I saw you today for the first time in forever
Your hair was long and you seemed incredibly empty
I hope that emptiness stays with you
I hope you can't sleep at night
I wish I had pushed you away but I was so consumed by fear that I couldn't move
I can still feel your hands and I can still hear your voice and now my favorite shirt smells like you
I can't sleep and I can't eat and I think I might feel empty too

you're 5 years old and mom is sitting on the edge of your bed after reading a book to you, she gives you a goodnight kiss on your cheek as she wishes you sweet dreams and you're pretty sure there isn't any feeling better than the comfort you just felt
you're 16 now and the clock says it's 11:56 pm and you know its rainy out, but your friend ran outside to play in the pouring rain after you told her not to. You went after her like you always do.
She was standing under a streetlight and she called you an idiot for following her out into the rain
You laughed and said you would follow her anywhere.
It scared you to say it out loud, your hands were shaking
Her hand now grips one of yours and you feel her other hand on your waist
And now she is kissing you and both of your bodies are numb from the cold and rainwater is dripping down your face along with hers too
She pulls you closer and you can feel her bite your lip slightly and everything feels soft and messy and you're pretty sure there isn't any feeling better than knowing how starlight tastes

You're 11 years old and while at your friends house, you both are sitting on the couch while listening to her older sister share stories from when she was in highschool. She tells the story about how she had her first boyfriend at age 15, and how thats when she experienced heartbreak. She jokingly tells you two to stay away from boys, warning you specifically about the pretty ones who are troublemakers, because you'll fall in love and your heart will break
You're 15 now and you're sitting on the roof of your friends house. Sneaking up here with her during the summer to watch the sun begin to set has become one of your favorite things.
Warm golden sunlight is shining down on her, it sort of illuminates her features and it makes her eyes shine a little brighter, and you're looking at her lips and then you realize you've stared at her for longer than you should have. You stared longer than what would be considered appropriate. She stared back at you just the same.
She smiles at you, making your heart skip a beat because she looks so angelic and in that moment you felt your entire body ache with what you can only describe as longing.
  They told you about the pretty boys who cause trouble and they warned you about how they would break your heart.
But they didnt tell you about the pretty girls with messy black hair and brown eyes that shine golden in the sunlight. They didn't warn you about how you would stay up at night wishing to hold her in your arms, knowing you couldn't because you knew she was in love with a boy

Warm crimson liquid drips off the golden blade of a sword held by someone you know but can't remember
  its something beautiful and poetic

As wildflowers are consumed by smoldering flames, ash and smoke rise and fall through the air
You're on the ground with burning lungs and hands that won't stop shaking
   its something alluring but agonizing

You hear angelic laughter, it sounds like your lover but it isn't so sweet this time
You know its not them
  its something lovely but sickening

Your entire body aches as you wonder why humans are so fragile
Theres a warm and metallic taste on your lips and tongue, you recognize that its blood, you can't tell if it yours
This is all beautiful and poetic in a bit of a tragic way

Incandescent light spills out of you
Yet somehow you can't see that you're made of the stars
Your beauty cannot be contained
I hope you can one day fall in love with yourself as I have

The shimmering gold mixing with the soft amber tones of the lake creates a swirling effect, resembling little galaxies. Theres incandescent stardust on my skin. Everything is warm and hazy and I think I might've fallen asleep in the pool of sunlight that I fell into.

I know a girl who calls me her dear flower
and flowers are pleasant at first
but they're difficult to care for
People pour too much into the delicate plant
or they dont pour enough
People pluck the petals off one by one
she loves me, she loves me not
I am wilting and my roots are slowly rotting
something is wrong
and eventually I will be forgotten about