I cant help but hide that feeling,
My soul and life you're stealing.
Build me up or break me down,
You think I am just your clown.
Do your worst, I do not care.
Your ******* is everywhere.
You mistake apathy for submission.
Your downfall is of your own volition.
I may die quietly and forgotten,
But your insides are forever rotten.
At least in my solitude Ill meet death with peace.
As for you, insanity and guilt will never cease.
Put me down, kick me out,
You think im bad and show no doubt.
Starve me, hit me, and yell to be sure.
Bury me in the ground, I will endure.
At the end of the day, you cannot **** me.
You cannot **** me, you cannot **** me, you cannot **** me.
Just remember, when you think iv met death,
I promise well both be there when you take your last breath

You expect me to be there for you as a close friend
You told me you loved this guy, and hoped he loved you too
But he did not, and your little heart was broken
you came to me, looking for consolation
As if I'm supposed to make you feel better
I can empathize with you for one reason
You broke my heart and didn't give a ****.
Now for you.... I'm supposed to give a ****?
Sorry but thats not how this works
You feel nothing making me feel horrible
Yet, I am supposed to feel something when you feel horrible
You act like I am a child that doesnt know anything
Yet you will never be loved,
because you are a child that doesnt know anything.

You are merely a cute ball of nimbus fluff cat.
I pick you up and you purr and chirp,
and even when I go to put you down
you go limp in my arms so I am stuck carrying you.
But in this happiness is something truly sad.
That despite being a human,
the one time I have ever felt loved and wanted
was by you, you cute ball of nimbus fluff.
Even if it was just because I was petting you.
Its still the only time I have ever felt
like I was actually wanted.

Sometimes things dont always work out in the end,
and sometimes you have to be alone for awhile to realize,
that in fact you didnt hate being around everyone at all.
Most people never truly appreciate what they have,
Not until everything is in pieces on the floor like shattered glass,
Do you wish they werent pieces at all.
You desperately fumble to clutch a shard in your arms,
to hold close to your heart, to remember what once was
only to cut yourself up and watch that crimson flow.
Better a mess on the floor than a mess in your arms.
Your brain spills your heart, and your heart spills your guts.
If you show love like that, pretty soon you'll have nothing left on the inside.
Next thing you know, you're just as broken and worthless as that fragile glass on the floor.
A fool once said "blood is thicker than water."
Blood may flow in our veins, but it doesn't keep us together.
Something so familiar can still be very foreign
yet something very foreign can seem all too familiar.

Interesting marks upon my arm
Nothing natural or sane about it
I feel my madness take over my charm
The veil of reality is now split
None to others, but to myself grievous harm
My brain sharp, like the knife which iv been slit
My brain and emotions are torn asunder
All I can do is lay down and wonder

What am I supposed to do
How shall I make it through
I clench my fist in rage
I look around and no one is there
A person to hold seems quite rare
The stars and planets act as a sage
I think too much, It drives me insane
Ill sit here alone and in the rain
I may be outside but still in a cage

Compose yourself oh little one
Expose your thoughts to the great beyond
Those who do not understand never will
Oppose normalcy and strengthen the bond

When you think you have been beat
Zen you must be, and keep your calm
Then once you take a deep breath
Again you have won and are indeed aplomb

Up

Look up

You missed it

Artwork up high

Do not ignore it

The glory of the sky

Way bigger than little you

A humbling experience

You are human but you are so small

If you think, it doesn’t matter at all

The stars look small but are bigger than me

The stars look small but are bigger than me

So bright in the night to illuminate the dark

So bright in the night to illuminate the dark

The stars in the night illuminate the dark

So bright but, are bigger than me

I think of the beginning and end

I think of the beginning and end

Our lives are but a story

Our lives are but a story

I think the beginning of a story

And our lives end

A grain of sand

A grain of sand

A drop of rain

A drop of rain

A drop of sand

A grain of rain

The stars are but a grain of sand

To illuminate the drop of me

Our lives begin and end

I think the stars at night are but a story

To brighten our dark stories

A drop of me, A grain of me, the bright and night are but a story

I wish that all could rise above

lets work together and change things

to only have that feeling of love

To strike down the mightiest of kings

A sword for one, but a pen for many

The sword is just to cut the strings

The world is not filled with plenty

A facade abundance, its not real

A minute in here feels like twenty

There is no way to strike a deal

The easy way out is no option

Otherwise things would be too ideal

Let us run as far as we can

Where we want to go is trying to get there

Ill do it forever, my whole life span

My destination, is not where

This is a journey I want to share

The moons shine, to the suns glare

The end is not what you think

I wish to run on through the brink

If only you knew

If only you knew

If only you knew why I feel so blue

I want to know

I want to know

I want to know where you want to go

I really want

I really want

I really want to lose the duant

Where to go

Where to go

Where to go? I dont know, so lets move slow

All I need

All I need

All I need is to succeed

I look above

I look above

I look above and miss my love

Act once, but think twice
you can take a chance, and roll the dice
Never wonder what never was
Don't hold back just because
Take a risk and go for what you want
Play it cool, and act nonchalant
But, this you must never forget
Remaining idle is your biggest threat
Go out upon the earth and live your life, please
Never ignore that passing breeze

I want to spring off into the night
Cause destruction and start the fight
I know right now I am no hero
But I swear now, I am no zero
I feel as though I was put in the wrong time
I feel so strange nothing to call mine
Everywhere else seems better than here
My life feels nothing but austere
I yearn to find a place on this earth
If that day comes I will feel true mirth
Some people who exist, make life worth it
Too bad those people are rare and whit
If that's how It will be, then I stay alone
I would rather that then life as a drone

One or two, or three, or four
You'll choose one number but still want more
Not content with whats on the plate
You are the ones I really hate
I don't understand why you want it all
Become complacent with you possessions and soon you will fall

Maybe one day I will go
and on that day it is what Ill know,
I look up to the sky and still feel so low,
I look at the earth and have nowhere to go

You abuse one, You abuse us all
The one strikes back, We stand tall
One gets knocked down, We break the fall
One yells for help, We answer the call
because it will always be, all for one and the one is all

The clock strikes three
and the people are happy,new life begins

The clock strikes six
The people get indifferent,and the government wins

The clock strikes nine
The people start to notice the government is obtuse

The clock strikes twelve
The people are outraged, all hell breaks loose

The clock strikes three
The people are happy, but they only think they are free..........

I am losing my mind, I slowly go insane.
I think to little, I think to big, but never enough.
I feel as if it is the source of my bane.
It is not known the way I act is a bluff

I am hiding how I feel, I don’t want others to think me enamored or even mad!
I imagine vivid colors and sounds, that makes the senses tingle!
Is it all real or am I suffering something like gad?
It is grand, as if my dreams and reality were to commingle!

How can it be that seeing these things is nuts?!
Is it possible that I am the normal one here!?
In space and beyond reality has my mind jut?!
I shall never act different! My mind will not clear!

I very much like my abstract thought
for society my mind will never be wrought

A door creaks open, light pours in
An ice cold breeze blast onto my skin
My foot steps out upon the land
I walk across ice, grass and sand
The sun has gone down
and the moon has risen
darkness all around
I am stuck in this prison
I close my eyes and the darkness recedes
I must venture forth and continue my deeds
A mountain so tall
and an ocean so vast
I shall not fall
My goal surpassed
I lay on the floor my chalice in sight
this is something that I must do right
I am ready and willing to fight
In the end I'll stand here a Knight

All that I love is never around
Just alive in thought, never found
Hoping and wanting might as well be the same
Is my life just a game?
No one to share these thoughts with
I feel as though love is a myth
Am I destined to forever be alone?
But of course I am always on my own

I want to end this pain
writhing and tormenting my heart
I however do not speak of love
I feel horrible, like a schizophrenic brain
I have so many problems, I know not where to start
I just want to fly away from it all like a peaceful dove

There is this feeling in my heart, This ****** feeling tearing me apart
from the inside out , a blow to the chest, a kind of clout leaving me stressed
My mind and heart filled with doubt, I want to snap, scream and shout
I waste my time being so nice, everything I do is a roll of the dice
The world feels so ****** up, Ill open my mouth and eat that death cup
Is it everyone else or is it just me? My brain feels like messy debris
I would think it wise to give it up now, there is only so much pain I can allow
My brain is scrambled and my heart split in half, I find it ever so hard just to laugh
I have had enough of you world! Into the fire you had me hurled
I sit here in pain my thoughts unfurled, my brain is a mess everything swirled
I find it hard to wake up everyday, all I do is fight to keep these feelings at bay
I want to help those in need, but crush those who mislead
It seems I am not wanted around here, of these feelings this is the most severe
I don't belong anywhere on earth, I know right now I have no worth
ever since my day of birth, I have not had the true feeling of mirth
I hate this all, I want it to end, Ill jump into a squall, and my heart you'll rend
I have so much anger I do not know what to do,and at the same time I feel so blue
My time on earth is through, why cant my life just start anew
No matter what I do or where I go, the world the wolf, and I the doe
But do not think I'll go down a loser, Ill see you in hell, you'll meet your accuser
I feel lost in life, no map as a guide, no one will know the day that Sean died
If I must Ill live on alone, until I turn to dust and bone
Everyone whines about menial stuff, life has been rough, considering its a bluff
I do not know what is left to do, maybe Ill see you later, until then adieu

I have dreamt of life and of death
Traversed the universe in one breath
I feel like a different kind of human being
I look at the world others don't know what I am seeing
I feel like the Canis Majoris star
I am truly massive, just not from afar

A weird feeling I cannot contain
Not happy but unusual, not sad but odd
A kind of peculiar pain
All hidden by my facade
Sometimes it hurts a great deal
Paralyzed by my own emotion
Only time can heal
My brains commotion

The snow falls, the leaves change
that is all that happens in my mind so strange
I swim forever underwater with no need for air
I fly in the darkness, wind cutting my face
I lay in the sand and at the sky I stare
Oh how I wish I could jut into space
My own turbulent sea
Always like an autumn eve
of this place I shall never leave

Things are looking up, but not for all
One mans triumph, another mans downfall
Impossible for everyone, to all feel great
Sheer probability that I really hate
Just remember, when you're not doing well
somebody else is suffering through hell

I saw you wandering at night
When you approached I thought we would fight
You put your hand on my shoulder and told me my name
Right at that moment, I thought it was some game
Told me more about "me" then I ever knew
My crush, what I do, some examples to name a few
Then you dropped a proverbial bomb
"Your writing will change the world"
With that statement I have no qualm
Now into the public I must be hurled
Now this is a difficult task
It would help to wear the anonymity mask
The world I wish to wake
I hope sir "michael" you are not a fake

The moon is full in the night sky
I want to go up there, I wish I could fly
The stars in the sky twinkle so bright
They could all be gone with the delay of their light
Once in awhile a shooting star blast's by
I cant help but look up and wonder why

It's the same sentence forward and back
but sense in what this statement lacks
A particular sentence, impossible to understand
Why else would I be sitting here with a pen in my hand
On the same level as lion oil
And not completely unlike a drowsy sword
My fun with these devices you shall not spoil
Confusing and fun like an invisible gourd

In this world most unkind
Justice is deaf, mute, and blind
The poor suffer and the rich thrive
Humanity is taking the final nose dive
The end of mankind's gluttonous ways
In the finale of life, the end of days
When the planet earth gets its last laugh
We all shall share one epitaph

A magnificent word, of incredulous size
Most cannot define it, reading with their own eyes
A synonym, for a beautiful face, A fancy term for good looks
If you didn't  know of the existence of of this word,
I suggest you go to the library and get some books
If someone said it to you, you should pick up your head at what you heard
Somebody likes you! All from a definition you just learned!

A zone like no other, Insanity rules this place
Time is at a stop, no hands on the clock face
suspended forever in an infinite pause
Always out of reach from death's mighty claws
Never before have I hearkened the silent
Peace and quiet, nobody violent
A shadow out of time, where the world is the mime

Sleep doesn't matter, I'll rest when I'm dead
All these ******* thoughts put pressure in my head
Sometimes I dream of going crazy
But all of those dreams at best are hazy
I am always stuck in thought
Something I have never fought
Oblivious to the world
My thoughts unfurled
Is this good or is this bad?
I would rather be dead, if all I wrote was mad

What stands upon a monumental gate
A sinister Baal, something filled with hate
It makes me wonder where I am
An overbearing presence, will slaughter me like a lamb
Something is coming, its invisible to me
To my surprise its not one, but three
The first thought spoke of my birth
how my story began on planet earth
from a tiny lad to a, cantankerous kid
I wasnt that bad, yet my whole life I hid.
always mad, I'm treated like captain Kidd
The second thought told me about my life right here
If I dont step it up Ill have no one to hold dear
taking some things austere
with others I crack a sneer
emotionally irrelevant, my thoughts unclear
The third thought told me of my future to come
the things he mentioned turned my body numb
And in a flash I was left in my room
Is my subconscious foretelling my doom?
I say "No Way!" then took a deep breath
As I close my eyes, I feel the icy hand of death

I really wonder where I fit
because right now I'm in some ****
I do not know where to go
but when I go I will know
I came into this life alone
Off of the plank I've been thrown
In the water, lost at sea
All the sharks eyes pointed at me
Easy prey helpless in the ocean
I cant help but hide that notion
I am here to be food for you
Towards my heart a dagger ran through
I realize my purpose in life
No it is not to find a wife
but instead to speak of all strife
To choose between a pen and a knife

Born into a planet that does not want me here
But here and now, let me make it clear
That one day I will give you something to fear
You doubt me, taunt me, and walk all over me
Ill haunt you forever, I will become your banshee
you think I am the bane of the earth
Ill have my day to show you what I'm worth
Ill have my chance to rise up above you
I shall run you through
You shall fall askew
And your power I will accrue
I have had enough
I am no longer a maniac distracted
Soon my revenge will be exacted
And as you look up at me from down low
From this earth you will be subtracted

I wish to see the land of the midnight sun
But in this place there is no one
I look to the distance as I start to run
My journey here has just begun
Love, Hate, Sadness and joy
Someday soon Ill be that lucky boy
and your presence I shall enjoy
But for now I must bide my time
I want to see you in my prime
I wish not to be the richest on earth
I am perfectly content with my fiscal dearth
I wish not to be the king of all
Ill keep walking forever, Ill never fall
solely because I am in your thrall
Some might call me a fool
but those ones are cruel
they're missing out on a beautiful feeling
all my wounds have started healing
even if I never ever get to see you
my feelings for you will always be true

I want to jump off the earth and into space
As vast visions of knowledge graze my face
Laplace's demon I wish to be
But that hypothetical is not me
To witness planets and stars humans never see
Floating in space will set me free
Milky Way, Andromeda, perhaps a Magellanic cloud
Vega, Rigel, and Altair are my shroud
Antares and Arcturus burning up high
Adara and Bellatrix in my night sky
Life like Eridanus, the end is Achernar
So beautiful up close, and from afar
Horologium watching my every move
To Hydrus and Leo, my courage I must prove
Sun Ra taught me that "Space Is The Place"
When I journey forth, Ill shall adventure with grace

I yearn to wander the planet a vagabond
To acquire knowledge that takes me above and beyond
Purposeless wandering is what some see
In my mind and heart I know that is not me
You should not judge me because I roam
I find peace in calling no place home
Some say itinerant, others say transient
It is your one track thinking that I lament
I only wish to see all sights
Something to think about on those lonely nights
Experience all culture, and learn savoir-faire
Gain more knowledge, of which you may share
Ill wander  Gaia until my feet bleed
Earth my bed, stars my blanket, that is all I really need