Sexual Pansexual

Sexual Pansexual Dec 2013

Untitled

Starving.
Aching.
Tired.

Hurting.
Lovesick.
Nauseous.

Depressed.
Lifeless.
Alone.

Hopeless.
Wrecked.
****** up.

*Starving.

Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

*******.

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Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

Grudge.

I know I should be there for you,
I know I should stand up for you,
And I know I should care for you.
But how can I?
I mean after all did you ever do that for me?
When almost the same thing happened,
When everyone was against me.

You turned your back

Even after a year that still digs at me.
I tears into my thoughts.
It hurts.

And I know I'm being childish,
And I swear I truly care about you,
And I would **** anyone who hurt you.
But at the same time I enjoy it,
I like the fact that you can finally feel what I went through.

The relentless bullying,
Your friends turned enemies,
The feeling of all hope lost.

And I know that makes me a monster,
But I can't help it,
Because I have held this grudge for too long.

Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

For Jeremiah

YOU **** A BIG ****.

Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

Monster.

I've been thinking about you again.
Thinking about your smile and the way you talked.
And all the little things you used to do.
But you've moved on,
And I'm glad honestly.
I want you to be happy,
I don't want you to try to chase me.
I have no right to be upset,
But I am.
And it hurts.
I have no right because I pushed you away.
I told you no.
I've turned into the person I've always hated,
A person who only wants what they can't have.
I do this everytime.
When will I stop being afraid?
When will I grow up?
When will I finally say yes?
I don't know,
But I've turned into

*a monster.

For my ex...

Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

Pills

It's hard to breathe.
Waiting for a white light but there is only darkness.
My head spins.
Maybe I took too much this time,
Maybe instead of dulling the pain I ended it.
Thank God I woke up.
I don't know if I'm ready to go.

*Not quite yet.

Sexual Pansexual Nov 2013

The Fear

Im not afraid of the dark,
but what hides behind it.
What's lurking in the unknown,
With red eyes and sharp teeth,
Like the monsters described in fairy tales.

Im not afraid of heights,
But temptation that I might jump off.
Just to end the pain,
Once a for all.

Im not afraid of wild animals,
But of domesticated humans.
Who **** one another for sport,
Whereas animals **** on instinct

I'm not afraid of myself,
But what I might do,
And who I might hurt.
When my world goes black
And there is no one to go to.

These are my greatest fears.