I drove to the bank yesterday
I drove to fill my gas tank,Easter day

my dad went fishing with his friend today
and why shouldn't they?

leave me in the house
its no problem
i'll just sit and stare at the walls
take my brother too so there's no one to play

don't bother stocking up the fridge
forget about the electricity bill

mom's on the other side of the bridge
working for us
earning for us
just like dad

the clouds are crying like me
their tears falling on the roof
like marbles on the floors

the TV isn't working
neighbors are off skiing in Aspen
and i'm stuck at home

why can't I go fishing?
no room for me?

when will I go to Aspen?
when everybody will be going for vacations to Antartica?

this life's no life
trapped in the house,no phone

shoes muddy
hair curled up
breath smelling like socks

the day is over
but my complaints aren't

mom and dad are home
relaxing in front of the TV

Is EVERYTHING fine now?
Can I stop complaining now?
and MAY I go to sleep now?
Because i'm tired of complaining
now.

I thought that you were angry with me
you expressed it fairly well
ran me over with a car
I almost bled to death
not that you would care
then you come cryin' to me
and then expect me to forgive you
that fake sorry look on your face
isn't going to melt my heart
isn't going to make me forget that incident
it's imprinted in my memory
scarred it as well as damaged it
i can't even look at you
i never thought, out of all the people
YOU'D do this to me
it's not just about the pain
it's about the fact that you would attempt something like this
why not just stab me in the heart with a knife
rather than hurting me 10 times more
emotionally,physically and any other way imaginable
just get away from me
stay away from me
so that i can heal myself
and the memories of you can slowly fade

there is no noise in the backyard
there are no voices in the backyard
but
go close to the bushes
and see

the slimy snail sneaking up to the strawberry
lying in the muddy pond

oh snail!!!
go slow

the bed of brown is cracking beneath you

go close to the trees and see

the leaf from the tree high above
is falling towards its grave
awaited by the worms

the roses were blooming
the berries looked ripe
filled with juice
filled with sugar
filled with sweetness

the rays of warmth
passed through the branches

the sun passed over my house
the moon snuck up
and shone a dim light across my little forest
and all my creatures drowned in the darkness

waitin' to be rescued by the hands of heat
waitin' till the moon went clockwise from south to west
so that they can lift above the shadows
reveal their colors
open their wings
and let the wind push them back

then

i will set foot in my forest
and explore the wonders
that hid from me today.

what's wrong???
i feel weak when i'm sick
it's like every time i open my mouth
i'm gonna cough or ***** or maybe even stop breathing
the pain in my fingers when i'm writing is unbearable
i feel dizzy
it's like i'm gonna fall
and i fell
but really i'm just sitting

i can see colors and patterns floating in the air
makes me wonder "am i crazy?"
the lids want to close
but i'm resisting so that i can see
i can barely eat
i rarely sleep

i can't move my legs or arms
because they're so stiff

i need to feel better!
i need to get up,go to the doctor,and finally take my medicine

i can't see anything because it's really dark
and grandpa's back is blocking my view
i can't hear anything except the music
it's really loud
i can taste something crunchy
but i don't know what it is
hope it's not a cockroach
because i'm pretty sure mum didn't buy anything
i feel congested because i'm crammed between my cousins
i wish i couldn't smell because i think some kid just pooped his pants
ewwww now i really want to leave
the situation is getting worse by the minute
even the slightest sound is pinching my head
the air filled with a foul smell
which resembled puke
i want to blast this whole place with a nuke
can this day get any worse?
oh finally this nightmare was coming to an end
people are finally leaving with either family or friends
looking all jolly and satisfied
lets go lets go lets go,Go ,GO!! i screamed
because if we had stayed there for another minute
another movie would've started
and the babies would've again farted
and i would've sat back in my chair
and would've withered up and died

you took away the one thing important to me
shot her in cold blood
she meowed like an angel
and now you sent her to heaven
now i don't have anyone to guide me
to protect me
to teach me to help me
you left me an orphan
forced me to wander the streets
thirsty,hungry,tired and an infant
a drop of white silk
would've been  enough to make my stomach feel full
enough to make me forget my loneliness
even my shadow left me
maybe went with my mother
and forgot about the one in pain
she used to keep me warm
with her soft white fur
as clean as her soul
there is a big hole inside of me
YOU created it
it's bigger than my heart
bigger than me
and definitely bigger than your sins
you will burn in hell
you can pray all you want
but that won't change anything
when you will sleep
you will dream  of me
because i'm your greatest nightmare
and i will haunt you till the day your are placed in a box and buried in the ground
and from that point ,the devil will teach you a lesson
and then you'd want forgiveness
and then you'd beg for mercy
but you will die
just like my angelic  mother did

They sit in a corner
giggling like little Japanese school girls
hide in the shadows of the decent crowd
and manage to escape from the ringmaster
the entire day
but
the ringmaster knows
what they are planning
she keeps an eye on them
even when they think she isn't looking
but she IS shadowing them
while they are hiding in the shadows
she's waiting for them to attempt and fail
so that she can twist their ears
a full 360 degrees
and suspend them from learning
new tricks and acts
stopping them from entering the grounds
which is definitely a dream come true for them
their joker faces
lighting up like Christmas lights
the moment they hear  the news
when they leave
we might finally learn something
but time will fly
and the silence won't last long
because they WILL come back
and when they'll return
we might leave
because they will destroy the silence
make our heads explode
and make our eyes pop out
just so that they can giggle once again
and hide in the shadows of the decent crowd

we are driving to the farm
it'll take about 6 hours
and that's if there isn't much traffic
but it's worth it
cuz i'll finally be able to feel the country breeze
the feeling of escaping the city smoke can't be explained
the car is going really slow
my head is spinning
while my brother is secretly grinning at me
embarrassing me in front of grandma
night was lurking around the edges of the grasslands
and i was all ready to rest
but there was this weird feeling inside of me
making me feel insecure
that if i slept something might happen
but that didn't stop me
cuz i was already dreaming
about the grass under my feet
the sky above me
and the stream flowing beside me
finally we have reached
and i can actually feel the grass beneath my feet
even though it's a little more prickly
and even though the sky is in 3 shades of grey
and even though the stream besides me is filled with trash
it's better than the noise of the horns in the city
the traffic,the pollution,the grumpy people and the
hard cold ground on which nothing grows
the grass under my feet
is better than standing on floors made of concrete

The house next door is creepy
has the weirdest security system
is surrounded by overgrown forests
sitting alert in their pots
I've been in there once
the roof was leaking
the floorboards were vigorously creaking
and i saw these huge mouse traps in the bin
grasping tails and limbs of freakishly large mice
the couch couldn't be classified as a couch
it was just a bag in the corner of the room
the kitchen smelled like blue cheese
and when we went in the lounge
you could see dust and hair in the air
made me wanna stop breathing
that's why we couldn't stand it any second longer
me and my mom
so that's why we got out as quickly as we could
and two moons later
we shifted
because you could smell their filth
all the way down the street.

Why'd you leave?
was it something i did?
or was it something I didn't?
how could you do this to me?
why would you do something like this?
I relied on you
you were my protector,my savior,my role model
and now suddenly you packed your bags and left
didn't you love me?
well
if you did, you'd be making me breakfast right about now
but i guess i wasn't worth your love
now I should get use to waking up and not have you in the next room
on Saturdays watch a movie without your buttered popcorn
but did you even once think about me?
how will i survive?
did you ever look back?
or not
too busy enjoying your life?
i will never forget you
i hope you won't too
i don't think i can move on
get over you
because you played a major role in my life
but did you realize that?
NO,OF COURSE NOT!!
because if you did you'd be right beside me
running your hand through my hair
and kissing me on my cheek
and watching me
until i went to sleep
to dream about you.

Through my eyes everything seemed perfect
everything is luxurious
through my eyes i saw
the Waldorf Astoria
continental breakfasts,cruises,jets,limos
All i saw are  expensive watches,sun glasses
the best of everything
but what i couldn't see was
the famines in Africa
the wars in Syria and Afghanistan
the everyday killings,kidnappings,heists
I was surrounded by luxuries
blocking out all the evil
I was surrounded by an army of guards
I never realized
that they weren't paid to follow me,
they were there to protect me
but i never appreciated them
their bravery
and in a blink of an eye
I HAD LOST EVERYTHING
and suddenly
the people in Africa were eating
the wars ended
the killings,murders,heists were being controlled
and everything through my eyes were
mud houses,donkey carts,torn clothes
boiled potatoes and peas
and the rich people who enjoyed all the things i once had

why do we hate?
why is there tension between Hindus and Muslims?
why is there tension between Muslims and Christians?
we are all people,humans
no matter what
shape
color
religion
or nationality
i'm a Muslim
do i hate anyone?
how will anyone know?
but that's the point
if no one knows
then it will grow
and things will get worse
share so that we can solve
look past the differences
be the bigger person
we can't be enemies till the ends of time
we can't create hatred because of stuff that happened a long time ago
bury the hatchet
and live in peace
connect,live,enjoy
everyone has a mind
they can make their own choices
so if a person chooses to follow Christianity or Islam or Hinduism
let them
you have no right to decide what is right or wrong?
nobody does
and those who pretend they do need to stop
we don't know about the hereafter
we don't know about our past
but we need to stop destroying the present
Americans can live with Pakistanis
I know Indians can live with Pakistanis
so take a step
make a difference
and try to erase all the differences

The world is covered with oceans
of knowledge and of course water!!
many learned men have come and gone
but have they really learned it all?
i don't think so
humans are advancing
upgrading,updating,inventing
but did they invent flying cars?
teleporters,talking mirrors?
NO
we still have a lot to learn
and in the ocean of knowledge
a whole lifetime's work
is just a drop in the ocean
nobody can learn everything
not in a 100 lifetimes
because there is no end
it's not like a book
if it had an ending
it'd be finished by billions of people
but in order to gain all the knowledge
we humans might have to stop progressing
and in this fast life
if we stop
we might come to a halt permanently
we want to know everything
sometimes we need to know everything
and at times we have to know everything
but you gotta face the truth
accept the facts
and stop trying so hard
because no matter what
we can't learn it all

It's really hard to maintain your relationships
there are just too many
but
each of them hold a special place in our heart
the most important relationships
are with the people in your family
family introduces love to you
family expresses love towards you
and family shouldn't be forgotten
old memories fade
when new are created
our lives change
as we leave our old ones
but the one thing that will  not fade or be left behind is
family.
they shouldn't be forgotten
they wouldn't be forgotten
and even if you tried
they couldn't be forgotten
you will leave this world just like you entered
with no teeth and few strands of hair
but at least you enjoyed your years
surrounded by family
loved by family
and a part of a lovin' family

Friends are complicated
friends want to know everything
they are curious about
your test marks
your report card
who you like
your friends' secrets
who you hate
why do they have to do this
i mean don't they have a life?
blah blah blah
you know they say 'the cat died of curiosity'?
if my friends were cats they wouldn't have died of curiosity
they would've ****** the life out of me
until i gave up
and then they will rest
wow!!!
it's like they want to control every part of your life
and want an update once something interesting happens
they are so immature
if you don't tell them what they want to know
they will
bribe you
blackmail you
threaten to tell your other secrets
and even if that doesn't work
they do something unbelievably stupid
privacy is also a thing
and then suddenly they aren't your friends
but it's not your fault
if they want to act childish,fine
if they were your true friends
they would understand
and stop bugging you

At times the halls are really creepy
they are walked on by bizarre characters
who have completely lost it
gone cuckoo
they roam around like zombies
drooling on the floors
sometimes going rogue
bouncing of the walls
biting people
screaming
but then the authorities come
try to control it
and end up injecting them
with something that makes them sleep
to calm down
and change from their beastly forms into humans
crazy ones but at least they change
they are transferred from one room to another
those who have changed
into sane humans
are released in the world
but those who are not sane
will be imprisoned there for life
disappointing the halls
for they were tired of being drooled on
for being jumped and bled on
but at least the halls weren't in a school
in fact a mental hospital
but what's the difference
the children are insane in both of them
and end up driving the teachers crazy as well

I was sliding down the hill
it was very cold
i was gaining speed
slidin' to my death
faster and Faster
and FAster and FASter
and FASTer and FASTEr
and FASTER until
I was coming to a halt
i lost speed
and i went Slower and SLower
and SLOwer and SLOWer
and SLOWEr slow SLOWER
and then i flew
higher and higher and higher
until i reached heaven
and then i found a mountain
and then well you know the rest!

Sometimes i think
"why am i here?
what's my purpose?"
when i wake up in the mornings
there is this depressing feeling in me
makes me feel so shallow
meaningless
when i fail
when i stumble in life
I ask myself
"am i a failure?"
"do I even have a bright future?"
but that's wrong
i need to stay strong
and move on
correct my mistakes
achieve my goals
and stop having suicidal thoughts
even when i fail.

My life has been fun
it's been easy ,it's been tough
I've been always trying to please people
mainly in my school
but sometimes when I get the results
of pleasing them
and they aren't what I expected
It completely breaks my cycle
I'm not able to think or attempt properly
it's destroys my confidence
and
there is the crying feeling in me
like my soul is crying
screaming"WHAT DID I DO WRONG,WHAT DID I DO WRONG?"
and that depressing feeling becomes a guilty feeling
like a huge part of me is disappointed
which makes me feel worse
and to recover from that emotional wound
does take a lot of time
and when it does
i have already gotten my next results

People expect a lot
I,myself do
but most of the time I expect the best
from myself
I don't like putting up or displaying stuff that is average
that isn't excellent
but good
It's like saying"If I don't like it, I won't swallow"
and when because of the circumstances
If i do put up such kind of work,I'm not proud of it.
when i'm  assigned something
I take it seriously
I enjoy doing it
but when people expect a lot
they expect a lot from me
and I deliver
but sometimes because of the people i work with
We can't deliver perfection
maybe because of they don't want to do it
they want to get over with it
which ruins my name
smudges my reputation
I have seriously worked too hard to get on the top
and because of certain characters
I think,because of the comments we sometimes get
that it was my fault
I worry too much and I trust easily
but I don't let anyone take advantage of me
but because the people know this
they purposely don't do the work
and so that my reputation isn't ruined
I HAVE to do it
which is not fair
because in the end
if I get negative comments
then it's not worth it.

People take advantage of me
I don't think it's fair
I try not to let them
but
If I don't do the work
who will?
certainly not them
because of them
I only sleep 4 hours a day
and when the weekend comes
I'm extremely tired
but I still try to enjoy
going to my friend's party
going to watch a movie with my family
but I can't
I'm always planning stuff
planning my summer vacations
sometimes to weird places like
Nepal
Sri Lanka
Taipei
planning my future
where I'll study
where I'll live
what will I drive
how I'll contribute to the world
with all of this
i still make time to enjoy
study,achieve,have fun
and it's very tiring
I can't live like this
with the pain in my body
my legs,my feet,my head,my back
but so much time has passed
that I've gotten used to it
maybe because of my life
I sometimes think
"how it'd be great to live up to 150 years?"
maybe because I don't have time to  live my life now
and I'd live it when I'm older.

Right now i don't have time
to live life one step at a time.

Life is too short
people have dreams
I have dreams
and I really want to live them
I keep thinking
like when I'm writing a poem
I'm already thinking of the next one
when I lie down on my bed
I organize my thoughts
plan the next day and try to sleep
Even when i'm sleeping I think
what I'm going to do next in my life
and when I'm thinking
I mumble in my sleep
"mom,breakfast please"
which is silly
everything rushes through my brain
it's like a traffic jam up there!!
It's really stressful
I'm always planning ahead
not living in the moment
like if I'm going to party
I think"where will we go next?'
and I love to go from one place to another
I'm a modern Bedouin!!
there are so many ideas in my head
ideas i want to execute
show the world
make my family proud
I want to make a change
I want people to live their lives to the fullest
not throw it away
and I'm not saying this to impress people
to pretend so that people say"WOW,this guy is serious"
I mean what I say
and i don't get people's hopes up
just so that i can let them down
that'd be wrong
there's so much to do in the world if we open our eyes
we might see what needs to be done
rather than following a path which isn't yours.

"O Allah!
please show me a path
a path of ease
a path of joy
forgive me if I have sinned
stop punishing my family if I have sinned
show some mercy towards us
change our future
my parents can't eat
instead they give their food to my 8 siblings and me
so that we won't starve
so that we won't die
their face can't even be called a face
they look like thin sticks
bless us with something
please answer my prayers
so that we can smile
I can't remember the last time we smiled
I can't remember because there is always a tensed look
on everyone's face
please show us the the path
to happiness
to togetherness
I pray to You
because i believe
I believe that we will find a solution
with the help You will give us
give us an opportunity
to make our lives better
Amen"
This prayer is said by all those
who can't
feed their children
who can't support their pare\nts
who can't help their relative in their time of need
they have no choice but to pray
but WE have a choice
by helping them
relieving them from their pain
letting them breathe
loosening the noose that is around their necks
so tight around their necks
not letting them breathe
not letting them be happy

When i hear
the sound of laughter
when i make someone laugh
I feel proud
like I accomplished something
which is weird
because I don't think many people
feel proud by making someone laugh!!
it's a wonderful feeling
to be surrounded by happy people
they say
"laughter is the best medicine"
and they're right
it really is
it can relieve someone from their pain
erase all the sadness
help make new,better,happier memories
we all need a bit of laughter in our lives
because the stress is burdening us
it's like a noose around our necks
and with the help of laughter
it can be loosened

They always promise
but never fulfill
they act like everything is okay
after letting you down
again and again
and then expect you
to be happy
to not frown
and destroy the mood
but if they wanted that
they shouldn't have let me down
so I wouldn't have also
and then i can be happy
and grateful
but you can't expect me
to always understand
you guys also need to understand
If you were promised something
and didn't get
I know you'd be bummed
same is the case with me
but you just don't understand
you never understand

Once I went to live in another country
study in an another school
a huge school
i made many friends
there were a lot of nice teachers
but one day when i was waiting for my ride
i saw
a huge pumpkin
walking out of the school
he had warts on his face
covered with his maroon beard
he was wearing a wig clearly
because the wind was blowing hard
and i could see his bald head
when the wig kissed his cheeks
his hands were pink and sweaty
and he was wearing clothes of the 7th century
when he spoke on the phone
he spat
and rivers of spit
traveled down his shirt
and the shirt was the funniest piece of clothing on him
it looked like he had tied a curtain around him
and pinned it with safety pins
the buttons were about to fly
they couldn't hold on
even though he was wearing a shirt which was XXXXXXXXXXL
on the back of his pants there was ****
bird **** to be specific
and when his car came
it took him 8 minutes easy
just to fit in the car
and the driver drove slow
because the car could've tipped
because of his weight
the next day
i asked my teacher who was that hideous
ugly looking man that went in a black Mercedes yesterday
she looked at me in shock and said
"that's the principal my boy!!"
and suddenly I turned red
just like the pants he was wearing!!

Last fall we went to a funeral
it was a terrible scene
none of the people there
were sad
were mourning their loss
they were happy
they were acting as if
nothing had happened
then i thought
how long do i have?
i don't want to go
what if i haven't done enough good things
I don't want to go to hell
the fear inside of me
makes me fear death
makes me fear my grave
makes me pray for forgiveness
but what if i haven't prayed enough?
what if i have sinned?
I don't want to die
why does the world have to be so cruel
why can't everyone live forever
if someone dies
it makes other people's lives difficult
but what can we do?
we'll just have to wait
wait for the end
waiting to reach the finish line
of the race called life
i wish there was something in our way
to stop us from aging
to stop us from dying
to stop us from reaching the finish line

was so happy
my whole life ahead of me
I had so much to do
so much to see
I barely got out of my shell
and explored
and suddenly
I got the news
that i was about to die
I stopped listening
when words like cancer and death
started coming out of the doctors mouth
i couldn't believe
i wouldn't believe
but I had to
i could see inside my soul
and search the happy days
the sad days
but all i found was death
my soul was about to be released
from the cage
I would've had to leave
my family
my friends
my world
and leave everyone in pain
to mourn
but then forget me
to make room for more sorrow

Have you ever waited
for a long time
for something you really wanted
but others didn't have time
to do something about it
just making you wait and wait
until you forgot
and they also didn't have to do anything
but you don't forget
you remember that you wanted something
and no one paid attention
it's like you were chatting with the walls
but even after a long
time
you WILL remember
the time you waited so long
and when you were finally going to get it
it wasn't there no more

can't hold on much longer
what am I gonna do?
It's not my fault
mom made so much food
and I drank so much soda
then suddenly
everything was falling
off the table
on the floor
and we were clinging on to our lives
everybody took turns
to go in the cave
everybody relieved
and at last it was my turn
to use the toilet!!

We all know life is difficult
if you're weak, you won't survive
if you're strong , you might last longer
but you've only lived a wonderful when you get the following
love
respect
A+'s
A job YOU love
your  family
your children
their laughter
the tears in your mother's eye when she is proud
your father cheering for you
even if it's a chess match
An exciting adventure
a trip around the world
saving a life
praying 5 times a day
sitting on the one ride you've always feared
the joy of having friends
the sense of satisfaction from helping people
meeting your idols
and most importantly
keeping everyone happy
making everyone forget depression
ans sending out positive vibes wherever you go

They never had a guardian
no one from birth
they have no one to guide them
to teach them the right things
they don't have a shadow
over them
to protect them from evil
to protect them from the world
they are thrown in these buildings
to rot
to die
to suffer
with people ,unknown
they are treated like servants
taught to be servants
of the rich
if
they free them from that place
and imprison them
in fancier buildings
but still
treat them like servants
they live harsh lives
those who are weak
**** themselves
and those who have no choice
live with the pain inside them
until they can't
they are orphans

There are people in his world
who envy him
who are jealous of him
they express it very well
grunt on his success
make him feel different
they're just insecure
they don't want to work
but they don't want him to succeed
they make him feel lower than trash
call him all sorts of things
geek
nerd
******
but that still doesn't get to him
he stays strong
to secure his future
he has no friends
maybe 1 or 2 at the most
when he goes to a party
and he's rarely invited
he sits in a corner
and reads a book
enjoys by himself
no one cares about him
they walk past him
like he's invisible
he tries to blend in
but there is a wall stopping him
the wall of insecurity
the wall of immaturity
the wall of stupidity
he has talent
but no one is able to see it
and that is really bad
because he's got a lot to share
but just needs a friend
to share it with

Happiness is a great feeling
those who are wise
can only find true happiness
they an identify happiness
spread it,experience it and share it
with everyone
not all are blessed
with this gift
happiness is around you
inside you
and beneath you
it can erase all sorrows
remove the darkness
in you
happiness is a rare emotion
to everyone
happiness is different
some get it from
family
work
love
money
or respect
everyone deserves it
but only few get it