I drove to the bank yesterday
I drove to fill my gas tank,Easter day

my dad went fishing with his friend today
and why shouldn't they?

leave me in the house
its no problem
i'll just sit and stare at the walls
take my brother too so there's no one to play

don't bother stocking up the fridge
forget about the electricity bill

mom's on the other side of the bridge
working for us
earning for us
just like dad

the clouds are crying like me
their tears falling on the roof
like marbles on the floors

the TV isn't working
neighbors are off skiing in Aspen
and i'm stuck at home

why can't I go fishing?
no room for me?

when will I go to Aspen?
when everybody will be going for vacations to Antartica?

this life's no life
trapped in the house,no phone

shoes muddy
hair curled up
breath smelling like socks

the day is over
but my complaints aren't

mom and dad are home
relaxing in front of the TV

Is EVERYTHING fine now?
Can I stop complaining now?
and MAY I go to sleep now?
Because i'm tired of complaining
now.

I thought that you were angry with me
you expressed it fairly well
ran me over with a car
I almost bled to death
not that you would care
then you come cryin' to me
and then expect me to forgive you
that fake sorry look on your face
isn't going to melt my heart
isn't going to make me forget that incident
it's imprinted in my memory
scarred it as well as damaged it
i can't even look at you
i never thought, out of all the people
YOU'D do this to me
it's not just about the pain
it's about the fact that you would attempt something like this
why not just stab me in the heart with a knife
rather than hurting me 10 times more
emotionally,physically and any other way imaginable
just get away from me
stay away from me
so that i can heal myself
and the memories of you can slowly fade

there is no noise in the backyard
there are no voices in the backyard
but
go close to the bushes
and see

the slimy snail sneaking up to the strawberry
lying in the muddy pond

oh snail!!!
go slow

the bed of brown is cracking beneath you

go close to the trees and see

the leaf from the tree high above
is falling towards its grave
awaited by the worms

the roses were blooming
the berries looked ripe
filled with juice
filled with sugar
filled with sweetness

the rays of warmth
passed through the branches

the sun passed over my house
the moon snuck up
and shone a dim light across my little forest
and all my creatures drowned in the darkness

waitin' to be rescued by the hands of heat
waitin' till the moon went clockwise from south to west
so that they can lift above the shadows
reveal their colors
open their wings
and let the wind push them back

then

i will set foot in my forest
and explore the wonders
that hid from me today.

what's wrong???
i feel weak when i'm sick
it's like every time i open my mouth
i'm gonna cough or ***** or maybe even stop breathing
the pain in my fingers when i'm writing is unbearable
i feel dizzy
it's like i'm gonna fall
and i fell
but really i'm just sitting

i can see colors and patterns floating in the air
makes me wonder "am i crazy?"
the lids want to close
but i'm resisting so that i can see
i can barely eat
i rarely sleep

i can't move my legs or arms
because they're so stiff

i need to feel better!
i need to get up,go to the doctor,and finally take my medicine

i can't see anything because it's really dark
and grandpa's back is blocking my view
i can't hear anything except the music
it's really loud
i can taste something crunchy
but i don't know what it is
hope it's not a cockroach
because i'm pretty sure mum didn't buy anything
i feel congested because i'm crammed between my cousins
i wish i couldn't smell because i think some kid just pooped his pants
ewwww now i really want to leave
the situation is getting worse by the minute
even the slightest sound is pinching my head
the air filled with a foul smell
which resembled puke
i want to blast this whole place with a nuke
can this day get any worse?
oh finally this nightmare was coming to an end
people are finally leaving with either family or friends
looking all jolly and satisfied
lets go lets go lets go,Go ,GO!! i screamed
because if we had stayed there for another minute
another movie would've started
and the babies would've again farted
and i would've sat back in my chair
and would've withered up and died

you took away the one thing important to me
shot her in cold blood
she meowed like an angel
and now you sent her to heaven
now i don't have anyone to guide me
to protect me
to teach me to help me
you left me an orphan
forced me to wander the streets
thirsty,hungry,tired and an infant
a drop of white silk
would've been  enough to make my stomach feel full
enough to make me forget my loneliness
even my shadow left me
maybe went with my mother
and forgot about the one in pain
she used to keep me warm
with her soft white fur
as clean as her soul
there is a big hole inside of me
YOU created it
it's bigger than my heart
bigger than me
and definitely bigger than your sins
you will burn in hell
you can pray all you want
but that won't change anything
when you will sleep
you will dream  of me
because i'm your greatest nightmare
and i will haunt you till the day your are placed in a box and buried in the ground
and from that point ,the devil will teach you a lesson
and then you'd want forgiveness
and then you'd beg for mercy
but you will die
just like my angelic  mother did

They sit in a corner
giggling like little Japanese school girls
hide in the shadows of the decent crowd
and manage to escape from the ringmaster
the entire day
but
the ringmaster knows
what they are planning
she keeps an eye on them
even when they think she isn't looking
but she IS shadowing them
while they are hiding in the shadows
she's waiting for them to attempt and fail
so that she can twist their ears
a full 360 degrees
and suspend them from learning
new tricks and acts
stopping them from entering the grounds
which is definitely a dream come true for them
their joker faces
lighting up like Christmas lights
the moment they hear  the news
when they leave
we might finally learn something
but time will fly
and the silence won't last long
because they WILL come back
and when they'll return
we might leave
because they will destroy the silence
make our heads explode
and make our eyes pop out
just so that they can giggle once again
and hide in the shadows of the decent crowd