I’ve always loved him from a distance
This time it just feels different
It’s the indifference
Like, our souls they differ and
Im pondering if it’s deliberate
Ending feels imminent
Love in a moments end
Fate is not discriminate
It’s saying that we’re dissonant
Harmonies on a barbiturate
Subtle lies are tasting bitter as,
My intuitions shaking with a vigor
Cause my hearts feeling ambivalent
I can’t make a decision and
I don’t want this to end and
I can’t pretend or understand
How we got here and
I’ve always love him from a distance but this just… feels different.

He speaks to me in silence
Answers my anxiety in a smile.
Poses questions for understanding,
Finds answers and faith for us, in the signs, In the sky, as we lay side by side, separated by miles, he ignores the divide,
He sings to our souls, guides them at night, I watch them collide, I can’t help but surmise,
Sometimes it’s awful to be loved from a distance

I’ve never really liked candles
They’ve always smelled of a kind of peace that was always just out of sync for me.
They’ve always felt like the kind of gift you get from someone who doesn’t care to REALLY want to know you.

I light a candle every night now.
He says he likes the way the flames dance across my skin.
And now they’ll always feel like I can find peace as I sleep.

For lifetimes I’ve loved him, this I know.
Not always in person, but always in earnest, this I know.
Lifetimes I’ve seen, in passing glances on the street.
In peripheral over a book in a tiny cafe in a corner of the world I don’t remember the name of anymore.
I’ve loved him in mountains of multiverses.
As flowers reaching not for the sun but for each other.
Because he has fed my soul for eons.
I’m convinced I’ve touched him.
Passingly and passionately.
A steadying hand in a meet-cute train ride.
Tantalizing touches under stardust skies
I’ve known him by so many names
In so many seasons and every time of day.
He was once my darling at dusk, my lover at first light. My friend in fresh rain.
I’m convinced I’ve known him every form.
Ever and always, a call to home.
And this I know, this lifetime, it’s my favorite.

Your name,
Sown in a moan,
Evoked on a breath,
In oblivions crest,
I want to call you home.

I’m sensitized to his sensual sighs.
He tows the line, invoking highs.
yes, he scatters time, as he dines.
Those tree bark eyes, my cluttered mind,  
writhing thighs, desperate cries.

I shatter when he demands it

Incomplete,
Drowning sins,
Gasping breaths,
Morsels left,
He found me.
Wading
Treading water,
Skirting surfaces,
Searching purposes,
He guided me.

Broken feet,
Withered skin,
Becoming less,
Nothing left,
She found me.
Fading ,
Drowning farther,
Needing healing,
Barely breathing,
She guided me.