.softly speaking won't cut it luv...

lucky me,
for endearing myself some
comforting feelings
from a tragedy...

   but... but at least he left
a manifesto,
when was the last time
you heard,
of a jihadi leaving a manifesto?
the ****** hasn't
even dried,
   and 'ere we have Utrecht...

   now i'm expecting
a ******* giraffe in
zebra stripes...
   cuz... well...
because i just feel like it...
a window of missed
"opportunity"...
dead within a span of 2 / 3 days...
for a moment,
a period of relief,
and then: back to the usual
*******...
  oh i'll still go and see
my turkish barber...
   it will continue to be thrilling...
closing my eyes,
and relaxing,
while he does his work
with a straight-razor at the neck,
scissors on the head,
and what else?

   i'm tuning in,
l.s.d. ingestion would be a bad
move at this point...
glued-zombie-to-the-t.v.-screen,
that's me...
       sure as ****,
whatever was supposed to last,
didn't last,

       i thought: somehow we would
relieve ourselves in a period,
worth the breather...
  but no, no no no...
so... where is my sympathy supposed
to come from?
there's sympathy involved?
**** me...
             i thought that was just
a circus act...
    
        but it felt "great",
in that, i forgot to worry about
an aspect of life
that deserved no clarification,
or answer...
and then: the usual happened...
so...
back into the usual state
of affairs...
                
    **** me,
at least he wrote something,
worth the courtroom's
fiddling with evidence...
at least there is some sort
of invitation into the mind,
it's hard...
   when all the jihadis leave
is a manifesto...
   the quran... that's circa,
1400 years old...

i sometime, truly wish,
i could fathom the over-salted
herring
   of being disaffected with
life, bitter, cold...
   point being: i will only
ever succumb to telling a bad
"joke"...
              
   but i've never heard
a jihadi be called losers,
    or... inbreds...
by the masochistic white commentary
agora...
     evidently...
what he did...
would probably take
about 4 jihadis...
given the current Utrecht
incident...

    oh, really? really?!
only 3 and half a dozen injured?
retards *** toys'r'us,
n'est ce-pas
                  
    welcome, welcome
to the collateral canvas of events...
i'm drinking,
someone is seriously sober...
sacred cows still on parade...
ninja niqab: ha y'ah!
chopping McCurious...

about the years from 1998 -
through to 2007...
and then...
        cul de sac...
                how almost organic
the symbiosis became
that i associated to
my psychotic decline,
and what the world could allow
to offer...

                  grandiosity, sure,
egocentrism, double sure...
but then the paranoia:
the coincidental realism
of the parallel synonymity...
of staged events...
      
can i leave myself free to succumb
to some other event?
   from what the mainstream
discloses...
   jihad: to reclaim the lands
formerly occupied by muslims...
last time i head...
     the netherlands
were never occupied by
muslims...
      this is counter the concept
of jihad...
   even when playing
total war: medieval...
   you only get to simulate
jihad...
         as a defensive war...
to reclaim lands formerly owned...

this is jihad mingling
with the crescent-raids...
(crusades)...
                         this is no more
a holy war as an unholy war...
jihad implied:
                   reconquista...
once upon a time...
    
      if we're all going to be playing
*****,
       no agreed terms...
no predicates...
no pillars...
                   well...
    what sort of jihad
is, a jihad...
     when the jihad is non-reactionary?
these examples
of jihadis are as jihadi as
i'm Mickey Mouse...
and i have no knowledge
of                        Saladin...

        there is no jihad
concerning lands that you previously
didn't occupy...
i'm pretty sure that's how
jihad works...
   jihad is not a war riddled
with tactics of expansion,
rather, a war persuaded
to conserve the prior to
expansion...

         maybe that's why i find
the media abuse the term
so frequently...
   this is not jihad...
these are crescent-raids...
sure... if the original expansion
of the caliphate
included places like sweden,
or the netherlands...
               but it didn't...

these attacks have as much
to do with the concept
of jihad,
            as the crusades
against the baltic peoples:
doesn't.

you almost rally against
Muslims playing by their own rules,
but then...
Muslims are not playing
by their own rules...
   this is not jihad...
      come to think of it,
the modern Muslims...
are as bad as the medieval crusaders...

i should "know"...
   the Polacks had to struggle
with the Teutonic order for...
a very long time...

    it's not a holy war:
when the lands you're attacking,
are being attacked,
for reasons of reclaiming them...
that's what jihad implies:
reconquista...

   crescent-raid buggers...
look in the mirror:
   you're just as bad as the rest
of them...
    notably: the 4th crusade?
with the Venetians?
only made it as far as
Istambul...

   you grovel in filth,
and, just because you don't
eat pork, you expect
to be called, anything more than
pigs?
           wait... wait...
how could i even fathom
and begin, insulting pigs?
well: i was given the just answer.

...and that i own a bed.., but rather sleep on the floor... make-up an Ibiza from a Beirut... i rather **** the fathoming of a fizzle... to somehow compensate the tirade... this most unwelcome clue and loss... this gravity toward a... copper skin... and spit of biting totoises toying: limbo years... leftover... come... cushioning brief: fudge-packaged "thought"... this limbo-slant... as somewhat crude work-around... kiev a... "scheme"...

vielen dank zu gott! many thanks to god!

my greatest fear is that of homelessness...
who's to fear... to fear and "what"?

to be at home is some synoynmous
with something:
beside a being: and a home!

loitering in the quasi lane...
i'm about to travel across
europe with three rotten
teeth and i'm to suspect:
myself toying with some
variation of journalism...

       i see no end to the cold,
or war... the warm or
the shrapnel excavation
project...
when communism
was beast established
among the slavs
as your: yours one and truly...
antagonistic
warsaw pact whistling
and lobotomy...

even if i were the evil genius
of descartes...
i wouldn't be so...
fine detailed: ****...
      so... pristine... so...
otherwise... lobotomy blues...

exactly! what's scary is not
the laws being implemented...
but how... easily they are...
talk about climbing a tree...
talk about learning to ride
a bike... achieving a pass
with a bruised knee...

              a scrap: heaping...
lost teeth and... what of the jihad...
for the lost fraction of the ummah...
what of the jihad...
expected... in the chinese...

where is the ummah to be
summed to salvage...
and save the...
frolic over...
              the detail... in hair...
when hair is being shipped
away to "elsewhere"...
for ****-holes awaiting...
xinjiang... hair from...
would be... hibernating bear farts...

the jihad! the jihad!
i'm guessing the arab elites
are in on the "gimmick" with
the choke ***** men...
because... jihad only behaves
like a jihad on former
cursader territory...
south of france...
herr tao is somehow immune...

calls for being debility funny...
calls for...
bonfires of the turban of the sikhs...
orientating...
the house of gondor with
the house of rohan...

                 we'z needz 'air!
atypical confused jihadi saladin would-be...
we must all thank...
vielen dank zu gott!
                   but i still wait...
for the jihad to save the... project islam inc.
of the ummah...

sloth-riddles of the islamic project...
clearly they want to stamp on
the face of a man beaten down by...
a non-resurrected christianity...
too scared to face off with...
chinese atheism...

      *****-soldiers... where the ummah
where the... oh... wait...
the bangladeshi being paid
in "reperations" having
a chance to relieve themselves
with a game of cricket...
i'd sooner send... the locust
to abu dhabi than allow a foot
of mine to set...
on a worse idea beside the already
ailing reality of venice...

once upon a time...
was the fortune of settling on the basin
of the river...
all that oil must have shot those
arabs to the head...
the egyptians started screaming
at the camel-jockeys:
you never listened to the sand-*******...
did you?

all that black gold in one's pocket...
all that... yacht ambition...
all that and that...
all that frivolity... prized pride of
the... ahem... "ummah"...
looks like the chinese muslims are
forever and the will of the dubai classics...
fern fusions readied for...
the wigs!

       ****** readied they are...
some mongols would dear strap a horse
to their grave than excavate a hair plough
from...
eh... slaving prior to genocide...
it's like... they are... "allies"...
               it's a genocide mingling
with a joke... of slavery...
but the slaves did work that...
oh no... the germans didn't trust...
the hebrews with anything...
they performed genocide like a "failure"...
or rather a joke...
  
ask the serbs...
ask someone in rwanda...
you never perform a genocide...
by way of... imitating slavery...
by... stalling... by making people perform
menial tasks...
hello horror...
hello the sleeping ummah of islam...
to outright **** a people...
you wouldn't want them...
being teased...
a god teasing and his precursor for
having a 2000 year old wait
to establish: re- ishrael...

         the outliers of rome...
alaos pagan... converted to
the judeo-greco project of: three rotten teeth...

"toxic masculinity"... problem?
not enough of it is going around...
enough for it to be shared...
likewise...
my retreating toward...
japanese insinuation ****...
gravure idols...
   hell... absolute "toxic femininity"...
porcelain white girls...
all... lemon *******... peanuts dead...
while their... glob-trotting...
glutton sized up 66s...
   have forgotten the concept of:
insinuation ****...
foreplay...
all readied for...
extract ******* woman...
****... bred for... **** like a piston...
****** readied...
   blah "blah"...

       it doesn't translate... plain jane...
the sort of toxic you seek...
in man... revels in a deity lady madonna...
i **** myself over all second come...
blessings! blessings they calls them...
yeah... the best dates i've ever had...
concerning the "middle path"
of buddha is bound to the clarity
of a transation in a brothel...

so much for a justified jihad in xinjiang
to... save the people of the ummah...
pseudo malcom X consricpt... 0...
negation... not going to happen...
    japanese porcelein ****...
but they'll wait for the hyprocrisy...
they'll come for the arabs first...
when they finally engineer a man...
that will be better than all
the supposed doping advances of western man
allowed...
  
i'm starting to like *******
from the perspective of a japanese hard-on...
insinuation...
    i'm less the ****** and i'm more...
about to sniff a stinking dog's bowl
of processed meat of a ****'s oyster behalf...
i like that...
less *****... more hard-on...
     n'ah... i never did buy into the whole:
sorry loser ******* in amsterdam
cinema sessions...
    i liked... the tease of a tier...
more imaginative... more human...
than... a tease of a harem via a niqab...

so... no jihad come xinjiang?
should we suppose the mongols also invested
in a conversion and it wasn't the grand
imitation buddha kahn?
the wrath subsided: god was proven...
time for meditation...
    what's a jihad...
when you could entertain...
the... tsunami of the horde of...
the fall of angels.... fully-workable replica
metaphor...
what's the ****-poor islam "spread"
by comparison?
                
no real ummah then...
   unless...
that's diesel of a lamborghini burning
rubber on a tarmac in knightsbirdge
for a faking 'ard on...
    
  two days from now...
i'll be passing through germany...
        i'll be retiring 2 weeks to that land
of paradoxes that's my land of birth...
the aristocratic democracy brothel
of crown and... *******...
foreign hands foreign lands...
all the ready to retreat into their habsburg cul de sacs
of prior to: asserted powers...

no... there's just that...
"we" forgot a healthy ground for
doubt... the plethora of emotion...
the rollercoaster of it...
there's just now... the yoyo-denial cringe
lobotomy...
the best best cringe...
slav soviet communist...
Teddy! Teddy! sell 'em spleen
and iron grips!
no good Warsaw Tadeusz!
Beijin new bwest fwend!

            t-eee-sted...
                  new zealand: tee-st...
not station: tested... but...
t-eee-sted **** the rats and retards...
the philonthropes...
because...
   the noise made by bwah bwah...
  the misathrope...
it's like an accent from...
that last best reserved concept
of growing figs... otherwise a...
goof-ball and course for ralph...

now for the self-congratulatory letter
of championing the dodo project:
well thank **** for not solving this brain-drain
spaghetti puzzle and not exactly buying into
the d.n.a. project ugly pass...
with all that..... bewildering...
"consciousness" debate...
michael myers' "consciousness" debate...
one... 'em... those sudoku nuggets
of... "sober"?!

best resolved...
i drink alcohol to keep calm...
after i forgot to... take my ****** pills...
my... i came late to the party...
21 was illegal to smoke marijuana...
amitriptyline... 25mg...
how many times do i think
about a slaughterhouse?
i think of all the boys with:
chemical soup for brains aged
16 and under...
i was lucky...
they only got to me aged 21...
i was still allowed to retain
a labyrinth of wording(s) to shelter my anger with...
surprise? what surprise?

toxic masculinity = not enough james bonds
running amok for...
oh... weight... *****-whipping...
there's all that... i forgot what...
period drama this was all about...

drink drink drink...
i'll sooner kick my liver dead than...
allow society to sober my half-wit frankenstein
brain of theirs...
    i'll die with:
i don't scare myself with drowning...
i don't scare myself with falling...
flat into a pancake...
i shouldn't be afraid of homelessness...
but i am because...
this avenue of the freely available stars...
and those... made rebel...
that will answer to me...

                  the butterfly... waiting...
for the most pristine... prized... first...
insecurity of... h'america about to be exported...
and it's a... oh my! a zephyr...
tornado... one of those: flush 'em...
when you 'ave 'em...
sort of... scenarios...

hegel: improtune... the will of the thinking man...
thought is a butterfly...
it's hardly... a well-knitted-marx-beard-and-sweater
of consolidations...
  
honest to the god i don't believe in...
i'd shadow **** that crucifix if it
had a japanese gravure model hanging on it...
******* as insinuation...
they did catch me...
libido pressed...
aged 21...
they would have got to me aged 16 and prior...
with ****** and former brain:
the chemical soup...

          i want to smash **** up... then i remind
myself: wait... and giggle...
   the extract... mikhail popkov...
                 albert fish... fan boy for every:
groupie of history...
            is that... like... a somewhat missing:
oops?
        CHRISTINE CHUBBUCK...
               INCEL...
       wouldn't it be... just.. oh so strange...
to... drag a man into a prison cell...
and shoot them... obviously retaining leaving
them there to rot...
   andrei chikatilo...
                              the urban myth of cockroaches
being subjected to the guillotine...

sure... whizz vite boyz aged...
napoleon dynamite... jeffrey dahmer...
      16 is the right time to call brainz...
chem. soup...
bubbly...
me comez 21... me's perfecto...
   me no cain signature idiot primo...
                 i like me horror story...
i get to play the... plot line of
the anaesthetic...
                      
who is to be surprised by: who's who...
of anyone's who of...
the currency of... this... surf...
lost... a "somehow"...
a "somewhat"...
oh... this is... for... today?
                                this has to be...
the advent of the pontius pilate metaphor...
no... not me...
dies ist alles sie:
   scheiße!     es ist mich?
              verwesendtrauben....

kommen, sehen... der welt...
                           verstopfungselbst.