I AM Enough. I Don’t Have to Try.

I’m so alone. I am not seen;
In being praised, beyond my means.

I’ve work so hard, to have your love; to beg your seeing me, beyond these chores.

Beyond these achievements, there’s something more; inside my room, behind my doors.

In silence I’d sit, captured between, page 6 and page 7, of finding the mean.

Seeking for meaning, and looking within, I’d pass that by, and begin again.  I’d learn more than they; they’d see me then.

So I worked hard. I gave it my all. I’d answer the questions, get stars on the wall.

I’d be a genius, and buy a new world. I’d stand up on stage, no more ribbons and curls.

I’d shake the hand of the msn standing, I seldom saw; and move to the “real world”, alone down the hall.

I’d be “important”; no way to not see me then.  But there’s always more to do, to avoid my sin...

Of being whom I am; the eternal light so clear; so pure and so beautiful, only the blind cannot peer.

It’s not my fault, I did what was asked. Every obstacle thrown, I step right past. I became so good, at this game of the mind, that no one could touch me, not even Heart of mine.

But isn’t there more, than this round and round? Of tears that I hide, that lay lonely upon the ground?

The love that I have, that I seek from above, has always been there, in a blind man standing above.

But seeing my own, was a difficult chore; one more challenging, than working behind door.  

I’ve cried and I’ve suffered, to be rescued from “him”; the ruling world, so lost in its sin; the sin against the feminine; the cold harshness of fear; that one might not make it, in a world so unclear.

But I cannot hate him; he did what he could; being made into a god, himself, chiseled in wood. A legend was expected of his golden child; turned black sheep; suffering aloud.

He’s work his *** off, as did I, seeking validity, on Earth, not in sky. Standing tall, strutting about; saying “thank you, but next week is the clouds.”

“I’ll make it there, ‘cause she’s not in Earth. And it’s far too lonely, without ribbons and curls”; without the innocence, stolen from we; each and everyone, that ate from this Tree.

The original sin, still plagues man. That we must know, prove, build condos in the sand. That we must get caught, in material things, in pleasures without heart, where intimacy reigns.

That we must own more, and work hard for that.  That we must be seen, as a fat cat.  

I’ve lost and I’ve gained, the worst and the best. I’ve struggled through life, achieving these tasks. I’ve cried and I’ve suffered, not only for me; but a world so devoid, of the divine She.

She is fine; she is eternally grand. She isn’t above, but equal to man. She isn’t below; just not seen by blind man.

She’s nothing to prove; she is what she is. Divine gift of the eternal; ethereal to no end. She’ll outlast us all. Her purpose is clear; to just be, and Love; for she never fears. She cannot die; but man can, as we; without the feminine, we cannot be.

She is the breathe of life; he the means. To balance them both, makes us lean.  To shed what was given, that’s not our way; but to embrace it all, breathe and live another day.

To work and love, but towards what is true; the masculine and feminine, equal within you.

That this union shine light into the dark, of our suffering masses, pulling the cart. Bearing a weight that was never theirs. Because Satan offered Apple instead Pear;).

**Let my trickster (the archetype that emerges from the lack of balance between these two have the last humorous word. Though the trickster played all along as beast, god, and man unconscious unto itself.

I Love November When the Birds Say Goodbye

By something within Shane Bowles.

I Love November When the Birds Say “Goodbye”

I love November when the birds say “goodbye”;
When leaves just let go; becoming the only thing to fly;

In the cool Autumn breeze, where the skin contracts we feel, the independent body, soon, also to peel

Layers of old skin, dying and letting go, awaiting December, all wrapped up in snow.

We can really sense our body, in the winter land all about; being strangely reminded, we live, without doubt.

For in the Summertime, all feels much as one; the energy all swirling, between being and Sun.

Between you and I, the heat moves between; blocking us from our essence, contained in skin so keen.

But in the Fall, we see the physical value; reminded each time, life is a battle.

A battle quite grand; yet simply, Amazing. That we exist in a housing; upwardly gazing.

Gazing back to source, longing for to care. And be cared for, somewhere in the air.

But when Autumn comes, and the birds disappear; when the trees stand stark, still upwards they peer;

When silence sets in, and the frost sits below; when a brisk wind comes; followed by snow;

When evenings turn dark; and night long, at last; when pillows and blankets call “come think on the past”;

When there’s nothing but silence, and the skin longs for touch;
When everything disappears; that has distracted so much;

When the floor grows cold; the feet dance about; lost sense of the cold, Poe wrote about;

We are reminded, we do not have to try; for in our body, survival is natural, to never say “goodbye”;

But “see ya later”, comes easily at once; as the birds head South, to await the new Sun.

Not just the one above, but the light that shines within; each of us when Spring begins again.

Always a new Spring, each year we have found; after turning within, while cold hits the ground.

A reminder, ironically, that we live in fear, of death at our doorstep, year after year.

But that we also live in hope; as grand as them all. Something we ignore, often until Fall.

When we are reminded, beyond fun and games; beyond basking in the Sun, and dancing in the rains;

Beyond song and movement; beyond light from above; beyond the love, between geese and doves;

Beyond that without, we see day after day; beyond the external; the warmth of the rays.

Beyond smiles and greetings; beyond infinite stares; beyond “how are you?”, and the sliding of chairs;

Beyond conversation, of who done this and that; beyond laughter and dancing, and this or that stat;

Beyond you and I; there lies something gold; a brief existence, on Earth in the cold;

Where inwardly turning, not seeking without; we find our answers, for the new year about;

We find in our stillness, the most marvelous thing; that we are married to Earth; we’ve taken the ring.

To learn and reflect, year after year, to hibernate with self, just as do the bear.

To finally listen; to feel our body deep; to take in the cold, and remind we are always awake.

That to live in this housing, is a blessing indeed. For God walked also, to experience the need.

To feel in the body, life carries within, an infinite connection to both stars and sand.

To breathe in the cold, is a beautiful fright; to cuddle by the fire, a reminder of the light;

The light that burns within, every living cell; that always has our backs; when we feel we’ve failed.

When we feel we’ve tried so hard to live an ideal; when we feel we’ve failed, while sitting with a meal.

When we feel we’ve disappointed, not lived to potential;
When all the world’s noise, distracts from essential;

When we gazed at the sky, begging the “why?”; after giving our all, towards rainbow pie;

When we’ve hustled for others, imagining for self; when we expended our energy seeking, something we’ve simply lain upon some shelf;

When the birds are gone, and our stillness sets in; we center and realize, life is within.

We know that it’s tough, this life we keep saying. But forget the meaning, of this that precedes praying.


Life IS tough. It doesn’t quit easily. It’s programmed from God, to resist all our doubts.

It’s strong and a warrior, beyond what we think. It can beat down the devil, in center of the ring.

It’s holds tight to living, to protecting the Self, that is often forgotten, by Ego and Elf.

It faces the trickster, stuck in the mind; it challenges all demons, so unkind.

It wins in the wars, between ideals and Self. It allows us to change; to reNEW and live, another year being, through new love and tears.

Life is amazing; when Sun hides in the clouds; when the skin cells tighten, as if taking a bow.

When the Earth hides its colors and does not cater, we find life is within;

And birds just say, “see ya later”.

I Love November, when the birds say “goodbye; for I am reminded we are living cycles of life.

That there is no goodbye, just a refreshing a new smile; a “see ya later, Alligator”, and an “after ‘while, Frederick.”

I've opened my heart,
A place I've not known,
To you, to me,
A chance, one day, you'll not be gone.

Love is scary.
To need, even more.
I've thought I've had best friend,
To only be gone.

To sit by myself,
To wonder and pray,
To wash away the pain,
To have hope for another day.

"I don't need anyone,
I'm smart and I'm brave!"
I can tell the 'why' of everything,
If not, I put it away.

I tell myself these.
I come close,
Then push people away.
"They'll be only gone"
That's what I say.

Try and try again.
Move from shadows to doubt.
Then hope and renewal,
To wondering about...

This planet we suffer on,
Hot, cold, and alone.
Wishing someone to hold,
To feel to the bone;

A comfort, a love,
A need to feel home.
A lover a friend,
A soul within my own.

Because it's so lonely,
Despite what I say,
To everyone around,
Secretly hoping a new day.

One of laughter and sunshine
Of cuddled stormy nights.
Of long intimate talks,
The sharing of frights.

The comfort in knowing,
Another feels the same.
Hearts in unison,
Not the tragic fake game.

Someone who knows me,
And makes me a better man.
Challenges me to be more beautiful,
Than all the oceans' sand.

Someone who cries,
And says "please hold me, dear";
For I am like you,
I, also, have fears.

That this world is world is selfish;
Mean beyond thoughts.
That needs more
Than any money has bought.

Someone that sees
Myself within they,
And finds themselves
Through my heart,
That I also hold they

Within my own shadow,
Within my own fears,
Within places I've avoided,
To hide all the tears.

But tears are where we find,
Others like mine;
Hearts so lonely,
Like me, of being too kind.

I can't deny anymore,
I need a best friend.
Life passes quite quickly,
And then it's the end.

I'm afraid of hope;
It's as worthless as fear.
But I, so, need faith,
To get through the years.

A faith that God is within,
Both you and I.
That within each of us,
He's there when we cry.

That I am your hand of God.
That you are mine.
That within us, each,
His love we will find.

That caring brings us faith,
To move on through the day,
Days of just being,
Because we are afraid.

I'll hold your fears,
With tenderness and care;
Please hold mine,
So this life we can bare.

I want to love you,
In whatever way.
I just ask that you know me,
So that you might stay.

For others have not;
neither for you.
Does that change,
With this friendship anew?

I know lots.
I am a smart man.
But this I'm unsure. Should I keep eating life from a can?

Or will you be there,
Unlike all the rest,
The ones you've known,
Those I imagined the best?

I'm tired of imagining.
I'm tired of just hopes.
I want a sea before us,
With a shared sturdy boat.

A navigator when I sleep.
A resting soul when I'm awake.
Two people that knows each other,
And fears do not quake.

I don't know. Worst poem I've written, I guess. I'm tired and confused. Like a "baby", as you said; emotional at best.

I ******* hate emotions. They confuse the hell out of me and I don't know which way is up and they make no ******* sense.

That's why I keep them away as much as I can stand.

Been writing it since we hung up. But it's just ******* emotions. No brain at all. I'd rather be tough and funny, maybe.

Work and this has been very stressful.  I'm not myself. It's something I repress.

But yeah. Of course it's for you. The first time I saw you and you me, I've been drawn to you and trying my best to deny it. But I laugh with you. I love how silly we can be. I love how beautiful that silliness is. It makes me happy.

I'm feeling very stupid now. Not before when you called me stupid. But this. I'm uncomfortable with this. It ***** up my brain.

I don't really know what I'm saying. It's not a language I understand. Just confusion and longing and an appreciation and fear that I've met you.

Perhaps the rambling of madness   Lol.

I been thinking of something poetic/romantic. I'm gonna try to write it here. Might be easier since Fe/Fi.

When you look into my eyes from your peripheral vision, to feel I'm staring straight through you,

And you dance and stroll 'round 360; my head and eyes still fixed straight ahead,

You'll KNOW the whole time, circling around, that I kept seeing straight through you, focused your presence about.

I wanna see to your core and love it. And show you why you should too.

Stirred in Chaos--The Scattered Beauty I Still Love

You're a very mixed up beautiful soul;
Stirred to chaos, looking to grow.
Afraid of the light, and darkness, too;
Unsure that you're worth the "I love you's".
But there's something there; I wanna know.
'Cause I feel your soul will make me grow;
To know myself, through knowing you.
Where we are one; never, again, blue;
But Angels complete with love of two.

--Shane Bowles

Take time and write, doll. Just sit in the quiet of a dim light.

Jot down your memories, laughters and frights.

Pour over every detail surrounding the man;

What was important to him; and not, if you can.

Push through it all, but let it swallow you, too.

For you are both strong and weak, bold and blue.

Put down the memories, so inspiring and wise.

Let the pages fill with tears; and go look up into the skies.

To know his energy never dies. We know not what, but there's something beyond.

Far past the clouds, the wind and sun.

Where all of his essence moves through the stars.

And circles back down
Deeply in your heart.

You may not see him,
But be not fooled, then.

You'll feel all his presence, again and again.

To let you know, you never have and never will walk alone.

Forever in your spirit,
He is never gone.



I'm here for ya, ***.

No Clicking Of Heels

I don't cry anymore
Because I know
Anything that lasts
Must go slow.

We burned it out
With passion hot.
I touched you softly
And found your spot.

Not the one
Between your legs
Or your neck
Or pulling hair while you begged.

Far deeper than that
Did we go.
To a place unknown
In our soul.

A place that scared
The living hell
To a point
We did bid farewell.

We burned it out
Before we began
To see each other
From end to end.

From heart to heart
From head to toe
From places beneath
That none will know.

To places far more vast
Than we can see within ourselves.
Places never written about
On tall bookshelves.

Places beyond
space and time
Where angels dance
Where all things rhyme

And gel within
To grow us far
From egos to souls
On other sides of stars.

Where did we meet?
In halls of school?
And where's that baby
We wanted, with coo?



And I think of this
From time to time.
Wondering how
To end this rhyme

This hell to heaven
All wrapped in one
The memories of pain
And so much fun.

Where we are together
Making love and peace
As gypsies do
Living in ease.

But all my logic
And all you feels
Can't bring us back home
By click of heels.

The storm is too great
In your mind from then.
Yet I'll dream of you
Until my end.

4 mins flat,
This took to write.
And it's done with love
Not worry or fright.

You're within me
And you just flow out
So it all much be true
I have no doubt

That you miss me too,
Now and then
And have great wonder
Why did we end

Or could we begin again.

My feels; your logic;
My logic; your feels.
But no fine answer;
And no clicking of heels.

I've tried.

Haha

Love,
Smarty Pants [aka NitWit;)   :*]

Books in Barnes;
A Noble night.
One of laughter,
Not of fright.

We walked and read
With coffee, hot.
As I watched your head
Bow to words so smart.

We waited an hour;
Then a bit more.
For you to see
My one fine *****.

I'm joking of course.
She's really quite grand.
As you are to stars
And I to any man.

And that little bundle
Of energy and words
That never stops,
As if were birds.

Oh, the *** food with salad
Dead fish without tan.
Talking about the stars
As if ocean sand.

So immensely vast
Just as our souls
You read your lyrics
As we shared our Bowles.

You told of life
And the struggles thrown
At each of us
And how it's known

To rock us roughly
Then settles to peace
As we know more each day
And walk with more ease.

To find another
As we found they
Across a parking lot
Waving "hey".

But not your first meeting.
I'm not talking about Jim and Nick's;
But beyond what we see
In stones, leaves, and sticks.

We are out of this world
And in the center of it.
Lives crossing through others
Bit by bit.

So you know them well
You just missed their smiles
And the giggles unlimited
While we spun our tires.

We've danced before,
But not like this.
We've hugged like bears
With ethereal kiss.

Across the miles
Through water and fire;
Through earth and wind
By slave and friar.

By king and jest,
Princess and queen.
Through beast and fowl
We each have seen

Each other before
In glancing ways
And finally spent one of my dreams
At night, after one fine day.

And I'm thankful to all
That we met up that night.
That we shared our shared being
Through touch, sound, sniffing and sight.

And to the cosmos
I'll say this quite loud

I love you three the mostest post toastest. Ha!

On THIS day,
Without regret,
Without fear,
Paying my debt,
To the universe or destiny,
Whichever saw fit,
To have me like your comment,
As I sat to ****, (Lol. Not really, but needed rhyme bahahaha;)

I give thanks,
To whatever it be,
That allowed me to view,
And actually see,
Your most beautiful soul,
Built from the stars,
Outlasting relationships
And materialistic cars.

I am not a poet.
These words are not mine;
But left upon my being
Across all space and time.
To send out to you,
To confirm you know well,
There is only the heavens,
There is no fiery hell.

Only the one ****** upon us,
On this rock we now stand,
Fashioned by ignorance,
Of a far lesser man.
Whom can't see your beauty,
Your sparkle, your shine.
Whom fate has put in the distance
Kissing his own behind.

You'll stretch now.
You'll glow.
You'll see what I see.
You'll fashion your future
With support and "yippie's" from me.
Dr Suess, another ENTP,
Will be quite jealous
Of our friendship, and me.

He'll yell "What is THIS; That I see?
As The Cat in the Hat goes flat splat
Wondering of you and me.
"How CAN this BEEEEEE??!?!??
That from 100 INFJs,
He chose only YOU
To build a friendship
And build you less blue?"

We will not answer,
But leave it to the stars,
To light our paths,
Raising our bars;
To not accept,
Less than we deserve,
To remind each other of that,
When life throws us curves.

I'll be your shoulder,
From this day own,
To love you as you'll allow,
While your off the ****.
I'll be your support,
If only as friend,
That is my promise
Until the very end.

Until the stars burn out, with a kiss, goodnight.

I've thought of you
In many ways;
Many complexities
On many days.

I've contemplated your meaning
To my life and the world.
To the universe and beyond,
Through flatiron and curls.

Through tumbling and leaping
Through broken leg and pain.
Through cold winter months
Through sunshine with rain,

Where you opened my eyes
Like the first time you opened yours,
To see what's beyond
Rainbows and other worlds.

You made me cry when you entered THIS world
I've often had tears
Of pain for your suffering
And your glorious new peers.

I think of you often
Over all these tough days
Of life on the planet
Where most is in haze.

Where struggles bring us light
To see far beyond
The sensory input
Such meaningless glum.

You now are much grown
You've gain more than I.
You're far more than I dreamed;
I sit here with sigh

Of relief that you're here
That you've grown to this soul.
With comfort to see
You'll learn more than I'll ever know.

That you'll make your mark
Not judged my a man,
But by whom you are within,
Your soul, your biggest fan.

Stay true to that spirit
Connected to all
Know your worth,
Realize your call.

You've nothing to prove
You are whom you are
And in 1997,
Your mom and I literally made a new star.

You ARE our universe, Carly Grace Bowles.

Happy Birthday!  I so much love you.

Yes. I know I'm early. Lol

Muah!!!!

A full plate. Steak. Cow, one might say, but flavor it, steak.
Thick. Savory drippings bleeding into grilled shrimp from the great Gulf of Mexico, where thoughts of that endless expanse smells of sweet salt and colors the sound of swelling glow, leading into a bright light of warm day. I nibble, but do not taste. Too late, I'm reminded by the lines of Bukowski.
"There are worse things than being alone. But it often takes decades to realize this. And most often, when you do, it's too late. And there's nothing worse than too late."  Too late.
I've tasted none and now fully aware.
Too late.

Cow removed. Shrimp shriveled. Taste, only a faint smell of hidden possibility.
Too late.
I've spent years, misunderstood. Or perhaps fully understood as people watched the food grow cold. Idiot. What a waste. It tastes the same, with or alone. Just eat.
Too late.

To love so deeply
To the marrow of our bones;
To have faith in people
You see as home;
Can leave one empty
In the greatest despair;
As if an old man, full of regret
In his rocking chair.
Wishing not to have loved,
But to be one in the same,
As the heartless *****
Whom played only games.
Not sure of anything
Enough to give all,
And harmed every suitor
Once brave enough to call.
Yes life started with another
Can change a man.
Or make him find himself
Gloriously stern and in command.
Never taking more ****.
Never giving a ****.
But now playing the game,
Creating his own luck.
Through will and determination
He'll have respect or they'll pay.
No longer willing to love
Those whom only wanna roll in the hay.
So **** them all,
With my brilliant mind, you see.
And destroy the face of one whom decides to be enemy.
I care not, anymore
About consequences or you.
You'll show some respect,
Or I'll take you to school;
Put you in your place,
The one you've always held.
As the ***** demons
I've committed to hell.
I'm in full control,
I'm capable, you see
To forget that I love you
And make you hurt as me.
I never wanted what you dished out,
But I've save a portion
To multiply and spit out
At you, at him
At the rest of the world
Whom would challenge my patience,
Whom will not honor word.
I'm sick of it all,
The lack of care and respect.
The avoidance of truth
The inability to reflect,
On oneself,
To know the harm
You continually cause others
Without alarm.
You'll learn your lesson,
I'll stand to say.
Or you find me teaching
Every ******* day.
Until you change
Until you've grown
To the place I once was
When I thought you my home.
But I am now as you.
That'll be your cross to bear.
I'll make certain
The next time you'll care.
You've escaped your consequences
From all, thus far.
Try me again
You'll feel all our scars
Heaved heftily upon you,
You lying ****.
You big tittied woman
Whom worships her ***.
There's more to you within
Bit you choose not to share,
But only take
Like all of me, as I sit in stare.
In reality, you took only the worthless;
You, my caring, the wish for you to stay.
Now I wish only respect
Without which, we may both pay.
But I've paid out.
You've hoarded the gold.
I have nothing to lose.
I'm dark, empty and cold.
Mad as hell
Is the rage beneath
That one wrong move
from you
Will release.
You'll find no pity.
I've given it all.
Left with nothing but desire
To see you fall.
Test me. Please do.
You'll see that I've change.
And I'll reflect only you.
A cold and heartless wonder
Of fright and of awe.
A train wreck awaiting
For you to hear the call
"ALL ABOARD!"

Yup. Sometimes, waiting destroys all chance.  
Sometimes, you run out of road. Every direction, all options, all roads, closed.
Sometimes, it's a dead end street where you're trapped, with the pouring rain as thick as blood, weighed you down.
Sometimes, there's nowhere to go. Except back in time in your head and reflect on what road, with full-throttle,

COMMITTED

to find
heaven

or




GOD'S

Hell

Fire

Hot HOTT!!

Ouch

decisively;
save regret for later if it's on that path,
cause we know there's
no avoiding it
on THIS
one.
Indecisiveness kills,
it steals time,
as a trained monkey in Bangladesh gets his banana, baby.  
ALL.
roads.

dead.


Save
forgiveness and repentance.
Sometimes,

beautiful things die while you're in darkness, robbing them of sunshine.


They

die.

I've always wanted,
But never believed...
That I'd feel so much;
And deeply need.

That I'd hold such beauty,
Body and soul...
In these beaten arms
That'd grown so cold.

Then you gazed at my spirit;
You held my ****.
You wanted me in you,
In or out of my socks;)

Yet it's not only your desire,
That draws me near.
That quenches my thirst
While drying my tears.

It's not your gaze
Into my heart.
Nor your laughing
When I have to ****.

It's not the late night
*******.
Nor watching each other sleep
As we sit aching.

It's not the look
That's in our eyes,
As we hold crackers and slices of bread
In between our asscheeks and thighs.

It's not the *******
On a desk.
Or the the craving kisses
Upon **** and *******.

It's not your hair
Ticking my face.
Or even your lines
That I love to trace.

It's not all that, but ALL that;
And more, you see?
It's the dream that you'll realize
How much you need me.

As I need need you
Like a breath needs the air.
Like birds must sing
To show the world
There is beauty and care.

Like music is nothing
Without sound.
Like tears still fall
From hearts of broken clowns.

Like water must flow,
From mountains to sea.
Like with too much *****,
You have to ***. ;)

Like stars must shine,
When clouds are gone.
Like I see your beauty
And it is my song.

For the song of us
Is a warm breeze that blows;
It's my longing
For you to know...

That you always wanted,
But never believed...
That you'd feel so much;
And deeply need.

That you'd hold such beauty,
bodies and souls;
As ours are together,
Fire inside us burning
Far hotter than coals.

For you to know passion
Of a love that'll never die.
For you to know and love yourself,
Never, ever having to hide.

For your dreams unseen to awaken
As you've awakened mine.
For you to marry a mind and soul
Of your own kind.

Of someone who longs
To dance with you in bars;
Or naked in moonlight
Atop our car.

Whose whisper "I love you"
Takes your breath away.
And gives it back
With a kiss and "I'll stay".

I want you to know
This feeling inside.
The one that has capture
Even that I try to hide.

That aching; the craving.
That glorious yearn.
That causes a smile,
Without which you'd burn.

To know you felt
Such a beautiful thing,
I'd bow to your beauty;
I'd offer a ring.

So if you can love me,
A heart trampled, a mess.
The love sweet gal, my friend.
Experience all I see in you, my lovely angel, Jess.

Muah XO

PS--another beautiful, soul touching, **** would be nice;)

Know I love you, Brb.

I dreamed of your kiss;
Not once, but twice.
Maybe more.
I'm sure, more.
So nice.

I'm awakened. Heart racing.  
Smile swelling, from inside.
Breath escapes.
******* aches.
Soul cries.

I must have you.
Not maybe; must.
Love grows.
Yes, grows.
Accompanying, lust.

Not so much lust.
*** dripping from my ****.
But passion.
Soul-filled passion.
Awaiting by the clock.

When will that be?
When dreams become reality.
I crave. (You. Have. No. Idea.)
******* CRAVE. (Is all I could say).
As a song must have melody.

I pulled you close.
Our bodies formed; my lap.
Laying you back; embrace.
****** embrace.
My hands; your map.

A giggle with neck kisses.
Anticipation; the next.
Hair brushes. Head turns.
Yes, turns.
Eyes meet. No longer perplexed.

No dream could be so sweet;
As mine and my babe's swelling lips.
Smooth sliding. Delicate velvet quivering, still.
Our tongues kneading.
No. Needing. Hands grip, hips and nips. Quenching drips.

The beckoning dreams began our calling;
The Kiss, connecting two lost souls into one.
Fiery passion.
Our lovely adventurous passion.
Prelude, the friendship.
Chapter One ending as your tongue tastes my ***.

Chapter Two is being written by us, lovely madam.
I shall inform.

Sincerely,
Your Kind Sir

A glance. Then another.
Where a thousand smiles,
and laughter, hiding, finally found light;
Though lips moved no more than eyes.

Caught. Captured. Drawn in.
Like inescapable black hole gravity,
Taking us to an unknown realm;
The start of a glorious adventure;
A destiny we've always known.

In late nights, where questions became our partner;
Where longing had become our friend;
Where songs of Mississippi blues origins,
Teased; mocked, our souls;
Laughter, passion, shared thought,
Replaced them with answers.

We found memories that have yet to happen;
Comfort, yet to exist.
Tenderness, following seizured passions,
Burned audacious passions within our chests.
Fallacious reasoning?  Imprudent coordinates plotted?
Not from the pilot's seat;
Mind; heart; spirit; guided the inevitable course of your soul's smiling gaze.

Now we are lost again;
Unsure of which path to take;
Questions as our company; longings as our friends.
Is it unfair to wonder? To wish? To dream?
Is that only torture? The life unseen?  
The passions,  only distractions from past and present obligations?
Were we stealing away what wasn't ours?
Or are the choices of the past, stealing away from us?

I know I can't answer those questions,
Sitting with my old friend, the blues, strumming;
haunting twangs in darkness; without laughter; without passion;
with your thoughts frozen and alone.
I think; I feel, I know. Yet your late night friends are a part.
They murmur quietly, indiscernibly; as if unstudied answers on a test.
Ones you feel you know; but frightened too much for rest.
It all could have been just one more life quiz;
To redirect our life's journey; asking what we shall miss.
If that be the purpose; no regrets will have claws.

I'll cherish the connection;
I'll remember the glance;
The smile of your soul has sparked in me, again;
A passion for a chance I'd hidden as if not wanted for fear of loss.
And though it might seem crazy, as weirdness abounds my being;
I DO feel loss. I DO miss memories unseen; swaying dances unrealized.
Yet, the silliness of pain is tolerable. I'll sleep again someday;
And dreams awakened, once lost, will guide our way (s?).

--Shane Bowles

Rooting Home

She crumbled, exhausted.
     Lost to unresponsive paralysis.
Movement limited to deep gasps of breath,
     Soul spinning the universe.

She knows not where; a struggle to root.

"For, if I continue, I'll surely die."
     On her back, for how long? How hard?
Thoughts replaced by feeling.
     His breath. The back of her neck, he slides inside;

Rooting his soul, her's returns home. "This is hard."

"Very hard! Faster, Baby!! Fire, Passion, Love. Bring me home!!!"

-Shane Bowles.

His Anaïs Nin-THE MUSE
     Of ****** Souls.

Glancing up from her pipe,
    She saw his gazing to her face.
Eyes connect, she almost freezes in
     bewilderment. Exhaling, lips rise at his, she knows his thoughts.  They
     are her own.

Lighting the Camel, face flickering,
     As the campfire drifts,
Giving way to the glow of the distant
     horizon of the ocean,
He moves his lips to her  neck;
     Lifts her to the blue Ford.

"Dance primal for me, baby.
     These shorts are not needed.
I'll throw dollars you way;
     Or I'll love you forever, for now.
Or eternity. But I must taste you.
     Share every drop of my...
       warm...juice.

That's beautiful. I see you."
     The creases where they should be.
"Glistening slit, where I probe to touch
     your soul; where pain, itself,
Feels the sword, as intensely
     As, deeply, as you feel my ****.

May I join you?" Dance the stars.
     Sway, embraced, bodies toasting,
Celebrating survival; of themselves, the stars,
     Glowing, feeling all their fire burning,
A tingle, a hot chill, moistening her libia minora;
      Now sliding, anticipating his tongue;
Inviting his bell shaped head; come inside,
      find me.

Climbing, standing, rod throbbing, grazing mons *****,
     Precum drips across a tiny patch of hair.
Pulling her, ******* titillate on his chest.
     He kisses her softly, passion deepens; tongues, as well.
I want you. I need you inside me. **** me until I can't move?
     **** my breast, my primal beast. Bite them.

I'll almost ***. You'll pulse at that, then drip.
    Give me that, baby. I need your *** on my ****;
Mixing with my cream, a perfect solution;
     Smooth glide of life. Put your fingers inside.
Stretch my walls. I'll touch my ****,
      My *** covered fingers. My tongue in your mouth.

He grabs her firmly; spins her around.
      His soaking head slips down her crevice;
Across her ****; it tightens, wantinglly,
     Yet like her soul, timidly afraid. This might hurt...
A bit. But if she doesn't have him,
      She will sure die from crave, curiosity, what ifs.

"I'm coming, baby", she cries,
     Distant figures, walking the beach,
With eyes to dilated for detail, see a shadow push,
     Another shadow give and lean,
Over the hood of a truck, banned from the beach.
     They suspect. They do not know...

She is shaking; trembling; pulsating...*******:
     Whimpering, "Please **** me, baby."
Arching a perfect ***, with a dimple he knows intimately,
     She feels his head massage her ***** lips,
Slightly dipping inside. Then "OH MY GOOD GOD!!!
      I...can't...breath!....I...can't...I'm still *******!  

I...can't....oh GOD!  Deeper baby!  I'm gonna *** again...AAHHH..."
     Pushing deeply. Retracting. Slamming.
"Faster!  That ****'s yours!  Just ******* take it!!!"
     **** me!  ****.....ME. **** ME...TO....DEATH!!!!"
She shares her lovely juices, the length of his ****.
    
     The sun illuminati. Not man's, but pure truth.
Now, most assuredly exposed, both the couple
     And ten early morning beach strollers;
He slides out, still strong. Still hard. Very wet.
     To take her up the trembling ***.

"It does hurt, my love. My **** and my soul.
     Be gentle. Tender. Move slowly.
For now. Protect me. Love me.
    Then *** in my depths. I am your muse.

Cycle

The end of the beginning.
The beginning of end.
This endless cycle that causes my sin.

The greatest guy.
A worthless ****.
Who am I? Where do I fit?

Sunshine. Rain.
Glory. Shame of pain.
Giving all. Then taking the cane.

Strike me when I want too much,
with silence of what I need to hear.
I'm so strong. Paralyzed with fear.

There's every answer. None.
I ponder if it's just in fun.
But reality needs gun control.

Is there nothing more,
Than round and round?
Is this the only love we've found?

Is it love? I can't tell.
But the smell, the touch,
The laughter is hell.

I want more. It doesn't exists.
You'd think so with that kiss.
It's just a tease to miss.

Intelligence intertwined with stupidity.
We both are enlightened idiots.
Knowing the way; choosing the other path.

Aftermath, my sin; is it your holiness?
When I'm broken, you're complete?
When I'm whole, you're in sin?

I see everything perfectly.
And not at all.
Chaos abounds my head, heart and soul.

Just passion. That's all.
For you. For self.
Building an ice castle that protects; that your words melt.

Cycle.
Where do we get off?
The end of the beginning or the beginning of end?

I've been fairly great, comfortable. I've been thinking of this as just another day for weeks. But it's here. Being a alone is no fun. I went to my brothers. Lots of people there. Even had I known them, I'd still feel alone. I have this place in my mind that rationalizes the excuses I've heard and even given myself. Everyone is justified. The excuses, I had every reason; all others as equal. But it doesn't pour into the emptiness. It doesn't patch the holes; the gaps that keep everyone who has held our heart, now cold; a little glow hiding deep that we can't extinguish or lose ourselves, our sanity, our control if we ever took that one step that'd warm us enough to restart a fire that we know would burn our soul, not sure in which way. I'd die; I'd finally live. Idk. I've no idea. Can't truly give anything a chance, certainly not a second or more times. Not sure I mean someone, though Carly crosses my mind. But you, the better, and then the rest that poured a cup or two in this gallon hole. I miss you all. I miss you. I miss not fake smiling, inwardly fighting crying all the time. Which way care and love, dreaming of the same, we all ****** up.  *****, too much to know we have anything of value, narcissistic just the same. Negatives we'd love if we knew the why. There part of the very essence of, hidden, the very reason we love. Do they answer a question we have asked for years about who we are?  But the vision not clear enough; frustrations abound, expanding the expanse, "it's their fault, my fault, doesn't matter...loneliness just ******* sux."
I miss....
Not that it matters; just another day.
I'll be just fine tomorrow