Some people think they know what pain is.
I'll tell you what pain is.

Pain is accidentally using your astringent instead of your eye makeup remover.
Pain is stepping on a lego barefoot.
Pain is stubbing your pinky toe on the same table leg for the 50th time.

Pain is taking responsibility for something that wasn't your fault simply because you're an "adult."
Pain is shedding a tear for the close friend who committed suicide over a year ago.
Pain is thinking about the last look of recognition before your grandfather's death.

Pain is feeling like you can never be honest with anyone about what you are truly feeling.
Pain is the fear that you may not ever find "the one."
Pain is caring too much for people who will never love you.

Pain is realizing that everything you believed in might be false.
Pain is knowing that the people you trusted have lied to you.
Pain is understanding that they were only doing what they thought was right.

This is my pain.
What's yours?

Searing secrets spill all over the floor between us like lava.
Seizing
Ripping
Tearing
Emotions clog my thoughts and rip through my fragile mask
Exploding onto my unsuspecting face.
Swallow them back. Don't act like a child.
You are better than this. Don't act like him.
A million volatile thoughts finally form one question: "why?"
A sideways glance. A floorboard focal point.
A thousand excuses escape and fall into the molten floor.
A skirt, a smile, a kiss, a mistake.
Forgiveness?
Forget it.
And the bell over the door chimes.

This day was so good,
But now it is quiet night.
Soon I will see you, Dear.

The troubles of day are gone, Dear.
Now we must focus on only good.
Dream shall we in this minty night.

Bodies harmonized to the motion of the night.
You are my nightingale, Dear.
Eyes close and all is good,

And we whisper, "Good night Dear."

The cool of the night envelopes us,
yet even the warmth of his sturdy hand,
cannot stop the chills careening down my spine.

With thoughts of the night still flashing behind our eyes,
we contemplate how to break the silence.
I mention the stars, it seems cliché,
yet he smiles, ahh that smile,
it revives the memory of our accidental meeting.

The deafening music beat against my head
like a thousand construction sites at once.
I stepped back to avoid further hearing loss.
We collided and said our excuse me’s.

Ohh how strikingly he smiled at me.
He sees the logo on my T-shirt.
We spoke for hours on trivial subjects:
the weather, the band, our past.

it awakens the memory of that date at the mall,
and the ketchup on his polo shirt.

it awakens the memory of that Fourth of July,
when I nicked his neck with a roman candle.

Again and again the awkward collisions,
tumbling into a temporary romance.

A car’s rumble brings my mind back,
“I have to go,” he says.
We embrace and part with ****** lips.

An endless ocean of fabric before her,
with abstract names that hold no meaning except,
in the constant chatting of blond girls in short skirts.
She has to pick the right one.

I once had a dream
Under an emerald sky
People with faces like clocks
Hands never stopping
Spinning round and round
Rust Rust
Twas all for not

My ship sailed the quiet seas,
slowing in a coral reef.
The setting sun shown on the flitting fish.

I peered into the deep,
into the darkness.  Then on the horizon,
water sprayed, a whale breached the surface.

I paused and took a breath.
The sun set each coral aflame.
Their light descended through the water

To a smooth shape, a fish: it swam
under each coral bridge, drifting
in the haven of the reef.

Vibrant, swift, comforted in its home,
taking in the light, reflecting
back its golden rays, the ******

of bliss, the burst of crimson
before darkness, a deep fire, the perfect
position, the enduring beauty, the sea at sunset.

Don’t worry Sydney,
We’ll soon be out of here;
Away from plain padded rooms,
And white monsters that sneer.

We’ll escape if only we can count,
One, Three, Seven and Five;
They keep getting jumbled,
But still we must strive.

Count Sydney Count!
We must take flight!
It is the only way,
we can stand and fight.

Oh just look at them Sydney,
Sam’s singing his simple song;
Leanna’s licking her leg,
Warren tells himself he’s wrong.

Craig is crying in his corner,
Dave’s drawing dots on the door;
Miss Persilla’s passing out pills,
And Monica’s moaning, “More More!”

Don’t cry now Sydney,
We’ll soon find a way;
To count to that number Orange,
And get out of here someday.

Eyes dry for lack of lid,
Sleep deprived forever,
Sitting there amid,
piles of bound thoughts.

Pencil grinding, keys typing;
Waiting for that one last stroke,
Holding on to one last hope.

Thoughts to be managed,
Ideas must be composed;
Till daylight hits the weary worker,
And eyelids finally close.

Sitting on the shore
I hear the ocean’s roar

Swimming fish float by
Causing me to wonder, “Why?”

Why the human is bound to land,
When the sea is so big and grand?

Why can we not float away,
Leaving behind care of day?

Sadly leaving my beach so serene,
I look back to see the marine.

Dazed, staring blankly at a screen
Mind empty, eyes full
Meaningless words **** past
Just another teen day

Drifting along the crowded halls,
bell vibrations fill the air,
movement all around me,
like insects skittering to their holes.

I see their façade faces;
their camouflage.
I mourn for their dying true selves;
but my sympathies go unanswered.

They attack me for my care-
scurrying to a room, escaping the swarm,
still feeling their stings-
yet my chrysalis offers no comfort.

On the shimmering surface,
I see my reflection dimly.
The face staring back is a stranger.
I sigh and don my mask once more.

What?

I am a swirling whirlpool
Of self-destruction
Eternal darkness surrounds me
The winged-one calls to be freed

Dying inside
Where is the Sun?
My light has gone out.