smother me in your molasses,
slowly,
pour yourself all over me
so that I can no longer breathe,
no longer inhaling,
but not suffocating,
only getting another taste
of that sweet, sweet molasses,
better than air.

thick, brown, beautiful,
the process, slow,
only heightens expectations,
what will the future hold,
when I'm fully immersed?

hoping you will never harden,
like those halloween candies
that no one eats,
instead, be the one,
who stays smooth,
and covers me,
in sweetness.

the most beautiful day
brings impermanence to mind,
the sunshine won't last,
the wind will cease...

joyful memories
will eventually be forgotten
and the gerber baby
died a long time ago,

so how can anyone
smile?

I miss the days,
when monsters
were tearing apart my closet,
and happiness
was for no apparent reason,

I miss the curiosity
I had in the world around me...

but now I know it all,
I know of my own mortality,
my heroes have fallen,
naivety shattered,
we have no control,
over life,
over death.

so how can anyone
smile?

I found my smile
in you.

death by your side,
makes a life fulfilled.

and this lack of innocence,
is lost in your eyes:
they make the sun shine again
(even at 2 am).

they cause wilted nature
to spring up in endless beauty.
and force the wind to blow again
a warm and calming breeze.

they cause all that's been exposed,
to revert to how it was,
when there were monsters in my closet.
simple innocence.

Small talk is much more of the former than the latter,
small, definitely,
but I've rarely, ever, talked.

My favourite?
"How Are You?"
As if the true gauge of such a complex question
can be summed up in a random stop and chat.

My response?
"not bad",
or something similar no doubt,
but sometimes,
I feel like being honest...

honestly...

i feel like boo radley in a town full of atticus,
feel like i deserve no more than the back of the bus,
feel like every single word that i say,
is another cliche, just another cliche,

feel completely silent, scream with no effect,
hope to find a true meaning, it still hasn't happened yet,
feel divided, from this joke we partake in,
where every single victory, is simply, a fake win,

why is nostalgia the only feeling that's appealing?
back when inadequacies weren't worth concealing,
that's all i cherish, that's all i want now,
and instead i'm standing here, and you're wondering how...
am i?

“...How Are You?!”

when fate's gentle whisper turns into a scream,
and crashing down come all of your dreams,
a roaring tide from what once was a stream,
tell me, is everything as lost as it seems?

"when one door closes, another one opens!",
that's nonsense,
i'm staring at a one-sided peephole, hoping,  
that the people that said they would help,
and forgot,
truly feel how the hell i've felt.

...that's how i am.

you are everything,
you are everyone,
you are every cliche
...you are the sun
you are oxygen,
you are in the trees,
you are orange leaves,
you are cool autumn breeze
that spreads across my spine,
you are forgotten dreams,
you are a glass of wine,
you are what reminds,
you are fine lines,
you are the key,
you are a plus sign,
you are what girls try
to become,
you are the why,
you are the sum,
you are bassdrums,
you are a symphony,
you are the child too naive
to realize that he's on stage,
you are every page,
you are every book,
you are the librarian's glasses,
you are classes,
that i may or may not have took,
you are the stun experienced
when things fall into place,
you are every race,
you are the taste,
of fresh produce,
you are abuse,
escapen,
you are an excuse,
shaken,
you are the noose,
breakin',
you are the clues,
finally taken,
you are a puzzle with pieces
all aligned,
you are dominos lined up
right before they fall,
you are every hall,
you are each phone call,
you are the brick wall
that kids throw tennis ***** against,
you are consequence,
you are every scent,
you are fresh cement,
waiting to be written on,
you are every song,
you are every play,
you are Broadway,
you are the crowds,
you are everything i say,
you are SCREAMING LOUD
in unallowed places,
you are familiar faces,
you are a smile after braces,
you are untied laces,
you are jumping over cracks,
you are warm candle wax,
you are dark moments
lightened by humour,
you are rumours
being shattered,
you are fish,
beer battered,
you are wishes,
when they matter,
you are the everafter,
you are the former,
and the latter,
you are the feet in the swimming pool
of those who cant swim,
you are slim jims,
you are macho man randy savage,
you are a test above average,
you are an ebay feedback rating,
you are ice skating,
on frozen lakes,
you are every birthday cake,
and every candle,
you are frosted milkshakes,
you are socks with sandals,
you are being outside the norm,
you are insightful vandals,
you are anarchy, restrained,
you are villains, reformed,
you are emcees without champagne,
you are Dylan on tour,
you are looking down,
before you let go,
you are a star's glow,
you are a peep show,
you are every mystery,
you are ***-pourri,
you are the guarantees
that are actually kept,
you are the moment
you forget why you wept,
you are the fizzy beverage
that makes one reminisce
or accept,
you are the first kiss,
you are the final step,
you are the trace of the past
that one must chase,
you are realizing that
time's too fast,
to replace,
you are the sun,
shining down into an unseen place,
you are cliches,
you are warmth and grace,
you are everyone,
that has ever graced,
this time and space,
here and above,
you are everything...
...you are love.

you ended our conversation with a 'see you later'
knowing full well you wouldn't
i'd like to think it was a slip of the tongue
rather than a rub of salt but
there's no way to be certain

i can't describe what it's like
to realize that the stubble on my face
is the same that brushed against your cheek
or this hair, the same that your
fingers navigated through
like blades of grass

if i could say that i was sorry
in a way that you'd appreciate,
i would. but we're too fargone,
this foregone conclusion
was only constructed in
the heart of one of us.

if i could give you back the time,
that you've stated now was wasted,
each memory, cards with
words of forever strewn about,
rings that were promises,
walks by the riverside,
while golden sunshine ushered
in new love, coffees paired
with wintry walks through an empty campus,
where i first realized, i'd miss you.
i would. but sand in an hourglass,
can't float upwards, regardless
of intent.

i have a soft spot
for cough drops
that are cherry flavoured
in the wintertime,
savour the moments left,
watching the outlines of my breath,
wondering why we step
out of ourselves constantly,
wanting another place,
chasing another dream,

dream of heat in the winter,
dream of frost in the sun,
dream for the end of **** exams,
tears well up when its done,
satisfaction can be found
in cherry-flavoured halls,
light shining on a fresh snowfall,
swear you're not high on the menthol,

real ice, in the moonlight,
makes that bling on their necks look amateur,
unsure of stability,
you lay down, and watch the sky,
starlight, mixed with cherry-halls, and your
breath in the wintertime,
savour moments like fine wine,
might as well just stop trying,

take these moments, take that breath,
take that flavour, take what's left,
focus on it, don't take a step,
live just for the sake of it,
forget the consequence,
and all responsibility,
and other 6-syllable words,
that we're fed repetitiously.

never underestimate
anticipation
let it be
like the clicking
of a rollercoaster
car as it
rises to the top
of a hill
steady climb
right before the brink
of freefall
and as you shiver
quiver
as it wells up
inside
inhibitions
stress
thoughts
in general
all
disappear
and as you
realize
that there
is no turning back
truly
locked in
for what is
next
an odd sense
of calm
overcomes
and as you
raise your hands
and let out
top-of-your-lung
breaths
gravity
attempts to
pull you down
back to
earth
but with
anticipation
what's meant
to be
fast chaotic
excess
becomes an
even steeper
climb
all the way
to cloud
nine