I  feel like a gun shot .... Blaah

Lord,
I feel like you have not been understanding
I feel like the window of worth has been staged
The bullets are flying from all the unexpected directions
Even from my own
I feel like I have lost everything
And yet I have to come to you to recover it
I have drowned
And yet there is breath within my chest
I cant let go and yet your hand of strength seem to have faded away
I feel abandoned for the right reasons
And yet I still stretch out for mercy
Lift me me one more time

Am turbulent
I am shipwreck
And  even when I am underwater I cant give in
So I  hold on with all my emotions

Its a strange place
Strange indeed
When love is hedged in silence and yet HIS voice means the world to you

I see you vividly in the rails of trauma
Call it drama
Possibly trailing from my mama
A grand pa she had

This thought that I have conceived
Like a river fall it excites my life bed
Flowing through seasons of bountifulness
Scagging the pangs of scarcity
With rhythm, a joy explodes
Existing but unexplainable
Exciting and yet barricaded

You remind me of my pillow
It straightened my neck
Composed my cheeks
Dubbed a smile on my lips
Complex-ed me with a WOW complexion
I now comb less

Yet I gaze
Agape in  awe of having discovered
That you have out matched my pillow