How can I pretend that I don't see
What you hide so carelessly?
I saw her bleed
You heard me breathe
And I froze inside myself
And turned away
I must be dreaming

We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you

It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No, I must be dreaming

Help you know I've got to tell someone
Tell them what I know you've done
I fear you but spoken fears can come true

We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you

It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No, I must be dreaming

We all live and
We all die but
That does not begin to justify you

It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No, I must be dreaming

Not what it seems
Not what you think
I must be dreaming
Just in my mind
Not in real life
I must be dreaming

You are nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak my name in the **** way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without a trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was: there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind when I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

What if you slept
And what if
In your sleep
You dreamed
And what if
In your dream
You went to Heaven
And there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower
And what if
When you awoke
You had that flower in your hand
What then?

I can feel a phoenix inside of me
As I march alone to a different beat
Slowly swallowing down my fear

I am ready for the road less travel
Suiting up for my crowning battle
This test is my own cross to bare
But I will get there

It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called
Standing on the front line when the bombs start to fall
I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames
Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall
I can't ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

I can feel this light that's inside of me
Growing fast into a bolt of lightning
I know one spark will shock the world

So I pray for a favour like Esther
I need your strength to handle the pressure
I know there will be sacrifice
But that's the price

It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called
Standing on the front line when the bombs start to fall
I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames
Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall
I can't ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

I can see the writing on the wall
I can't ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?
At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?

Heavy is the head that wears the crown
Don't let the greatness get you down
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
Don't let the greatness get you down

I can see the writing on the wall
I can't ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

I can see the writing on the wall
I can't ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?
At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?

Why can't it be perfect?
This love's not even real
Why don't I cry for you
From words dead from the start

I don't want you
I don't need you
I'll forget you
It doesn't matter
I'll play along
Writing our song
We are perfect
I love you

No, this is all wrong
Why aren't you gone?
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be
So perfectly happy

The lies you've succumb to
Blissfully unaware
I don't know how you can't see through my facade

I don't want you
I don't need you
I'll forget you
It doesn't matter
I'll play along
Writing our song
We are perfect
I love you

No, this is all wrong
Why aren't you gone?
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be
So perfectly happy

And maybe one day I'll
Get to see your smile
In the arms of someone
That loves you like I do

No, this is all wrong
Why aren't you gone?
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be
So perfectly happy

It's true, we're all a little insane
But it's so clear now that I'm unchained

Fear is only in our minds
Taking over all the time
Fear is only in our minds
But it's taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes
And testify
You know you live to break me, don't deny
Sweet sacrifice

One day I'm gonna forget your name
And one sweet day you're gonna drown in my lost pain

Fear is only in our minds
Taking over all the time
Fear is only in our minds
But it's taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes
And testify
You know you love to hate me, don't you honey
I'm your sacrifice

I dream in darkness
I sleep to die,
Erase the silence,
Erase my life.

Do you wonder why you hate?
Our burning ashes blacken the day
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?
A world of nothingness, ******* away

You poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes
And testify
You know you live to break me, don't deny
Sweet sacrifice

You know you're not the only one
When they all come crashing down, midflight,
You know you're not the only one.
When they're so alone they find a back door out of life.
You know you're not the only one.

We're all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing.
Heaven shine a light down on me.

So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized.
You know you're not the only one
Never understood this life.
And you're right, I don't deserve
But you know I'm not the only one.

We're all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing.
Heaven shine a light down on me.

Don't look down,
Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you.
Don't look down, you'll fall down,
You'll become their sacrifice.

Right or wrong.
Can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you.
If I can't feel, I'm not mine,
I'm not real.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing,
Heaven shine a light down on me.

I tried to **** my pain
But only brought more
So much more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

I want to die!!!

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide

You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

Taking over me
You're taking over me
Taking over me
Taking over me

It’s too late to change your mind
Even though this fragile world is tearing apart at the seams
We can’t wash these sins away
This sinking feeling everyday: I’m waking up in someone else’s life

Is it so hard for you?
'Cause it’s so hard for me
To believe that what we dreamed could ever come to life again
'Cause I cannot erase this lie

Not gonna let this day go by
I’m gonna save this wasted life
And nothing can stand in my way
Not enough to say goodbye
Burn it til there’s nothing left
I’m drowning in the mess that I have made

Is it so hard for you?
'Cause it’s so hard for me
To believe that what we dreamed could ever come to life again
'Cause I cannot erase this darkness in me

The water’s rising around us
There is no other way down
I only have myself to blame for it all

Is it so hard for you?
'Cause it’s so hard for me
To believe that what we dreamed could ever come to life again
If I could just erase my mind
But I cannot erase this lie

To the gods of the north, I pray
And raise my cup for the fallen ones
Then I cry
In Valhalla they'll sing

Rain
Red blood keeps pouring down
Come Valkyries, join me on that final ride

Here I lie bleeding
Odin, I await thee

The battle rages on

New lines they're weaving
The future, the past and the present
They're one
They will reveal their mask
To show me a way to survive
This bitter war

Soon it will be over
He will be the one
We'll weave in

And terror will now rule these lands

When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home
When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home

Destiny
A spinning wheel
The path of glory
Round and round
come join us
On your final ride to Asgard
Let's move on fast
Allfather waits
So let's heed the final call

For now
We leave this world behind
It's over

All glory to the brave
Still blood will rain
Through storm and fire
Let war winds reign
It's the feast for the crows

Follow the light
Just follow the light
Or fade away

Soon it will be over
He will be the one
We'll weave in
and terror will now rule these lands

When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home
When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home

We'll keep on weaving
We're crushing through lines
With our battering swords
We're marching on
Assign the brave
To survive
This bitter war

Soon it will be over
He will be the one
We'll weave in

And terror will now rule these lands

When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home
When the battle is lost
And the slain ones are chosen
Valkyries will guide us home
We'll heed the final call
A call to arms
The Valkyries will guide us home

The finally I hear them say
Carry on
For Valhalla awaits you

No sign of life did flicker
In floods of tears she cried
All hope's lost it can't be undone
They're wasted and gone

Save me your speeches
I know (They blinded us all)
What you want
You will take it away from me
Take it and I know for sure
The light she once brought in
Is gone forevermore

Like sorrowful seagulls they sang
(We're) lost in the deep shades
The misty cloud brought
(A wailing when beauty was gone
Come take a look at the sky)
Monstrous it covered the shore
Fearful into the unknown

Quietly it crept in new horror
Insanity reigned
And spilled the first blood
When the old king was slain

Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Immortal land lies down in agony

How long shall we
Mourn in the dark
the bliss and the beauty
Will not return
Say farewell to sadness and grief
Though long and hard the road may be
But even in silence I heard the words
An oath we shall swear
By the name of the one
Until the world's end
It can't be broken

Just wondering how
I can still hear these voices inside

The doom of the Noldor drew near

The words of a banished king
I swear revenge
Filled with anger flamed our hearts
Full of hate full of pride
We screamed for revenge

Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Immortal land lies down in agony

Vala he is that's what you said
Then your oath's been sworn in vain
(But) freely you came and
You freely shall depart
(So) never trust the northern winds
Never turn your back on friends

Oh I'm heir of the high lord!
You better don't trust him
The enemy of mine
Isn't he of your kind and
Finally you may follow me
Farewell
He said

Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Immortal land lies down in agony

Back to where it all began
Back to where it all began

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

Fifty-thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me

Going under

Don't want you hand this time, I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily, defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I ca't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm

So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

I'm going under
Going under
Going under

I cannot knock on the door
or ask for extra napkins
I cannot call you and ask how you are
I cannot raise my hand without the fear of being wrong
I cannot hang out with new people
I cannot live my life
It is like being in a cage that is unlocked
I can get out but I have trapped myself
It is like wanting to have friends but cannot hang out
It is like suffocating but I am still breathing
It is not a way to live
It is a way to die

What do you call it when all you feel is pain?
When your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame?
When your tired of living and playing this game?
When you know your life is meaningless and your the only one to blame?

What do you call it when the hurt is in your soul?
When you smile and laugh but you know its all a show?
When you feel like you have hit your all time low?
When nothing makes you happy and the darkness around you grows?

What do you call it when you feel so alone?
When your in your house but it does not feel like home?
When you look back in your life and every choice you made now seems wrong?
When the wait to die seems too long.

I am great, fine, spectacular. In a way
I relish every night, and I live every day.
I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.
The day, and almost impossible task,
Is finally over, and so I lie down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I am not alone, and the mask reappears:
Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I am not okay, I am not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.
But, I am still here, no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.

Frowns and places
singing jesters with
plastic faces, dance for me.
Sweet tasting lemon rind.
Darkness, sharpness why leave me behind?
Stunning, breath-taking beauty
pointless if it cannot be seen
I fought demons from beyond
my own yet to be grave.
Shallow and naive they came.
This is not my dream
Desperate with depict
screaming to be set free.

I cannot comfort you like you deserve. I cannot sympathize with you. I am not going to hold your hand and spare your feelings. I will not be able to say the right words. I am not some amazing girl that you read about in books. Song are not written about girls like me. I am not going to be able to encourage you or lift your spirits. So please, if you are looking for someone that is going to change you and make you a better person, keep looking. Because I will only drag you down with me.

Red is the colour
Of love and desire
A colour of passion
That is meant to inspire

When I return
I will bear a single red rose
To stand for the passion
The desire
That I have found

I will hold it's stem tight
In the palm of my hand
To stand for the love
The compassion
The joy
That I have finally found

But also to stand
For what I have endured
Years of being pushed away
Interrupted
Ignored

Years of being angry

Because when I return
I will give you the rose
As blood drips from my hand
Because every rose
Has its thorns

Woah, wherever do I think I'm going?
Don't know, these clothes are looking pretty showy
Ah, what am I to since nothing's going my way today?

Woah, good thing I didn't wear those heels
Although they always made me feel so tall
But now a casual look will keep me out of sight so I can do my own thing today

Stroll through the alley catching my sight everyday
Ah, this kind if feeling is making my heart pound
Then so suddenly a big gust of wind pushes right back on my hood
And everyone turns so quickly
In the end this weekend isn't going to be relaxing in the least

That's it I am quitting this life
Sure the pay is nothing to complain
My career is just painted with blue
I stand out today, they're looking this way
No more I am fleeing this life
All I've ever wanted was too much
Please stop looking at my face
But I took all these words and pocketed them away

Woah, it's been so long I can't remember
Don't know, I've stuck out like this since forever now
What am I to do since this is normal routine for me

Woah, I know I've heard this said before but
Don't know, the memory won't come
Oh my God, this is too much work just for a girl
But of course, I can never just speak honestly

Shouts fill the air so densely just looking for me
What's the big deal about meeting an idol
Oh hey don't this seem like a fun thing to do, I should've rethought
Cause in the end it turned out badly
But the spotlight then it seemed so bright
I really couldn't turn him down

Hey this life ain't all it had seemed
But those words are hanging on my tongue
Are they really as good as they say
I'm not very fun, why can't I just run
No more I am leaving this life
But those words just never come to life
God you're making me cry now
Yet I hold back the tears and pocketed them away

All this crying does you no good
Can't you hear the cheering from the crowd
All you ever wanted and more
In front of you now, so stand up, be proud
If this life is all it had seemed
Change it and just know you're not alone
Now go out there and show them what you really can do

Somehow singing isn't so bad
I can feel my chest about to burst
Overflowing through every note
I'll plunder your heart, make off with your heart
All those notes I've batted away
Fill this dream and fly straight out to you
Just remember to not blink
We'll be carrying on
Tomorrow is another day

Playground school bell rings
Again
Rain clouds come to play
Again

Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello
I am your mind
Giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't
Believe
Soon I know I'm awake
From this dream

Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello
I'm the lie
Living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello
I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
Now I
Can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
For you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
Now I
Can't let go of this dream
Can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
It's been such a long time coming but I feel good

And I'm still waiting for the rain
To fall
Pour real life down on me
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this
Good enough

Am I good enough
For you
To love me too

So take care of what you ask of me
'Cause I can't say no

I have a best friend, his name is Nobody
Nobody likes me
Nobody cares for me
Nobody notices me
Nobody hugs me when I feel down
Nobody helps me
Nobody talks to me
Nobody loves me
Nobody wants me
I love Nobody too

Life is so amazing;
We humans have different marks on paper or a computer that we can understand and we move our mouth to make different noises that we understand as well. And having different noises in a row that sound barbaric to people that don't speak that language. There's even different languages that people developed over the years...
Then we talk about our ways of life.
There are some people out there that are starving and dying, and then there's people that have so much money and food, they don't have any room for it.
Then we move to our technology.
From dirt and rocks to make weapons to **** for food, and living in caves, and not talking like a normal human being, we came to having houses made of the wood of trees and bricks, and having 3-dimensional beings in a little portable device. And having stop-motion pictures, and 3-D TV's, and computers that have different websites that have completely different stuff on them.
Then we move to music.
Music is so old... probably started when the cavemen started to talk English or something. And there's so much songs about so many different things, and none of them have the same beat or notes in a row. There's probably like, quadrillions of songs out there.
Now for the sciency stuff.
I just think it's so incredible that there's people like Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. I mean, imagine where we would be right now if it weren't for Benjamin Franklin. Thomas Jefferson wouldn't be famous, that's for sure. What about if neither of them existed? Where would we be know? Then there's the people that came up with the idea that there's life that is so small, we can't see it. Then someone invented the telescope so we could examine the moon better. All the constellations out there that tell stories about the Gods and Goddesses. And it's just so astounding how big the Universe is. All those planets out there, we can't be the only living things out there, you know? There is just so much in the world that still needs yet to be discovered. Just think how long it will be until we have teleportation! Then we could teleport our space rovers to different planets and not worry about it getting hit by a meteor.
And people say "The world's not that old! This is only 2015!" Yeah. After the birth of Jesus Christ. Jesus was on Earth 2015 years ago. Before that, people didn't have the system of keeping track of time. Scientists can only tell how Ancient Egypt or Ancient Greece was like because of people writing down their religions. To think if there will ever be some sort of apocalypse and no one wrote anything down and humans came to life gain, it would be exactly like caveman times all over again unless we write down our thoughts anywhere and keep it anywhere. That's what diaries where originally invented for! And if you never thought of thinking of the world this deep before, it's only because you're most likely an outgoing person. Don't ask how I know that.

Well, this closes my thoughts.

Someone's always watching me
Someone's always there
When I'm sleeping he just waits
And he stares
Someone's always standing in
The darkest corner of my room
He's tall and wears a suit in black
Dressed like the perfect groom
Where are you going?
Why won't you stay?
They might be scared of you
But I just want to play
He has no face
He hides with the trees
He loves little children
When they beg and scream

Please

I'm going to write this poem how I talk in real life so... don't judge how I talk!

T-The S-shy One
T-The S-Skid-dish One
Th-Those are m-my nickna-ames
E-Everyone s-says that I-I'm j-just like H-Hoodie from C-Creepypasta
Oo
W-Which I am
B-Because h-he stammers t-too
L-Look him u-up

E-Everyday I'm l-limping down the h-hallway because m-my foot is b-bad and I h-hear:
"There she goes!"
"What's up with the limp?"
"Hey! Hoodie! I have cheesecake!"
S-Seriously
E-Everyone knows a-about C-Creepypasta
M-My best friend is C-Crystal
S-She is my M-Masky
W-We both <3 ch-cheesecake

O-Or I could b-be Canada
Fr-om H-Hetalia
Hetalia i-s an anime o-on Netflix
So yeah that happened Oo

The tale of a girl
The tale of a shy girl
The tale of a sweet shy girl
Her parents didn't see that
Every day she came to school with at least 2 or 3 new bruises or scars
At first I didn't put mind to it
Until she invited me over

She and I were close friends
So she allowed me to read her diary
Her secrets were in my hand
I read it over and over to make sense of it
It didn't make sense

Her mother came in with a knife not knowing I came over
Because she got permission from her dad
She said, "Time for your daily scars!!!!!"
She saw me and hid the knife
But I knew what was going on

We were friends after of course
Inseparable
But one day she didn't come to school...
And I never saw her again...
Realizing she was gone forever was awful
I didn't know what to think

Her mom and dad got divorced
Her mom got arrested
I got interviewed
I still have her diary

The shadows are creeping in
Closer, closer
The light is fading slowly
Slower, slower
The time is running out
Faster, faster
The shadows are growing bigger
Bigger, bigger
My life is slowly draining
Draining, draining
The shadows have taken over...

Would I be at a party?
Sure. In the shadows...
Would I share how I feel?
Sure. Anonymously...
Would I be seen with friends in public?
Sure. Never talking...
Would I share my name?
Sure. Never fully...
Would I be in the center?
Sure. For 2 seconds...
Am I known?
Sure. As "Happily Anonymous"...

There were times when I wonder what it is like to die.
Would it feel like pain? Would it feel like fainting?
Hey look... I'm dead.

They say I'm cold like snow
Here's proof:

Friends?
Roughly 7
All but one sit at the lunch table with me
The boy of course joe
Everyone else are girls
I'll be in my own world while everyone else is
Talking and laughing and I'm
Eating... Listening...
Crystal tries to revive me
Hello?
I looked up
I noticed that the cafeteria got a little quieter
I felt a bunch of eyes stare into my soul
Everyone at my table start staring at me like I appeared out of thin air
Everyone in the cafeteria except for a few tables did
Probably because I did
I looked back down and the cafeteria got loud again
My table still stared at me in awe and they were like
"She looked up!"
"I've never seen her face at that angle in a really long time!"
"***!***!***!***!***!***!***!"
I looked up again
The cafeteria became quiet
I looked down and it became loud again
Crystal playfully poked me
I poked her back harder
The bell rings, we all leave, blah blah blah
I still can't believe everyone did that to me
I can't be center of attention!
I can barely talk to one person at a time!