Screaming Wallflower

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

she apologized with lilies and manufactured notes because her emotions were otherwise engaged
loved the taste of the stamps from letters never sent
made cars swerve to avoid her picking invisible flowers in the street
touched your soft cheek leaving tattoos of her favourite words
she left the candle burning when she left the house because she didn't want the ghosts to be cold
she knitted raincoats of lace and wore shoes of tulips
hosted masquerade ***** by herself,
for the sake of hiding from herself for a while

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

She

the type of girl who died in a car crash
because she never outgrew going out of her way to go through puddles
the girl who'd always heard she was pretty when she was angry
so she stayed enraged all the time
(there is enough to be angry about)
the girl who always walked like her feet were on fire and she is walking on a tightrope
she saw people she instinctively loved and crossed the street to deliver a compliment

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

Had to End

The gunmen trudged up the dusty path
And saw a terrible black sparrow
bewitching a girl
She was crazy, flapping around
animals will drive people nuts if I let them
He had to end the small creature's life
He took aim
and fired
girl and sparrow fell to the ground

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

Too beautiful

hurry, little birdy! you have to fly away from here*
the girl urgently whispered to the sparrow
but she was too beautiful and the sparrow wanted only her company
the girl cried and urged it to flee
she contorted her face into a scary mask
and made threatening motions
but it would not leave her
and then
the inevitable gunshot
and the girl and her beloved sparrow died

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

Fear is a Faithful Friend

I am frozen
I always have been
Just think with me for a moment
Every moment of every day is so very lucid
I wouldn't imagine I will ever forget the whirlwind inside of me
And yet,
I am empty
I will forget soon
Even this morning is a comparative blur
A few minutes ago
I am a puppet of Time
How can I expect to be remembered *if I have forgotten myself?
I have forgotten myself
*I am as good as dead

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

Sunrise, Sunset

You told me why
You are afraid to die
You spoke the words I think at night
and thus we fall even deeper
Awake, my sleeper
You were the dream which didn't let me rise
The enigma in your eyes
I realize now
I will live my life
Looking for someone who shares my thoughts on death
I will be your dead poet
You will cry at my funeral
Not for the death, the parting
You are smarter than to give in thusly
But as you said
Time has won
**Time will always win

Screaming Wallflower Jun 2013

goodbye

I love you.
You cut out a chunk of your heart and grafted it onto mine
A patchwork quilt defrosting my confused heart
I can't help but to love you now
I love you
Because you never ask anything from me
Somehow you see me
You told me you see in me someone you want to marry
I told you we have to end
I'm scared
terrified, because
I love you.
You are fighting the same struggle against time
And I'd love to stand there on the frozen battlefield with you
But the cold winds are free from my mind
And blew me away
You blew me away
You said
it's not easy to let you go
It is so very hard
Ripping that beautiful quilt apart
Trying to see from the seams
what is you and what is me
But my eyes are blurry from tears
and I can't see anymore
I love you
And if I knew what emotions to put behind it
if I had any
I would tell you I am sorry