April 27th.
You forgot me.
In days.
You forgot everything about us.
You forgot I existed.
You forgot my touch and my scent and you probably threw everything in your closet away that was mine.
Is that her spot now?
Maybe her bobby pins won't fall out at your house because she knows how to fix her hair better.
Maybe she will put her perfume on before she comes in so you don't have to pick it up when she leaves it on your dresser.
Maybe she will buy you something way cooler from the beach when she goes.
But the point is - you forgot me.
After promising me for months that you wouldn't.
And I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How would any normal person feel?
Worthless. Nothing. Alone.
Not good enough.
And why can't you understand that?
Why can't you see what you've done to me?
Why doesn't it strike you as terrible.
Yes, you broke my heart and it happens all the time but you promised me. You told me forever and made me believe it.
You left me like you said you wouldn't.
And for her.
The one girl I've ever been insecure about.
The one girl you promised you had nothing with nor would ever have anything with.
And she's better than me.
You told me that.
She's different, right?
And she's not anything you can put a list or criteria on, but I was, right? I'm not like her and that's why you couldn't be with me.
So she's better than me.
And you don't know how much that kills me.
Not that it's her.
But that it's anybody.
Why is it that no matter where I look, no one is better than you, but she, or anybody, was so easily better than me.
Why.
Where did I ***** up.
I took you back after you ******* up and I fought so much to keep you and to make you look at me as permanent for once because that's all I could look at you as.
How could you do that to me.
How could you leave me like you said you wouldn't.
Do you understand how terrified I am?
I'm so terrified that in a year, I won't be over you.
I won't be able to move on.
I'm terrified.
Horrified.
I can't stay like this.
You don't understand what you've done to me and you never will because you don't care about me and you never will again.
I don't know how.
I know I'm not amazing but Jesus.
You can't just forget someone that was your world for months, i don't care how talented you are at forgetting.