago?
Did you ever imagine that we would be so important to one another?
Well, a lot of things have come in gone in those "short" three years, but here we are as in love as the first day.
You have always been the man in my dreams, the one I pictured standing patiently at the end of the isle waiting for my father to pass my arm into yours.
I live in my own fantasy; my dreams have come true.

I lay my head down on the pillow and turn onto my side to see the emptiness of the sheets beside me where you once slept. A tear travels down my face... You messed up and got yourself locked up. You're not a bad man, but a good man who makes bad choices. Now, you lie in that cell and I in our bed alone waiting for the day that you can return home. My eyes fill up in tears as I place my hand to the dent in the mattress where your shoulder once laid. I miss making love to you on those nights you would wake up and stir me from my sleep. We were perfect; you and I. Well, not perfect, but perfect in our eyes.

I used to be a happy girl
A grin on my face and amusement in my heart
Not a care in the world
But that January 8th morning
I lost my smile and the laughter was stolen from my heart by a thief named grief

Others see from the outside
Spectators watching the gruesome bull fight
And imagine the pain I must be feeling with the events that life has presented for me
All that they can imagine is no where close to the numbness I endure everyday.

I wake up every morning and put my 'happy' mask on
'It's just another day' I remind myself
'I made it through yesterday'
'Just one step at a time'

The words the spectators have spoken
'You're so strong' they say
'I couldn't be as strong as you'
...strong
...strong
...strong
...but they have no clue.

Momma?
Where are you?
Are you in heaven? Is there a heaven?
Tell me what it looks like
Does it look like the bible tells us?

Momma?
Do you miss me?
Do you wish you were still here?
I do... everyday

Momma?
Do you remember the last words I left you with?
Do you remember the sweet sound of 'I love you.' coming from my lips?
I do... everyday

Momma?
What about that night me and dad got in a fight and I tried to run away?
Do you remember following me and crying? Do you remember what you said to me?
'You can't leave me' you said
'You're all I have.' you said
'You're my best friend.' you said
I do... everyday

Momma?
Do you know that I miss you?
Well, I do... everyday