"yeah i had a good break...was smashed the whole week...apparently i ****** on some dude's xbox"
"yeah mine does that too. they were ******* so hard the bed was squeaking"
"*** there she is! the one with the ears....hah check the sneakers! who the **** does she think she is"
"i'm glad my hair doesn't look like that"
"i think i was *****"
"did you get it in, man? hahahhh"
"it's cuz his **** is smaller than his brain"
"got a D...i'mma go shoot myself. i ******* hate this lady"
"hah! I like HER skirt. notttt! what the ****, she looks like a hippo"
"yeah we're kind of a thing now. he texts me like, 24/7...my parents were so ****** over break"
"oh my god i have this test in an hour...i was way too ****** last night to study"
"wow i didn't get **** on my midterms, hello mcdonald's"
"*******"
"hey *****, you're lookin' ******"
"check my ***. good? good."
"yeaaahhh man! we make this punch...it's crazy. half a solo cup and you're gonneeee. tuesday, man. be there or be a little **** for the rest of your life, hahahhahh"
"duude we were dropping ecstasy like crazy! everything looked like pink marshmallow fluff...some poor ******* jumped off the garage roof, thought he could fly or some ****...you want some? i can get you some, bro. no prob."
"i couldn't even sleep last night, my roommate was banging her boyfriend and the moaning was sicking me out"
"yeah bathsalts are some ****...my cousin tried to rip out his kid's eyeball one time...it was ******* hilarious"
"did you get in her pants?"
"homerun?"
"i was so drunk man, i don't remember anythingggg hahahhhh"
"honey...i was drunk. i don't even remember sleeping with her, you can't blame me"
"i was drunk...surprise buttsex!!"
"dude she had her hands in my pants for half of the class"
"can you believe she posted that? i mean come on"
"yeah! then write ***** on it!"
"hahah i wrote this note on her door with my number...saying that i was a lesbian and thought she was hot....then the ******* ****** called me and me and my roommates basically pranked **** out of her for like, two hours"
"dad, i know. i get it. yeah. yeah. ALRIGHT! i just need a couple hundred. i'll pay you back. it's just to help me get by. yeah, this one professor wants me to do some extra reading. i need it for a book..."
"yeah he likes you! he texted me! text him back. COME ON! i'm telling you...you're gonna end up 22 and STILL not have boyfriend. just do it already...jess!"
"yeah we didn't even have enough gas to get here. had to borrow money from my dad...ohmygodd...this app won't load..."
"it wasn't ****...it was more like...******* a dead fish...hahahhh!!!"


"i'm gonna fail"
"don't worry about it, it's the professor's fault. she's a ******."