Voices, wine, lips, fear, hunger
You reveal your soul as quickly as the memories flash by
Instinctively saying lights, camera, action
While your hazy dreams become as sharp as an arrowhead
That strikes me so suddenly - every hair on my body arises
Individually crawling up my spine slowly
Exposing a certain candid history
To filter out the negativity
That had faded and distorted my thoughts
My perception of time is blurred as I witness you embrace your inner predator

I move closer now, but not too close

Focus, breathe

For if I am captured, I am not certain of my return

|s.s|

You said to trust in you.
As the walls shifted and doors cracked,
as the gasoline dripped and you attacked,
as the ashes piled behind our backs,
you said to trust in you.
You said we'll be okay.
Days, months, years passed by,
my worries transitioned into war cries,
your stern actions became civil in my eyes,
you said we'll be okay.
You said please don't go.
My feeble body couldn't withstand your hold,
your reoccurring apologies soon became foretold,
as the beast inside of you came out and controlled,
you said please don't go.
You said I love you.
Those powerful words meticulously said,
pierced me - all at once there was red,
your pastel lips gently glided onto my forehead,
You said I loved you.

|s.s|

Tell me your dreams
The desires which you so
desperately crave
Tell me so I can see the burning passion
in your piercing eyes
The sparkles that shine so prominently

Tell me your fears
The nightmares where dreaded creatures lurk in the
darkness, attempting to penetrate your mind
Tell me so I can prevent those common shadows before
they befuddle and torment you
The burning fury they obtain when they engulf you
at your most vulnerable state

Tell me how your mind works
The intricate way for which those wonderful
thoughts of yours flow
Tell me how to be so magically profound about
life, time, and death
The ways of straying away from reality to catch
a glimpse of paradise

Tell me the forbidding truth about my unfortunate path
The cold, naked, and abandoned road upon which
I have regrettably travelled
Tell me that paradise is at the bottom of a trench
And I shall allow myself to fall-my life
shall perish happily upon landing in paradise

|s.s|

There's no light anymore
Everything was a lie
I unraveled your unclear thoughts
You muddled mine

You made my black and white world seem alive again
Never knew I was but a game to you
Reality getting tangled up with fantasies
Your truth progressively breaking through

Such a simple action can make all the difference
You would know that though
Painting scenarios with your fine brush
All with the same ending and flow

A precious world like yours must be nice
When problems occur you expect sympathy
A cookie and a crown perhaps
Oh poor you, living in such infamy

Joke is we both lost
I became fragile and fell with grace
Though, I did no pretending
Whereas you have no real face

You shattered me
You refused to pick up the remnants of my soul
You pushed me aside
You don't deserve to feel whole

I'm not wishing bad luck on you
I have no intent on doing so
I'm simply stating your sad reality
In your sea of shame, there's no happiness below

I'll find my voice and lovely melody again
I can promise you this
You keep living your so-called magnificent life
While I live in complete and utter bliss

|s.s|

I see my body
I lie there sleeping, frozen
Though, I'm not alone
A light cracks thru the window
Onto a near, unknown face

|s.s|

Flashbacks keep you paralyzed there
Faces that have come and gone
Places that left you with despair
Words that were said without care
The flow of memories at the break of dawn

|s.s|

As the leaves slowly wither away and fall from their stems
You stay alive and attached to my heart
I can still hear your cheerful voice saying “Hello” and “Bye-bye”
Attempting to speak and understand as much English as possible
Because, unlike my cousins, I did not learn Spanish
You were successful, whereas, I had little success
Although we did not have a deep connection, we did have
Memorable moments that I've kept locked up in my heart
Conversations that have left imprints in my mind
Photographs that tell magnificent stories
You are only distant physically now
And I’m thankful that God allowed me to have these memories with you
Reminding me of how great of a person you were
Despite those dark days when you weren't shining as bright
Those times that made you lonely
Sad
Harsh
Taught you lessons that you kept with you for the rest of your life
You were strong
Smart
Kind
Always striving to become a better husband, dad, grandfather, friend, brother, and a better you
Though you began to become as fragile as a baby towards the end
You were still as strong as Popeye in my eyes
Now I have two guardian angels watching over me
Two angels that I will eventually meet again and rejoice with.

Abuelo, no habla mucho español, pero te amo y I miss you already. I’ll see you again, pero por ahora
Adios.

|s.s|