There is a small room
in the corner of my heart

where all your favorite things
and all your quirks are stored

where your time and affection constantly occupy

and I know that if you were ever to lose yourself-
to yourself, or to others-
you will come knocking on my body's door

as my heartbeat
until I, to your's.

every love poem I wrote,

I wrote for you

my muse,
one ode for everything unsaid
and a skew rhyme for the reasons I fret

every line
and all this



                                           space,

every word:

for you.

writing poetry
really isn't that hard:
you put down the words in your head
and you

break
up some
lines,

you can even try to rhyme
from time to time
but,
writing good poetry:
poetry that moves
and poetry that inspires
and poetry that is a blueprint
to your personality
and all your desires
where the lines
are smooth, slick with rhythm
where the phrases
are greedy of attention
like war and prison:
those kinds of poems
are going to be hard to write

but, in the end,
are so worth the writing

In chemistry
I learn how everything can be predicted:
how equilibrium
balances unstable situations
but I have yet to see
how I can use that in real life:
so school is pointless

In French
I learn how to talk about relationships
and how to say
"We are engaged" in another language
but I have yet to see
how I can use that in real life:
so school is pointless

And I can say with certainty
I have not yet learned
an essential skill:
a skill I need in order to survive,
I have not yet learned
how to make you love me,
so everything is pointless

I wish
I had someone
to show my teeth to
late at night
after I have had a
good cry,
but mostly
I wish it
was to you
I was
smiling.

we talked about
multiple personality disorder
and how people
change into other versions of people
and I thought that maybe
for a couple of hours,
for a vacation of sorts,
you could become a segmented part of me.
and I would come to you
when I became utterly sick
of myself
and needed to forget
and you would start a whole new me
someone that I knew nothing about,
a naive stranger,
whose only background,
only indication of any past
was you.

If you are looking to love me
please do not become me
because it is fact that I do not love me

I do not look at me with affection or see me
being a perfect parent

I do not wish to look at a reflection
day in and day out
of someone that is repulsive,
someone that makes me want to change me

and I hate waking up with that gut feeling,
the rush of knowing what I have become
and who I am and
I hate morning-me

and I hate afternoon-shy-me
and depressed-insomnia-me-at-11
and


I do not wish to be haunted by me and
I certainly wouldn't wish that
upon anytime-you.