Shanna Howse

Shanna Howse Dec 2010

Shrouded in mystery
Blinded by darkness
Trapped inside, like a brick wall
Engulfed in misery
Isolated from memories
Removed from physical awareness

On the other side
Through the darkness
Fog settles in the air
Moonlight streams through clouded night
Figures stand amongst the hills
Behind the trees lurks the unknown spirits

Longing for your kiss goodbye
Without you in sight, but remaining in mind
Your whispers surround me like a blanket
Tears fall, like shells from a gun, hitting the ground
The shadows dance still
You’re presence is missed by many
The call that came that night kept me awake for hours
Nightmares started haunting, and never ceased to exist
And a dark cloud pours all day long, sobbing and soaking
Running on empty for so long and without your hopeful words
Whispering, ‘it will all be okay, I’m here.’
You’re no longer here.

Unable to pull myself away
In a trance-like state
Wipe away the tears streaming like waterfalls
Here, leaving you with something for the night
A soft, pink rose—you like these best
It adds a bit of contrast, lying atop your grey tombstone

For now, I’ll stray
Off to the place you once called home
Still I follow the routine since that day
When you walked out of my life and didn’t return
But for you I always will
And baby, I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

© December 3, 2010. Shanna Howse.

I had to write a poem for English class, so I tweaked Farewell, My Love a lot, and thought I'd share this. :)

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

Trust

I think I'm falling for you
simple as that.
There hasn't a day gone by
that I didn't wish you weren't holding me
and called me yours.

When I'm with you
everything feels right.
The world falls into place;
I can smile
and really mean it.

I'm aching for you inside
I wonder if you notice the way I look at you
or feel the same way I do.
You're one of a kind, boy
and you're absolutely perfect for me.

I would tell you everything--
the feelings I've bottled up inside.
I'd tell you my hopes and dreams--
the secrets I hold to myself,
that could never be exposed to the light of day.

But if I tell you,
you'd run away with it all
and give it to those around you,
they'll spread it like wildfire
expose it to where it doesn't belong.

And baby, I'm strong
but I can't trust anyone.
To give it to the one I think I could trust,
you'd crush my heart and I'd cry myself to sleep.
And I'll falter. And I'll *break.

© November 29, 2010. Shanna Howse.

*This is not about anyone. I know my friends like to jump to conclusions. :P

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

What Heart?

Pulsing, throbbing
I’m alive.

Rhythmic beating
Still alive.

Painful beating
Cannot think…

Slowing quickly
Breathing stops.

Cracking, breaking
Shattering…

Choking, sobbing
*Now I’m dead.

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

Consequential

The day was glum
The rain poured
There was silence
Rain poured all night
I remember that
The lights were bright
I remember that too
There were so many lights
When I close my eyes
I can see the lights
We were young
We loved the thrill
Being in the fast lane
Watching lights flash by
They were there
And they were gone
That night was different
It ended so quickly
It ended in tears
It ended in heartbreak
It ended in me losing you
Forever…

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

Without You

The water is so clear,
Every night brings breathtaking skies,
The white sand on the beach
And the warmth of the sun
It’s paradise.
At least not without you, ***;
You’re too far out of reach
I miss the sparkling of your eyes
*wish you were here.

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

This is Why

I can’t let myself fall for you,
I can’t bear the consequence
Of losing you again,
Because the pain is just too much each time.

The door closes behind you,
The door is your shield,
That I wish I could knock down,
Because I’m tired of seeing that door.

If I hear your voice,
If I hear your laugh,
I shut it out,
Because I can’t listen anymore.

When you kiss me hello,
When you kiss me goodbye,
I can’t kiss you back,
Because I’ll always want more.

The warmth of your body,
The warmth of your skin on mine,
It sends fire through my blood,
Because I don’t know which way to feel.

Your voice promises only good,
Your voice tells me it will be okay,
Well, your voice lied.
Because it’s not okay, and it’s definitely not good.

Shanna Howse Nov 2010

A Cup of Sunshine

With the sunlight filtering in,
Yellow on yellow walls,
Shining on the green bedspread,
And the various shades of pink,
It all seems too happy.

You woke up smiling,
Went to the kitchen to make a coffee
Whistling a show tune,
In harmony with the birds singing outside,
Where is this place?

Feeling so little, without a care,
As though it’s in a dream,
Violence is extinct,
In a world bathing in happiness,
How would you survive?