as i lie naked next to you, i turn to look at you and i swear i see a light i have never seen before  in your eyes
i swear i found God.
dumbfounded by the glow of your golden halo
i can't believe i'm with a living angel

your lips baptize me as you leave wet kisses all over my skin
and i say your name a thousand times like a devoted follower of Christ
and i cling to your words the way his disciples must have

and i never believed in heaven until i found you
and i never prayed the way that they told me
but now you can count on me to get on my knees for you
and now you know i will always follow you

and as you move within me i swear i feel the Holy Spirit stir within
and i feel alive, my salvation wanting to save me and i allow you to come
i accept you as my lord and savior as your tongue moves rapidly, creating a sermon, leaving your word inside me.

i invited you over for a cup of tea
and you stayed the night
i remember watching you stare out the window
i remember making eye contact and smiling for no reason
i remember rolling my eyes at every compliment you gave me
"your room is so cool" "you smell like cigarettes and i like it"
i remember wanting to hold your hand the whole time
but i couldn't because i knew that you liked someone else and that would be weird
i still wanted to hold your hand and kiss your face every second of our time together
and as i listened to you talk about the things you liked and the things that scared you
i fell in love
i fell in love with the sound of your laugh as you laughed at a stupid joke i made
i fell in love with the way your face scrunched up as you smiled
i fell in love with the way you wore your t shirt and the way you sipped your tea
i fell in love with the faint red in your cheeks, the red that never went away
i fell in love with the way you sung along to every song that came on
i fell in love with the how excited you were at the mention of your favorite band
and i fell in love with the boy who wanted the same things as me
the boy who promised to catch me every time i slipped on a patch of ice
the boy who listened to the bands that i recommended
the boy who was so passionate about whatever caught his eye
the boy who i allowed to tease me because i liked that he noticed me
the boy who always told me that he enjoyed being my friend
the boy that i wanted to go on adventures with
the boy that i wanted to visit art museums with
the boy that i wanted to fall asleep next to every night
the boy that came over for a cup of tea
and stayed the night

your skin was smooth under my fingertips
as i traced the veins that were held back by pale skin
the heavy smell of your cologne left me drunk
and the ghostly presence of your hand at the small of my back
caused me to shiver and move closer in the small space your mattress provided
your bedroom window was open, the sounds of the city just outside filled the silence we laid in
"i'm sorry for the tear stains on your favorite grey t shirt and i'm sorry i made  you get up at 2 in the morning" my apologizes you brushed off, telling me that you didn't mind the stains because you always wanted a part of me with you
and that you were already awake when i crawled into your bed
and then you kissed the bruise on my right cheek, your lips careful not to be too heavy and you kissed the scratches on my arms and you wiped the blood away and promised that the boy who did this to me would rue the day
and i sighed, burying my head in your neck and listening to the sound of ambulances and cars moving down the streets and to the sound of you humming a lullaby in my ear, trying to steady the beating of my heart
so i moved closer to feel yours, memories of the previous hour appeared no more
away in your bed

we sat on my roof, listening to Frankie Cosmos and sipping tea
"this is going to be our year" you promise, the January snowflakes landing on your lashes and i smiled because i believed you
i believed you
i believed you
i believed you
i believed you