I'm standing in the mirror with these real eyes that realize real lies.

I can't believe you lied to me. I can't believe you still talk to her once you said you would stop. Now you say it's all a joke? Seriously stop ******* lying. You already know how much I dislike her and you go off saying "aww cute" and flirting with that *****. If your sorry *** wants to be single say so or else. I'm not gonna be over here thinkin that I can trust you and I won't get lied too etc. I was just crying my eyes out for what you said to her. You have no clue how heart broken and beytrayed I feel right now. I wish I couldn't feel pain. There's way too much this tiny body can handle. It's bottling up and what's gonna happen when it over flows? What's gonna happen to me?

Why don't you ever just say sorry and mean it? You know what you're doing wrong so change what you're doing. Like today when you were being a complete **** and an *** then right as you were leaving jack said dude give her a hug. How could you forget that? Or me? I thought you cared. I thought you loved to be with me. Was that all a lie?  How come you never stop what your doing and make me happy? All it takes is for you to care and keep a smile on my face. I never ask for anything from you, when I do it's small things. I'm always scared to tell you how I truly feel since I'm afraid you won't care. It's imposssible for me to know if you actually care if you don't show it, you only say it. Why don't you say goodnight to me anymore? You're scaring me by that, I don't want us to end. I love us. How come you don't talk to me after 9? Do you not wanna talk to me or something? If you need to tell me something just say it. It's better then leaving me here all alone wondering. There's so many things I would love to talk to you about but I just can't. My mind goes blank when I'm with you. I try so hard just to say something that i've been meaning to ask you about but my mind goes blank and nothing comes out. Why do you ignore me when you're with your friends? I'm still there you know. I'm not a ghost im a human that has feelings.

Why did you ignore me yesterday and act like I was a ghost?
You saw me crying yet you didn't care.
Your best friend was comforting me yet you still didn't care
You were holding hands with ******* Chris and jack yet not me?
You can help another girl put on skates but can't talk to your  girlfriend..?
When I walked out not saying a word all you say is "wait come back" didn't even chase after me to stop me.. Who do you think you are, I'm not gonna wait for you to hug me and kiss me then say your "sorry" we all know you don't mean ****. You just want someone to **** around with huh?
How come you ignore me now when I try to ask you something?
All I'll say is sooner or later you won't know what hit you and you will be left without a girlfriend, someone who cares about you and would do anything to put a smile on your face even if I can't keep one on right now, and most of all no one will love you like I do.
Will you miss me when I'm gone?
What happen to you always saying how you'd marry me and that we'd be together for a long time?
If I saw you on the streets or even walking with your wife I would smile and whisper to you "I still care."
And leave you wondering and thinking "wow she really did love me.."
Then that'll be the end of it.
The end of us.
**I hate the thought of us ending.

From that day on we haven't talked since then it's all just short glances in the halls. It's like there is something going on in your mind that makes you do these things, no one knows what it is but i've tried to save you from it from making you decide something horrible. I still don't know all i know is I still really ******* love you with all my heart. You have my heart in a jar always beside you, pretty soon you're going to throw it hard to the ground to shatter my heart, since you kept tightening the jar each day you loved me. Now that love is fading away and you keep trying to open the jar and give it back. Instead you don't want to deal with it anymore. You look at it ever now and then and think if you still do love me or if you don't at all. I know you're just a confused young boy but don't always take advice from the ones who don't know what love fully is or means.

What do I even do now? I'm stuck here all alone and no one even notices me, it's a Thursday night; it's summer, nothing to do, no one to hang out with. All alone sad curled up in a ball just crying. I wish someone could help me. But no ones here to listen. I've been suicidal yet no one notices or seems to care. I try to find help but nothing. Nothing at all. What's the point of being alive if there is absolutly no one or nothing? I always try to tell myself there are reasons to live but I can't find that reason too, I swear those reasons run away from me whenever I get close to them.