She's sitting.
her tears hitting the page.
one. two. one. two.
turn off the World.
shut it all down.
turn on the music.
let it speak for you.
ignore that phone, baby.
don't answer that call.
don't want him to hear those sobs.
it's late.
turn up the music louder.
three. four. three. four.
let it drown you.
don't feel.
cheeks streaked with wet.
tissues won't work.
sogged up.
there's too many coming.
sit in the middle.
it's safer there.
five. six. five. six.
curl up in that ball, baby girl.
feel that pain.
open those scars.
relive those moments.
cry.
cry till you're numb.
that's the only way.
feels good right?
no more pain.
seven. eight. seven. eight.
think again.
you cried yourself to sleep again.
baby girl, you're breaking apart.
do you know what's happening?
you were wrong.
you messed up.
falling for those lousy tricks.
how dare you fall?
nine. ten. nine. ten.
sleep.
it is what death feels like.
nothing.
morning.
searing pain. chest hurts.
puffy eyes.
cold. wet. cold. wet.
normal.
practice that smile.
till it reaches those eyes.
school.
laugh. smile. laugh. smile.
no one knows.
no one sees.
notice me!
these dull eyes. lost their sparkle.
this broken smile.
home.
hold it in.
don't fall. don't fall. victim.
do your work.
you aren't out yet.
night.
repeat.
one. two. one. two.

Dark brown eyes
the color of freshly made dark chocolate
Perfectly sized lips
puckering to perfections
no trying necessary
Mocha skin
tauntingly smooth
soft even
craving for more
A smile so handsome
it can light up a world of darkness
A laugh
only to be made by an angel
A scent
sweet
of love, lost, lust
Leaving means aching
Staying means heart throbbing
No medium
No win
No lose
Just there
Something about him
mysterious
constantly wanting more
needing to know more
wanting his everything
no ties or games
different
There's just something about him

We are sitting side-by-side
not saying anything
just sitting
the silence speaks our words for us
you had asked a question before
Where does all the ****** tension go when you let it out?
the silence tells you this answer
it sits
and sits
until a match is lit
like fire to gas
it's all ignited as one
when our guard is down
inconspicuously enough
every feeling
every thought
is spoken
it's all let out at once
no one can stop it now
where does it go?
is chases back inside us
it takes over our bodies
it controls our actions
we go crazy
needing to let out that tension
one way or another
how to
how to? let it consume us both
take over us both
we will have no memory of what happened
only that we wanted it to happen
with swollen lips
and misty
love-struck eyes
yet nothing is sore...so you tell me
where did all that tension go?

You sit there
with a smile on your face
and an overall
state of grace

Now why
would you sit there
and with all-knowing-ness
see me?

I sit there
with a smile on my face
myself having an overall
state of grace

After all this time
you'd think I would learn
not to fall for one such as you

Yet at the same time
you'd think the exact same
for one such as you

You fell
I fell
something neither of us
could ever take back

To be able to see
but not to touch
to be able to listen
but not to respond
to be able to try
but fail.
in a world full of possible
what I want
is impossible
his voice
sends shivers down my fragile spine
every time I hear him speak
his dark brown eyes
were like an endless pool of mystery
every time they found mine
oh, how I wanted to dive in
I could recognize him anywhere I went
every time I saw him
I could feel the dilation start
my pupils had a mind of their own
uncontrollable in a way
similar to the ways of the heart
always falling
for one you could never have
but finding such an attraction
that you could not stop the thoughts
racing through your head
why is this happening?
surely this isn't love...

Sitting upon a hill
underneath a ginormous oak tree
shedding it's color changing leaves
as they fall around the couple
the girl laughs
the sweet melodic sound
that hypnotizes the boy's very being
he would do anything
to hear her laugh
or even to see her smile
that vibrant smile
that seemed to make her glow
just a little bit more then usual
turning to her
he gently and ever so softly
whispers he loves her
she stops laughing
and turns to face the boy
the sober
yet curious look in her eye
she gets when
she debates doing something or not
slowly
she looks at the boy's eyes
the deep brown if his staring back at her
her's cautiously searching his face
for any false tales
finding none she reaches out with
her slender hands
Oh
the boy thought
how dainty and small her wrists be!
her hands so fragile
used only in the most loving
of affairs
as the girl grabs both sides of the boys face
she then leans forward
her stomach racing
for she has loved him for so long
yet only now
she have the courage to kiss him
as the two's lips met
sparks flew
their world's united
silver chain linked them both
their lives were now intertwined
with the others
without missing a beat
instinctively the boy's hands
found her small waist
FIRE.
the girl's hands went around his neck
FIRE.
every move they made
set off another match
the girl
having started this
gently pushed the boy onto his back
after a few moments
she lift her face form his
her short
dark brown curls so close to jet black
hung around her face
framing the curvature of her high cheekbones
and ****** structure
her hazel almost dark brown eyes
searching his
drinking in his very being
as he her petite frame
everything about him made her very heart swell
never in her life
has she felt this
for anyone
it seemed as if
it could almost be considered
otherworldly
forbidden almost
this passion
this breathtaking admiration they had for each other
then
as quickly as the fire had come
it was gone
yet the burns still remained
you could still feel the heat
radiating off their slim bodies
as they held hands
and left the hill
never to tell of their experience
but to smile and bask at the memory
of which had happened.

I love you
I want you
I want you
to kiss me
kiss me with a kiss
so powerful
it brings me to weep
silent tears of triumph
I want you to need me
need me so much
it hurts to breathe
need me more then
you need air
then life itself
don't you love me?
why would you hurt me so?
why?
did it bring you
sick satisfaction
to see me
on the floor
broken
bleeding
crying tears of red
and watch them
dry red stains
across my face
the pain swallows me up
I cannot take it anymore
I must have a release
my nails grab my forearm
and squeeze
from hurt
despair
finally one breaks through
I am done
I still hurt
but it is easier to cope
I sit in my corner
staring aimlessly
into nothing
I'm broken
my heart betrayed
destroyed
into a million pieces
won't someone
anyone
come save me?
I'm calling for help
I'm reaching out to you
but you need to show me
show me you care
don't tell me you like me
when you've never met me
you don't know me
you know nothing
don't like me because
I appeal to your eyes
you're the new boy
I just met
you can't like me instantly
I told you to stop.
why must you push it?
Please.
Stop.
I'm not ready to hurt again
I just stopped
stop telling me you care
I don't believe you
it's hard for me to believe people
I told you I had to go
you told me you wouldn't hurt me
you would be different
I don't know
I'm sitting here
I'm confused
I'm aching
I feel empty where my heart should be
I want someone to love me
but I cannot trust anyone enough
to get that close
I did it before
I got hurt
no more
I'm terrified
those shivering cold sweats
that's me
what about the other one?
he's easy
I've known him longer
he's fun
he makes me smile
is it so bad to wonder?
the first text I see
when I wake up
the last one I see
when my eyes shut
he seems to care
I don't know
I want my Fairy-tale
I want to be happy
to not deal with this
I want my Prince
in armor so white
it almost looks like heaven
where's my happy ending?
I love you you know
who ever you are
I care so much
it hurts to write this
the emotion
anger
fear
pain
coursing through my veins
my entire body
out of my fingertips
onto this paper
the red stained tears from my eyes
fall onto this paper
don't you want me?
I want you
don't you miss me?
I miss you
don't you love me?
don't you need me?
I do.