He said, he said, he said
That I was beautiful.
But that smile was on his face,
So I don't know.

There were two coins laying on the counter this morning.
I took one.
I don't remember,
But I think it was heads.

I have always believed that there was something to it.
That is, gambling:
The way a die falls, tumbles uncontrollably,
Pretending we know how to win.

We had time, I had thought.
But looking at my coin, I saw my faux pas.
Sometimes are lives are left up to fate,
So he said, he said, he said.

Lately, they fail me
Everything is tending to
The words

I am lost
Fighting through a shadow
Reaching for the stars
But settling for the wet grass
Lying among the strands
Broken
Like I feel

I let you reach into my soul
Pull and tug me along
Let myself long to please you

I let the world take my hands
Tied together and to everything else
Drag me along
I will follow

Shouldn't I learn how to be
A scale
To measure worth
To balance this?

Shouldn't I be calm in crises?
Instead of the hurricane itself?
But the tears won't stop
I've tried dikes
But still the waves come

I beg you
Take it from me
Your words scratch and burn
Lacerating my soul
Teaching me to hide
But the shadows
My friends
Have gone

I have tried to be a veteran
Undertook the enemies
To see you smile
Why?
Tell me
Why am I like this?
Why does this mismatching, shattered soul
Rely on darkness to keep calm?
The darkness that rips itself away from me
Keeping its distance

Show me the sadness
I welcome it
Anything but this weight on my heart
I don't know how to put it to words anymore
I can't get rid of it
I don't comprehend myself

I'm drowning

I am
trying

help me

I have undertaken too much