Sitting in the bar just drinking
Tired of waiting for someone who will never come
My brain going overdrive rethinking
I will never reach an outcome
Throwing my glass at the wall
Remembering how it feels to be small
Thinking of where I went wrong
Drowning all of my sorrows and mistakes
Why do I have to be so fake
Looking back and remembering how it feels to have a real smile
Always acting as if I am on trial
But I can not I am too scared
Everything in my fantasy
Just sitting by myself drinking Hennessy

All you have done today is ignore
What have I done wrong?
I will stay up all night
Thinking about it till daylight
I am not alright
But I will pretend
Is this the end?
Give me a chance,
I will try to make amends
Please give me your assurance
I need to know your stance
I will wake up tomorrow
Hoping everything will be normal
It better be
Or I will forever be lost at sea.

You're driving me crazy
I like it like that
Kissing my neck
Your hands trailing down my back
Lying in the sheets
Hearing our hearts beat
The night's bittersweet
Being with you is a blessing
Feeling as if I am in heaven  
Hope it is never ending
But I know you have to leave
At last, they all do
Waiting for you come back
The longer you are gone
Quicker the world turns black
Turns into Armageddon

Hearts pounding in my chest
Feel like somebody is squeezing it with all their strengths
Breathes get deeper
Brains getting foggier
Hearts getting closer
To break
I need you now
I am beginning to shake
Please don't leave me
Hold me tight
More than you ever did before
Not my dreams
But in real life
I do not know how much my heart can take
All it does these days is ache
Being close to you will make my heart stop
But being far makes it drop

I messed up
I ****** up
I blew my chance
And I will never get it back

I always made an effort
To make everything perfect
You sat alone
Driving in your own zone
Blocking my voice with your headphones
Stripping skin off my bones
Leaving me to freeze in the cold
Helped me make my gravestone
Controlled me like a clone
Around you, I was never free
I always loved you more
Then you did me

You are my Jack
I am your Rose
Our love was only a pose
To the outside world
You said you were never going to leave me
Little did I know
You were going to sink to the depths of the ocean
Leaving me stranded
Last time you ever called me your beloved

I watch you silently from the other side of the room
Aching to come near you
Stand by your side
Hear what stories you are telling
Those feelings, I denied
I am a puppet on the string
You might not know it
But I am controlled by your every movement
Your beauty is inhuman
The way you stare into my eyes
Chuckle at my jokes
My stomach fills with butterflies
Igniting my hopes
I want to trail my hands down your body
Hold you tight in my embrace
When you ask me something, the only thing I can say is oui.
Falling under your grace.
You are the one I want to impress
You are the one who makes me feel whole
These feelings I cam not process
You make me feel safe like home.

I'm good at hiding things
Better than a wife hiding her ring
I should tell the truth
I am ruining my youth
I bottle everything I feel inside
I can't take it anymore
No matter how much I tried
I cried myself at night
I wept until I was sore
I couldn't even crawl back to the shore

You said "you hurt me"
Well sorry to break it to you
You hurt me too
You can't unsee the truth
Stop sugarcoating
You can't ignore it
There is no fix
Etched in our minds
Forever
Till the end of time
Don't be so clever
Trying to play your games
I know all your aims
I know you are incapable of sharing the blame
I know you better than you know your name

I love it when you just don't care
I love it when you kiss me like nobody's there
When it gets hard
You are never afraid
You never care what society says
I love it when you do what you want
Even if they said no
Even if later on
They said I told you so
Maybe you should have listened to them
I hate that you just don't care
You should have stopped kissing me right then and there
When it gets hard
You should be afraid
You should care what society says
Run away from me
Run the other way
I hate it when you do what you want
Even if they said no
Even if later on
They said I told you so

Turned it off
Again
I will not turn it back on
That part of me is gone
I do not believe in love
I do not believe in happily ever after
I am stone cold
It is better this way
At least I do not have to run away
Believe it or not
This is my one shot

You pushed me away
You pulled me near
I tried to pray
No matter what I do I always felt the fear
Always fell down the stairs
I started running and running
The world started to look less cunning
Then all I saw was red
I was free
I was finally dead
I was as happy as I could be
That didn't last long
You were way too strong
You see I thought running was the answer
I couldn't be any more wrong
The thing is I did not know you were a necromancer

Baby, you want me out
So you scream and shout
Baby, you want me now
So you dream and pout
Make up your mind
Knowing what you want isn't a crime
At least don't string me along
There's a half and half chance you will be wrong
But if you pick right, we will be dancing in a song
Going far into the beyond
I just need a response
I know it's scary to be strong
If you fall
We fall together
Just give me a call
Love like ours can not measure

You walk around in your attire
Igniting my desires
Let me be its buyer
I want you
And I know you want me too
Without you, I am feeling blue.
Wanting to run into your arms
What's the harm?
You are scared of getting hurt
Well so am I
So let's put our differences aside
And live in the moment
Before it's too late
And what we feel gets delete.

I lost my best friend the day I made that choice
It's torture that she can't remember my voice
All the pain I caused will always eat me up inside
You were there for me
Turned a blind eye on my flaws
Followed all the law
A strong sense of the cause
I'll regret forever that I hurt you
You held me together with your glue
You always came through
My decision is the reason you are gone
And I wish you could hear this song
Of the hurt, pain and the rain
But maybe you, not remembering will be a gain

Sometimes I feel you are feeling the same
But then you go and give me fix feelings
What do you want from me
When you stare into my eyes
We feel a spark
Then you go talk about other girls
Pushing me into the dark
I feel like I want to hurl
But I smile and agree
Acting as if I am happy
I can not make a move
What if you disapprove?
What if I am just naive?
What if you are just thirty?
What if I am a mere nominee?

You twirl me around in your arms
Lift me up in the sky
Feeling so high
You exceeded my expectations
I didn't know about the consequences
Like how broken I would feel
When you left me
The tears running down my face  
Becoming as fragile as a vase
Every step I take
Would remind me of all the memories
I can never erase
Even after all these years
No matter how much you hurt me
We can never become enemies
No matter how much we argue
I will always remain in love with you

Suddenly your name on my phone
Doesn't make me smile anymore
Brings back all the memories
Of the pain and the hurt
And how I am the one to blame
You wanted to help
I pushed you away
Left you wondering why you ever called me babe
I was the worst decision you could ever make
The feelings of guilt I can never shake
If only you hadn't jumped in front of that truck
On the freeway
If you didn't get in the way
You wouldn't have to pay
Forever on a holiday

I'm lying
To keep me upright
Waiting for the encore
Just opening the door.
Help Myself
Help Yourself
Why are we so confusing
In the end, we are the only people losing
We got to keep on living this lie
As long as we are alive
Until we die
We will not lose hope
But we will lose our minds
We terrified inside
Of what is fated
Between this long blurry endless lines.
People can see
That we are not as happy as can be
They always ask me
They always ask you
"Who are you into"
"Nobody"
We are torturing ourselves emotionally
Mentally
"I am so sorry"
We tell ourselves along the way
But we never change
The glances we engage
"I will do it today"
We say
But we never do
What's new?

Run as far away as you can
Before I leave you
In a trance
With no chance
Hollow
You will find it difficult to swallow
Taste nothing but sorrow
Broken
Used you like a coupon
Your happiness will be forgotten
Run before all you can do is regret
Blaming me for the neglect

Bringing light to a world that only seems dark
It is not easy as you think, it is only hard
Stepping away from the shadows and embracing who we are
May sound like our personal Alcatraz
We are so set in our own paths it's difficult to look around
If we don't we will soon fade to the backgrounds.
Hoping and wishing to become someone who we are not
Only creates our doom and makes us stiff like a blood clot.
Why can't we appreciate who we are
Because we are cowards too scared to embrace the star.

I wish we never have to say goodbye
Because it's so right
The way you smile at me
Makes my life worthwhile
I am wondering why
There is always a spark in your eyes
When you look my way
As if I am the one thing that is making your day

I stand there naked
Nothing is protecting me anymore
I try to strip away my layers
I pull them closer to me in fear.
I look in the mirror
Scars trailing down my body
Reminders of all the battles I have lost
I am sitting there in my Audi
Reminiscing about the good times
My skin is coated in frost
No heat can ever warm me up
I am beyond repair
I am thinking of how much I ******* up
I am far worse than an affair

I lay awake thinking about you
Your hands in my hair
Your clothes in my room
Your smile shining so bright
Creates a path of light
In my dark life

I can not try
I need to leave you behind
I hope you can understand
It is best for everyone if you just move on with your life
Loving me is suicide
Listen to the voices inside your mind
What they are telling you is right
Don't doubt
Stuck in jail
I am here to bail you out.

I stand in the rain
Watching fall slowly around me
You open my locked heart with your key
It seemed impossible
Was I being too gullible
I never know why
But I complied
No second thoughts clouding my mind
I was blind
You won me over too easy
Around you, I felt tipsy.
Maybe it was a mistake
Guess we'll know when I awake

I drift away slowly
You can try to save me
But you won't succeed
I am too far gone
Consumed by all the greed
I can not turn my switch back on
Embracing my darkness
Watching the blood slip through my fingers
My reputation has been tarnished
Pulling all the triggers
Laughing at all the pain
Having no weakness
Is the only way
Why should I change
What can I say
I am deranged
Am I being awful?
No I am only normal
Why? Because I am mortal

I am so cold
I would freeze your bones
You deserve so much better
I am as light as a feather
Hoping you can move on
Enjoy the show
People will come and go
I do not deserve you
I don't fit in with your crew
I am not a book you can renew
You have to wash me away like shampoo
Shake me off like a flu
I am not good enough for you.

Pain never goes
Light never stays
The only thing that remains
Are you in my embrace

You haven't killed me
But I cry
Every night
I'm only half alive
I am so close to breaking
You have taken everything
I have nothing left
You convinced me I am a deadly sin
I will never be the same
I guess that was your aim
Broke me down shamelessly until I couldn't bear the pain
Filled with nothing but shame
Who's to blame
You?
Or me?
Who followed you blindly

Can I let go of my pride
My fear of rejection
Staying away from you is like only inhaling carbon dioxide
Love spreading in my body becoming an infection
The longer I stay away
The closer I am drawn near
You stay in my mind day by day
When you're around there is nothing to fear
I know you feel a connection
I know there is a spark when we touch
There is no objection
I crave you so much
Waiting for you to make the first move
Time stands still when you walk in the room
There is nothing you can improve
Freed my heart from its tomb
Kissing you slowly
Tangled up in sheets
Doing the unholy
Embedded in my dreams

You're like a cigarette
One hit and I’m addicted
Around you, I start losing my etiquettes
My feelings are conflicted
I try not to fall
But I am slowly
You make me feel I am an angel
Without you, I turn lonely
No matter how many people are around me
I always crave your presence
Without you, I am nobody
Being near you is a blessing
I have to stay far
Or you will break my heart

I fall to my knees
You pick me up
Making it easier to breathe
But if I fall down, you are going down with me

I am a heartbreaker
I warned you to run away
To say your graces
But you stayed
Whose fault was that
Allowed me to walk all over you like a doormat
Pound your head in with a baseball bat
Making you unlucky like a black cat
I am sorry
I ended the party
Made your life blurry
Tossed you into the barbie
Took away all of your glory
But you were the one who stayed

Somebody, please send me a message
Listen to my cries of help
I need someone now
Standing aside from the crowd
Entirely alone
Stripped from my throne
Flying aimlessly like a drone
I can not do this anymore

I'm tired of these lies
The fact I can't open up I demise
No matter how much I try
I stay closed inside

People always say there is something wrong in my head
I just lay awake wondering in my bed
If they are right or wrong
I guess I might never know
But I will keep on singing my song
Sitting by the fireplace and drinking my Bordeaux

I imagined you in my head,
Lying beside me in my bed,
I will never leave your side,
Not until the day I die.
You must think I am obsessed
But your love has me possessed
The way you look at me
Smile lingering on your lips
Softly giving me a kiss
Promise me you will never leave.
Putting your hands on my hips
Dancing slowly in the moonlight.
Never needing to fight
The moon shines so bright
A blessing in disguise
I open my eyes,
You fade away
Into the morning sky
Disappearing from my head.
No longer lying next to me in my bed

Looking into the night
Waiting for something mystical to occur
Found myself holding my breath
I spin around in a spur
My eyes go all blear
I can not see the truth
What life holds for me
Will I ever be able to

Your messing with my head
Your messing with my heart
Your messing with everything I got
Wish I can turn back time
To where everything feels alright

My heart stops beating
Words can't escape my mouth
I stop dreaming and reminiscing
Feeling myself drown
Noises getting too loud
I look down under me into the deep sea
Waiting for somebody to notice my plea

I call you, don't answer your phone
When I knock on your door
You never seem to be home
In need of some money
You are suddenly poor
Calling me honey
Do not call me that
Then walk all over me as if I am a doormat
You use me
Abuse me
Guess what
Now you lose me
Finally ran out of luck
I was too good for you
I must confess
You could never pull through
You were a mess
More than I was
I was blinded by lust

We're flying
Your lying
I can't take it anymore
You call me a *****
I stare at you in disbelief
Moods turn to grief
We reach the ground
You turn around
Follow me with your head down
I try to leave you behind
You beg me to forgive you of your crimes
I shake my head
Your heart turns to lead
I try not to cry
You look at me dead in the eyes
"Your dead to me" you yell
I slowly fall down in a deep dark well

I'm hiding behind a screen
Trying to breathe
All the air gets knocked out of me
I am waiting for a single soul
I cry out for help
No one comes by my side
I am more alone than I ever felt

Life is game
To win you must know how to play
Breaking the rules is a recurring occurrence
It is the only way to gain your insurance
Those who play fair
Try to give you their assurance
But will be trapped forever in utter despair
You can never win the game
Without a sense of shame
Without sharing the blame
Without an indirect aim
Cheating or not
The outcome will always be the same

Picking up that part of me
Fixing it where its supposed to be
Keep on going with my life
Hiding my lies
Acting as if I am a saint
Anytime I will break
Pretending I don't feel faint
I do no sins
Oh look I lied again
There goes truth-telling down the drain
Pulling at all the strings
Spreading my wings
Not white
Darker than night
Like my mind
Here to corrupt mankind
I am a nightmare
Dressed as a daydream
Shall leave no one spared
Go run and scream
No matter how much you try
You can never escape my schemes
Sound the battle cry
Now you have my evil eye
Start saying your goodbyes

Cross my heart
Hope to die
Soul's tearing apart
People telling me I am the bad guy
Pretending I am strong
Acting as if I have no fears
They all knew I was wrong
They are lurking near
Gripping me by the hair
Pulling me under
Come with us, they dare
Doing their best to make me suffer
I try to scream for help
They silence me till death
Not allowing me to even yelp
I can feel their breath on my neck
Their hands trailing down my body
Picking apart my judgment
Making me into their zombie
Throwing me into their mental dungeon

Putting a smile on my face
Thought I would get far
Didn't know pretense was phase
I was the complete and utter disgrace
I faked it until I couldn't anymore
I ran and slipped on the floor
Saw all the gore
Sun darkened leaving me blind
Abandoned me
Unlike all my crimes
Voices in my head said I couldn't get away
They were right
Everything in black and grey

He's hurting
He pushed me away
I'm not sure what to say
The fact that I cared
Made him scared
He won't even try
All he said was goodbye
I want to be there
Run fingers through his hair
I'm trying to let him go
My heart says no
The longer I stay
The harder it is to walk away