With a moment of silence we stand there, face to face. Our eyes wonder for our thoughts. As you look around, trying to avoid my eyes, I look past you, I realize that what's infront of me is suddenly my whole entire world. With this undescribable discovery I quickly look back to you, when I do, you've already been starring for seconds upon seconds, deep inside of me. As our eyes lock, our bodies do as well and then, in a sudden motion I have you there, in my arms. As you feel my arms around you, the feeling that had just hit me, goes from me to you and in that second, that second of your first time ever feeling, you realize how hard it's going to be to let this go, let me go. With this hitting you all at once, you want to feel more of it, for this feeling was something that could and would only occur between you and I. You hold me tighter cause you know the end is coming to a closing. You dont want this to let it pass you by. So you lock it in, you lock it in with all your might and for what seemed to be a life time I felt comfortable, I felt like I was home. Cause I was. You pull away to see just how far away you can get before you break through the ice and never come back, but you slightly slip and hold on as tight as you possibly can to me. When I hold you this time, you feel security, feel life as we never knew it. You felt at home.You were home. I wouldn't of changed a thing about it.

When there is no hope! When all contact with you has been lost! And when i feel directionless! I turn To Mr.Writer and Publishman! hoping that maybe, just maybe when youre done reading this, you will call! So far, there has been absolutly no sound nor vibration from my phone! Look's like i got the"try again next time" piece of the tim horton's coffee cup! And what a ******* it is!

I had no idea how it felt to be utterly loved. I had no idea how it felt to utterly love. But then you came. You slowly opened the door to this abandoned house and let yourself in. You saw the broken windows, heard the floor boards creek from under your every step, smelt the stale air within every air particle, but you didnt run. You stayed. I dont know why you did to this day, but you did. you took this abandonment and made it a home. A home where you and I could live forever. A home where we did live forever. I have an idea how it feels to be utterly loved. I have an idea how to utterly love.

Face to face, we sit here, knowing full well what the future holds for us. We sit here, with both our minds racing, finding it hard to catch thoughts to place on our tounges and roll out as if this is easy. This is the hardest thing ive ever done. With sorrow drowning our eyes and thoughts projecting through mine, I know where we'll end up. I know that no matter what I say or do, I cant fix anything and that leaves me broken down, waving the white flag in defeat as the rain starts pooring down my face. Youre here infront of me, but youre gone. We take eachother into one anothers arms for one last time, detangling our hearts string from string. My arms are empty again. I look down at them, just to make sure my eyes arent deceiving me. But its the truth, youre gone and im see-through. These earthquakes turn to sunamis and these plains crash until the very last one has bursted into flames, causing nothing but a disaster inside of me. You've left your mark on not only my heart, but my skin as well and once these marks are gone, im left with nothing but these memories and an abandoned house for a heart.


(c)SeanaseaWallen 2010

Waking up is the hardest part.

Opening my eyes, only to realize that you're not here.
To realize you probably wont be again.

Knowing as I open my eyes, you're opening yours, looking over to your signifigant other.

I lay here, praying that maybe, you just might be here again.

But what is the use of praying to something I dont even know exsists? I lay here, knowing that at some point, I have to get up.
For what?

I have no reasoning anymore.
Infact, I have no reasoning for anything anymore.
I find it quite useless to even breathe.

I dont know what im doing.

Sometimes, I forget to let go.
I forget that im alive.
I forget that breathing is important.
I forget everything.

But most importantly, i forget to let go.

Tangling itself like grapevines at the bind of these two hearts brings me home, wrapping along the brick. Overwhelming comfort creeps through the air vents and im there. Im home.

She stood there, across from me. Unable to look into my eyes, she stood there. With her hands in the pockets of her jeans, her shoulder and head leaning against the wall, and gravity trying to **** the tears she was trying to hold back, her head was down but up enough for me to see what was going through her mind. She stood there and she was beautiful. Her face was full of worry, confusion, anger and she was upset. Her hands were in her pockets because she was shaking, she was nervous. My words were realization, the kind that screams at you. She stood there and i stood across from her, looking at her, unable to take my eyes off of her. While i was full of regret, she was lost in her own train of thought. Someone had to make her think though. Silence filled the air for longer then i realized at the time. She looked up but quickly away, avoiding my eyes that were visibly begging for hers, and in that instant her tears played tag along her cheeks, dripping aimlessly down to the floor, giving into gravity. But she was beautiful. Biting her lip out of shame for crying, she looked back down and in that instant, defeat took over her every inch. I stood there, my eyes still begging for hers, and I couldnt move. She was beautiful and I was numb. To check if I was alive, i took a step towards her, being drawn in by her beauty, then i took a few more, until i found myself quickly wrap my arms around her. She went to turn away cause she didnt find herself deserving of this, but i held her, deserving or not. I held her because i wasnt going anywhere, anytime soon and i didnt want to let her slip away from me like i did the rest, because She wasnt the rest, she was her and she was absolutley beautiful where she stood. I didn let her go because, I couldnt, i wouldnt let myself. Her being there, within my arms, was my realization, the kind thats just a whisper in your ear. I pulled away and whiped away her tears. Finally, her eyes met mine. It was then that we both knew. I wasnt going anywhere and she was coming no where with me. She was everything. She was my beautiful girl and she is beautiful where she stands.