somewhere, i heard that there's two days in your life
where you don't get to live twenty four hours, but isn't
that a little biased? what about the days where i had to
remind myself that you weren't coming back? because
i had recited a poem during grief and loss poetry, and
it was more loss of self and grief of self. maybe my body
is still connected to this earth, but my soul is dead. my
muse, or my idea of one, turned to ashes. every picture
of her was still life art, of things living, but that picture
of us is still dead even to this day. and on that note, i hope
you're happy now, you miserable *******.

- kra

the stars were flickering, the moon was dimming out,
the sky was falling, and the earth was trembling at the
pulpit of your existence. but it was just me and me alone
feeling the earth collapse under the hypertension and the
world spun on an axis, excluding me from it's original axis
and i wonder if i gave you the rings so the earth can spin
on your schedule. regardless, i want it back. i want back
the reigns so this off course journey can finally settle into
its regular habits. if i have to live under a god complex
in order to verify that nobody will come close to breaking
my spine the way you did, then so be it. i will forge a
dystopian mark on myself and completely obliterate
any memory of you from that dystopia. when the time
comes, when i put my hands down and yours goes up
in surrender, you will realize how human i am in the
way i stretched myself out so much just to be your
optimal choice. i will sit back down on my virtual
throne, mend the craters in my chest, and leave you
without your gas tank floating through space. i am
not yours to control, to play with my puppeteer strings,
to have me bottlenecked with these desperate pleas. i
am a different person now, please understand this.

- kra

the title best friends probably
doesn't mean anything
to you. - kra

when i think of you, i think of the saw movies
and how someone had to die to save another
person's life. i guess i was the martyr and you
were the last remaining survivor, miraculously
unharmed. i wonder if you ever thought about
being a martyr, but from the looks of it, i'm sure
you were more than happy with throwing me into
the line of fire than helping me escape this place.

- kra

i used to associate screwdrivers with the tools
my father regularly brought with him on his belt
to work, and now that i have tasted a screwdriver
and the aftertaste of you lingers after every huge
swallow, i want to drink until inch by every inch
of my body can feel something remotely far from
where you are. i want to associate screwdrivers
with tools, as a woman, i may use maybe once
or twice, but never as a drink. i really hope i get
drunk today because i'm not seeing my muse.
ever again. the tectonic plates underneath my feet
have shifted and i'm not able to stand on my own
anymore. how i only wish i could say that i'm
suffering and being miserable all for you.

- kra

i cannot be defined by words, but by my actions,
by the way i have two signs of destruction, the
act of self-destruction or by shutting down on
myself. in hopes of keeping these spontaneous
combustions less erratic and vehement, lately,
i've been donating my skin, replacing it with
metal. maybe becoming a cyborg, makes me
a different person, but it just makes me feel
like a doomsday clock. my blood has been
replaced with gun powder, my skin coated
into titanium pallets, my words creates the
ignition, set to go off. i've become an active
volcano that hasn't made any progress in
being active, and as much as i yearn to
explode to you with these thoughts inside
my head trickling in my thoughts like gasoline,
my words become the lit cigarette to start a
fire, my memory has fallen in love with the
idea of you and the fact you could destroy
my world just by ignoring me. but you don't.
your heart stays active while mine is on standby.

- kra