Thoughts create separate realities to foster their ideas.
Water droplets exploding into fragmented molecules,
Hundreds of liquid duplicates based on the derivative.
Worlds implode, brilliantly crafted glittering jewels.
Shards resonate in darkness and float along a current
Far reaching, swiftly flowing, clawing at your mind.
It's a never ending flow breaching into many forms,
Encapsulated in a pristine visage none of us can find.

But the source is never the answer, only a beginning
To yet another story that never received an ending.
A cyclical experience that helped to break the circle
When it found itself too proud to continue bending.
Look within yourself when you ask all the questions
Realize that you have wisdom beyond your sight.
An infinite amount of knowledge with which to be
A candle amidst a world full of so much night.

Here I am, circling this drain once more,
A lifetime of expectation dwindling down,
Down into a memory walking out my door
Wearing my hopes like they were a crown.

And through my partially cracked mind
Sobs warped with static reach my ears.
Remainders of the dreams I can't find,
Like a synergism of all my worst fears.

But I can't give up; I can't stop my living.
It can't be possible for me to lose breath.
I haven't spent enough of my years giving
To be taken away and succumb to death.

So I step away from my deceit, from lies,
Opening my arms once more to receive
A blessing, the dissolution of a disguise,
A wide open life that refuses to deceive.

I feel weightless now, a breeze in the sky,
Optimistic sights lit by a bright red sun
As I grasp your hand, forgetting to die,
Walking as we watch everyone else run.

Gentle vibrations is all it takes to wake,
My muse who has fallen asleep again.
Have all the time you need to take
But please hurry, we should begin.

So, the pleasant child, all bleary eyed
Did wipe the sleep from off his face.
And with but a tiny sigh he did slide
Off his bed and to his natural place.

Then he cleared his throat and said,
"Tonight's the night we write anew
All the lover's quarrels in your head;
No more pity for poor little you."

Taken back, I grasped at my heart,
Did I anger this minute, tiny one?
"I'm in your head, forget that part?
You're dumber now, this will be fun."

So I sat at my desk and reaching out,
Seized a pen with which to write.
But my thoughts, crippled with doubt,
Could think of no start to my plight.

Lethargic muse abruptly aglow
Spoke to me from his perch above.
"Start with her, a woman you know,
That sassy little ***** named Love."

I wrote with a fervor granted by God
About the things that plagued my life.
My muse smiled and his head did nod.
My heart was alleviated of all its strife.

Gentle whispers rocked me awake
And blinking I looked at the ceiling.
A pen in my hand is all it did take
To give me back my heart's feeling.

My life, an ebbing hurricane, is mixed with torpid sighs,
Raucous wind dying down into a groaning bubble,
Laughter infused with fury, and a growing heap of lies.
All built upon itself, like shaving down to stubble,
Creating work while I hope to relieve the pressure.
Taking deep breaths to stay above the tide,
Endless swimming in water I'm forced to measure
Against the wind gulped to extend the ride.
So, I float amidst the sea, eternal blue-rimmed skies;
The light reflects, creating the images I find.
Casting off clouds in an ocean I feel with my eyes
And setting foot on land I made with my mind,
I crane my neck and strain my eyes to peer 'round
This created world, knowing I've always sought her.
Briefly, as my vocal chords scream to make sound,
I grin at the sky before my lungs fill with water.

I thought I knew the man I had become
Within the defining moments of my life.
A brief despair followed by compassion,
Deep breaths swirling through my strife;
If knowledge of reality is amiss to us all
Then thinking obviates the reason to cry.
Sad people chuckle at unfortunate lives
While the happy let loose an ominous sigh.

Yet every day whispers a new thought
And every thought inspires my choices.
But now I'm realizing twenty-four hours
Holds fewer choices than useless voices.
So, at what point do I see my errors?
Which day might define my existence?
The answers elude me, vapors above me,
Reckless to capture without assistance.

The leaves keep changing colors despite my pleading,
Before I looked within and noticed my chest beating.
What a clever ruse that ***** had played to convince,
It wasn’t in use when you left and hadn’t been since.
But now it would seem I know better than my heart,
About things that entice my mind and shock it to start,
‘Cause here I sit once again, a gleam in the dark night,
Exploring the reasoning behind my body working right.
It makes me wonder about the choices my brain makes,
In all of the previous decisions that have led to mistakes,
Who exactly is in control of my soul, heart, and brain,
While I’m so focused on this trusty mask I always feign?
But the answers only serve their purpose as excuses,
Squeezing them pitilessly dry of their disgusting juices,
To make myself feel better about what I’ve become,
In spite of the upbringing I should have learned from.
Yet, here I sit and sigh because colors are always turning,
And mine has changed to one that has my heart burning.